It is raining so at least I don't have to water the garden and the car is being showered.

Hubby is watching a strange programme on telly, not sure what but there seems to be subtitles involved. One child in his room still, another glued to his game boy!

So I am going to do an hours worth of sewing as I haven't done any yet today, talk eldest into washing up, which is supposed to be one of his chores but he seems to conveniently forget, and make sure youngest gets to bed at a reasonable time tonight.

All in all it has been a productive day. Tomorrow I have a funeral to go to which will not be pleasant but no doubt I will cope with.

So I will bid you all a good night for now and see you all when I get back tomorrow.

Another email that was sent to me. Enjoy!

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!!

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice
in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from
men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?
1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?

1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goof ball.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those
invisible eyes on the back of her head.

This was emailed to me a while ago. I know a lot of you had to work today so thought it might put a smile on your faces. Enjoy

With the exception of my DH everyone is home and in their various rooms under the threat of something serious happening if they dare so much as make a mess of downstairs! I have spent today:

sorting out the cupboard that refuses to shut anymore
Sorting out the drawer that is in danger of collapsing
Cleaning the conservatory
Cleaning and sorting the rubbish on the computer table
Cleaning the laminate floor in dining room
Dusting and polishing computer table and items in the living room
Hoovering all of downstairs
Cleaning cooker
Cleaning kitchen floor
Cleaning sink
hoovering kitchen.

I have evicted a few spiders and their webs that seem to have sprung up over the last couple of days (peril of living near a wood). I have got rid of 2 bags of rubbish (yes the cupboard and drawer were that bad). I only hope there was nothing in there that was that important, hubby is a hoarder and it drives me insane! I am now exhausted. Of course there is still the bathroom and my bedroom to still do but that can wait until tomorrow they are not that bad!

Hubby due home soon so better do my domestic Goddess bit and cook some dinner.

Dropped eldest off at summer school and decided to go to Asda and fill up with petrol and pick up a few things for tea tonight. Coaxing the car up the hill and into the road that leads to Asda (car seriously needs petrol at this point), head towards the petrol station when youngest screams "Mum stop! Stop!"

"Not now dear, mummy needs petrol"
"Mum stoooopppppppp!" by this time I can hear him panicing.

Pull up beside pump and there is blood everywhere, all over him, the seat - you get the picture.

He points to his nose "I'm having a nose bleed" he says " and it is all over my shirt".

Give him a tissue, good job I have a supply in the car, clear him up as best as I can, while he sits and holds his nose bemoaning the fact that he has blood on his spiderman t shirt!

Got into Asda, eventually, he runs to the toilets to clean himself up, I get what I need for tea plus some cleaning things to clean the blood off the car seats - bless him.

Posting this as when this picture was sent to me it followed on from a discussion that I had with a friend about allowing your other half to look at people of the opposite sex.

Would you allow your husband/wife/partner to look at someone of the opposite sex while they were with you?
Would you point someone that was looking nice or that you thought was good looking out to them?

My husband friends think I am unusual. I call them the football family as they are like an extended family. Despite the fact that they live miles away from us, we see them regularly during the footie season. I get on really well with them, in fact I prefer mixing with them rather than their wives at gatherings. We have fun together, we chat on the phone, they tell me things which they probably wouldn't even discuss with their wives. When hubby comes home from the footie he will tell me all the gossip, who is having problems etc and they know he does this.

The other reason why they think I am strange is because I never get offended if hubby comments or looks at another woman while we are out. Often he will point someone out to me and say "she looks nice, like that dress" or "she needs to have a haircut" or he will admire certain bits of a woman's body as they pass him. I will look at men and probably do the same thing. We tell each other if we have seen anything funny while we were out.

He came home the other day and told me about something he saw in broad daylight. He was taking a short cut home. This goes down a winding road, surrounded by farmland on the edge of town, when cars in front of him were slowing down - unusual as ppl tend to speed along this stretch. Then he saw them. two naturists walking down the street, not noticing that ppl were gawping at them, even if they did notice they hid it well. Hubby said it wasn't the fact that they were naked that made him look it was the amount of piercings both of them had on their bodies!

I don't see the point in getting offended about it. I know he will look, he is human at the end of the day, we all look at some point at other ppl so why not do it when your partner is there and talk about it. The photo above reminded me a lot of this when it was sent - one of hubby's friend went abroad with his family last year, lots of topless/naked bodies on the beach and his wife told him she would leave if she caught him looking at anyone. He says he was very uncomfortable, there was no where for him to look without looking at someone, so he lay there with eyes shut and his wife sat next to him in her bikini. Most of his friends wives are like this.

Perhaps I am strange.

Would like to here other's thoughts about this.

Well we did go to see the new and improved garden centre and wow, it is brill.  Whole new sections of gift ideas and not just to do with gardening either.  Huge book section, seen a couple for various ppl for Christmas, spotted the perfect pressie for my sister from the kids, and noticed the homemade jams and chutneys.  The plant section didn't look as big as it normally is and we didn't see any water features either, but we were told that they had been affected by storm damage so not all the stock was out.  It took us a good two hours to get round the store, browsing and certainly is worth going back.

Take care.

who I nicked this from!

The Rules:
1. You can only say Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!

Taken a picture naked? : No
Made out with a member of the same sex? : No
Danced in front of your mirror? : Yes
Told a lie? : Yes
Gotten in a car with people you just met?: No
Been in a fist fight? : No
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : No
Been arrested? : No
Left your house without telling your parents? : No
Ditched school to do something more fun? : No
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : No
Seen someone die? : No
Kissed a picture? : No
Slept in until 3? : Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : Yes
Played dress up? : Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? : No
Felt an earthquake? : No
Touched a snake? : No
Ran a red light? : Yes
Had detention? : No
Been in a car accident? : No
Pole danced? : No
Been lost? : Yes
Sang karaoke? : No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose??: No
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?? : No
Kissed in the rain? : Yes
Sang in the shower? : Yes
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : No
Ever gone to school partially naked? : No
Sat on a roof top? : No
Played chicken? : No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : No
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : Yes
Broken a bone? : Yes
Mooned/flashed someone? : No
Forgotten someone's name? : Yes
Slept naked? : Yes
Blacked out from drinking? : No
Played a prank on someone? : Yes
Felt like killing someone? : Yes
Made a parent cry? : Yes
Cried over someone? : Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : No
Had/Have a dog? : Yes
Been in a band? : No
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : No.
Shot a gun? : No

First thing in the morning as a wake up, that thought comes into my head. I really cannot function until I have had a huge cup of tea. It doesn't taste right any other time of the day, and though I do have it throughout the day nothing compares to that first cup.

So hubby wakes this morning, lets the dogs out, comes back to bed where he is promptly kicked out.
"Thought you were asleep" he mumbles.
"What with the noise you were making, don't think so"
"Better get you a cup of tea then" He replies.

Ah he knows me so well.:D

So sit in bed, do a couple of hours stitching after having my cup of delicious hot tea, and contemplate what to do today. Speak to mum on the phone,and an hour later she rings back for another chat. So I get up, make some bacon rolls for brekkie and have another cuppa. Not quite the same as the first cup, but just as good.

My poorly toe is black from bruising and is very tender and sore. Hubby now calling me hopalong!

Think I may make it round the garden centre, they have just refurbished one nearby, so may just take a look.

Ah lazy summer Sundays.

Your Superhero Identity For Today Is:

Name: Blue Wolf
Secret Identity: faffa jane
Special Power: Power Finger
Transportation: Magnetic Bicycle
Weapon: X-Ray Blade
Costume: Jewelled Skin
Sidekick: Bobo
Nemesis: Arnold the Riddler
Tragic Flaw: Fear of commitment
Favorite Food: Cashews

The finger might come in handy lol though how can I use the bicycle when I can't ride one that should be interesting! Love cashews!

Thanks Aj and Molt.

From the smells wafting through the window a couple of my neighbours are trying their hardest to have a barbecue before the rain starts. There has been the low grumbling sound of thunder overhead, but so far no rain.

Mind you they are rather quiet but there is definately the smell of burning in the air....................

could be a good idea if anything else goes wrong with this computer lol!

Ouch! Big black and purple bruise on one of my toes and it is swelling as silly child of mine decided when we were out to walk in front of me and stopped suddenly. He was wearing stupid sandals which I stubbed my toe on and it hurts!!!

Fortunately not on the same leg as the torn muscle which is really aching today!

Bugger! Dropped a glass on the kitchen floor and despite hoovering and sweeping still finding bits and pieces.

Blast! Sat down, hubby on computer playing his might and magic game, I am reading latest WW mag and wondering if I will ever lose this weight when there is a loud bang. Go round house looking for source when he shouts at me "The computer has frozen what's wrong". Have a look and the disk has shattered inside the CD rom! By the looks of it I need to get a new one now as we cannot get all the pieces out and cd rom now doesn't work. AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! Everytime he comes near the bloody computer then something goes wrong with it!

Kids think it is funny though!

Just had a nice dinner first one I have cooked in two weeks, quick pasta and bolognaise sauce, nothing fancy. Now off to try and finish magazine before anything else goes wrong. I am not having a good day!

Into town this morning, sorted out depleting finances, popped into new look to get a voucher for a friend and hubby saw a skirt. Told me to try it on and he would buy it for me if it fitted. Not wanting to pass up a good offer like this, proceeded to the changing rooms.

"You can't come in here" said the stick thin girl "you can only come in if you have 5 items."

"Yeah right" says I thinking she is joking.

"No it is company policy, only 5 items in the changing rooms, if you have less or more you can't come in"

Realising she is serious, turned round and told her what I thought of so called company policy and that I will take my money elsewhere - and no didn't lose temper or shout - just did it all politely and put the skirt back on the rack and proceeded to walk away.

Hubby was amused. He did buy the skirt and yes on getting home it does fit, but cannot help but think it is still a stupid policy.

Forgot to get voucher though, will have to send her money instead!

Ok not quite, but it is 8:15 in the evening and I am stuck at the computer again trying to sort out our depleting finances and pay a few bills.

For those of you who read my earlier post I am going to recap on my day and see if it was anything like the horoscope lol!

Quickie: There are no obstacles in your way right now, so big ideas can finally happen!
As predicted mortgage did get paid. Hubby got paid so will need to transfer money into account tomorrow to pay the rest of the direct debits. Then found, as I was sorting through paperwork, the tv licence is due - huge obstacle, sat and yet again juggled with the finances!

Overview: The universe sends you an enriching gift wrapped in the form of some unexpected time off. The trick is to fully enjoy this moment without fretting about what it all means. It's time to explore your inner depths. Didn't happen, still waiting for my enriching gift - oh I forgot the tv licence bill found untouched in its envelope!

As soon as you wake up this morning, you detect a change in the air -- there's more sunshine, more fresh oxygen and more freedom! No, as predicted by myself, the weather was hot and muggy here and plenty of sunshine, but no cooler and airless. As for freedom, did a lot of running around ferrying eldestto where he had to be for summer school, went shopping, saw a friend with some old clothes (barely worn) for her children.

Overnight, the obstacles you thought would be in your way today left town. I keep telling them to go but they are still here!

Cancellations, postponements and a few forgetful friends will free up your day so you can focus on the stuff you really want to do. Again, no didn't happen.

Your biggest ideas can finally get a little breathing room -- and they'll grow quickly under such positive conditions Again no, still not decided on the colour for the hallway and the only big idea round here that keeps rearing its ugly head is my husbands about emigrating! He goes on about it at least once a year and we are still here!

Glad I didn't plan my day round my horoscope I might have been sorely disappointed.

I am off to find some documents for other half's accountant, which I am sure she has had already but she says she hasn't! Night all!

faffajane's Daily Taurus Forecast

Quickie: There are no obstacles in your way right now, so big ideas can finally happen!
Hmm big obstacle Mortgage needs to be paid so no money for rest of week.

Overview: The universe sends you an enriching gift wrapped in the form of some unexpected time off. The trick is to fully enjoy this moment without fretting about what it all means. It's time to explore your inner depths.
Well I have time off but it wasn't unexpected it is the school holidays. I am enjoying being off work and certainly not fretting about it, though lack of money is a bit of an issue - must check to see if I have been paid yet! Do I really need to explore my inner depths?

Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)
As soon as you wake up this morning, you detect a change in the air -- there's more sunshine, more fresh oxygen and more freedom! Yes it is certainly a bit cooler, though the sun has just appeared through a dark cloud and is beginning to feel muggy again.
Overnight, the obstacles you thought would be in your way today left town. No they have not packed their bags and gone, they are still here. Cancellations, postponements and a few forgetful friends will free up your day so you can focus on the stuff you really want to do. I tend to do what I want anyway, there is nothing to cancel or postpone and my forgetful friend phoned me yesterday! Your biggest ideas can finally get a little breathing room -- and they'll grow quickly under such positive conditions hmmm toyed with the idea of painting hallway but cannot make up my mind about colour scheme so will leave that one until I have decided.

Good job I don't take any notice of these horoscopes. Only looked mine up today because the bloke on the radio was reading out everyones horoscopes (shortened version) on the radio and was intrigued by the universe sending me a gift - should I get a lottery ticket?

Now where did I put my stitching?

Today I have had 5 children screaming outside my house. Youngest son is only allowed outside to play if his friends from down the road, stay with him and they all congregate on my front lawn (which is about the same size as my back garden!). We have neighbours on one side who fortunately were out today otherwise I am sure they will have complained about the noise.

Usually youngest is not allowed to play out in the front, but his two friends (who are twins) have been allowed out to play so they come to call for him - hence only allowing them to stay on my front lawn. He is allowed to go with them to thier house if he tells me where he is beforehand, but he is not allowed to go to the end of the road where there is a huge piece of grassland seperating our road from the next road along.

Hubby thinks I am being overprotective. I personally think I am just being cautious. He is seven, ok will be 8 this time next month as he keeps telling me but still I think he is too young to be allowed to play in the street.

Don't get me wrong, we are not on a main road, in fact we live in a very quiet area, at the top of what could be termed as a cul de sac of sorts - or a no through road. We have very little problems round here, the odd burglary, the odd idiot who thinks pavements are for motorbikes, but fortunately these are very few and far between. I don't like him to be out of my sight to be honest. I like to know where he is. Afterall other people thought their kids were safe in their world only to have them abducted, you never can be too sure nowadays can you?

Yes I could keep him indoors and believe me if I had my way I would. But his eldest brother hasn't been around and he quite frankly gets bored with my company. We have played Buzz on the playstation, we have played connect 4, snakes and ladders, snap - you name it. I have read to him, he has read to me. We have done some drawings (I can't draw as he pointed out). He said he wanted to play with someone his own age and both my boys have a tendency to be very independant and stubborn, they have the worst traits of both parents! So today 5 children on my front lawn playing or re-enacting Harry Potter, and screaming at each other despite my best efforts to stop them from doing so. In the end I had to make him come indoors because of the noise, children dispersed and fortunately 5 minutes later it poured down with rain!

Eldest comes home with face like thunder and has done nothing but have a huge fit everytime someone looks at him, Hubby regales me with his latest moan about work, dogs bark at the thunder. Hubby now taken both children to Wing Chun so I have a couple of hours peace and quiet at last!

So I plan to sit in my conservatory and continue sewing.

Work in Progress

Thought I would post this as I found it funny and I know a lot of us women will prbably relate to this in some ways!

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo - 6 times

Wrong time of the month - 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

-------------------------

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

Did not come home at all - 36 times

Did not come - 21 times

Came too soon - 38 times

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

Cramps in your leg - 16 times

Working too late - 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"

Love, Your Wife

Each year he sent her roses,

and the note would always say,I love you even more this year, Than last year on this day.

My love for you will always grow, With every passing year."

She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear. She thought, he ordered roses In advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know, That he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, Way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, Everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and Placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside The portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours, In her husband's favorite chair. While staring at his picture, And the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was To live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, That had become her fate.

Then, the very hour, The doorbell rang, and there Were roses sitting by her door. She brought the roses in, And then just looked at them in shock.

Then, went to get the telephone, To call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, Why would someone would Do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.

The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance. Your husband always planned ahead, He left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, You'll get them every year.

There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago. Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that should be sent to you The following year."

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card. Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, This is what he wrote...

"Hello my love, I know it's been a year Since I've been gone. I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.

I know it must be lonely, And the pain is very real. For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything So beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say, You were the perfect wife. You were my friend and lover, You fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year, But please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy, Even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.

When you get these roses, think of all the happiness that we had together, And how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on, You have some living still. Please...try to find happiness, While living out your days. I know it is not easy, But I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, When your door's not answered, When the florist stops to knock. He will come five times that day, In case you have gone out.

But after his last visit, He will know without a doubt! To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him and place the roses where we are, Together once again.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend; Someone who changes your life Just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; Someone who makes you believe That there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door Just waiting for you to open it. This is Forever Friendship. This is the sacred RED ROSE.

I saw this posted on a site I visit and I love it, thought you might enjoy it too!

Anyone seen this programme on Channel 4? http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/H/htlgn/index.html

It is hosted by a fashion guru, Gok Wan, who admittedly I have never heard of until this series, but who takes ordinary women of all shapes and sizes and shows them how good they can look with clothes on and off. No cosmetic surgery involved, no make overs and no special effects.

In each of the programmes I have seen so far he gets the woman to stand in front of a mirror in their underwear and talks through what they see/what they hate. He then discusses this with various people on the streets who are looking at the person who is projected in their underwear on the side of a tall building. Then there is the shopping spree finding what clothes suit you until you are confident enough to have a photoshoot of yourself done, naked, which again is projected onto the side of the building and discussed with passersby. The idea is to build up self esteem and to be confident with your body as far as I can tell.

Anyway after watching a couple of episodes it got me thinking (a dangerous habit I admit) about how many women are truly happy with what they see in the mirror. Personally I am one who isn’t happy. My bust is too small. My arms are flabby. My hips too big. My stomach has seen better days and no matter how many sit ups I do it still hangs over (result of two cesarians). My thighs are like tree trunks. Love handles the size of handles on a huge jug. Ok I may not be that bad, but near enough. Hubby however loves my size, my flabby bits, my stomach and everything else I hate. For every negative I find he can find a positive. He loves big women, more for him to hold and cuddle whereas I just find my size grotesque.

Of course it is not as bad as it was. Most people don’t believe me when I say that up until two years ago I was a size 24. Two years of dieting and I got down to a size 16 after losing 31/2 stone. A stone has gone back on and ideally I need to get rid of two but I am happier than I once was. The trick is the way you dress, hide the bits you don’t like, highlight the ones you do, therefore people often thought I was thinner than I was. They saw a bubbly person who was the life and soul of the party, always laughing at everything, the truth was I was crying inside.

Nowadays I still use the same tricks to disguise bits but there are still times when I look in the mirror and hate what I see – the flabby arms, the huge thighs, the stomach that hangs. There are times when I get dressed and feel good, other times I look and think I really need Trinny and Susanah to sort me out.

Of course I know there are some men out there that have the same sort of hang ups about their bodies. Hubby has always wished he had a bit of a six pack but freely admits he really is too lazy to do anything about it. He has filled out nicely over the years, when we first got together, though strong, he looked more like a 7 stone weakling. Martial arts training has helped him a bit to fill out, but mostly it is good living - I feed him well.

I rarely watch these programes as I find them too dull and not very realistic. This programme is though. It features real women and it is interesting to find that they have the same feelings about their bodies as I have about mine. I know I will never be Kate Moss or Victoria Beckham, and truly I never want to be, that is way too skinny for me and anyway I am not built to be a skinny person. I need to do a lot of toning but hate going to the gym though I do exercise in the comfort of my own home. However it is tempting to
get someone to sort me out, tell me that I look wonderful (other than hubby that is) , to show me how to dress to look my best and to build up my self esteem, which is lacking at times. BUT the thought of stripping off in front of someone I don’t know does not appeal to me, as nice as the presenter seems. So I shall settle for watching him transform people on the telly and try to follow the advice Gok Wan gives.

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still
in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers
strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house
and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found
an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was
wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the
family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on
the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the
floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was
spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and mo re piles of
clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that
something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the
bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and
more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap
and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the
bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and
asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She
again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from
work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?" "Yes," was his
incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Hubby not impressed and is upset. In fact this morning it was funny watching him whinge and moan.

Let me explain.

He wanted to write down his holiday dates for work so that he can still be paid.

I wrote them down for him, he has a small fit as it means he will be missing the first two home games of the footie seasons (everyone say ahhhhhh)

He told me I am doing this on purpose. After 16 years of marriage you would have thought he would have worked that out sooner wouldn't you? As I pointed out to him if he wanted a wife who pandered to his every need and sensitivity, who thought ahead about what he wanted to do and worked her life out according to his plans, he would have married someone else and not me. Obviously he loves me for my wit, my conversation, my organisational skills and for being cuddly.

He grins.

I told him he has had several weeks in front of the telly watching all these teams play and shouting at the ref, surely a break would do him some good.

Silly me of course he is having withdrawal symptons. Afterall, it has been several weeks since he has seen his footie mates as well as his best mate and chatting inanely on the phone just isn't the same for men is it?

Ok you win, he says, for god's sake shut up I have got to go to work and I really didn't need a lecture!

Cruel person that I am I can't help but smile at this as I didn't book to go away to see my Aunt and Uncle on them dates intentionally so he could miss the home games, in fact I only booked those dates as they were the only ones available for the dogs to go to the kennels!

So today I didn't do as much as I planned. Spoke to mother on the phone, ran eldest to summer school, did some shopping with youngest in tow and finished reading my book which was one of these you just wanted to know what happened next. It was historical fiction as it was set in King John's time, full of intrigue, love and the usual politics of that time.

Then came the phone call. One of DH's acquaintances parent has died, so another funeral to attend and we had to break the news to BIL who has taken it quite badly but said he will attend which has surprised us a bit as we thought he would have wanted to avoid this one, but then again maybe he just wants to put some demons to rest at long last.

I am surprised at my tan this year. Very little time spent outside yet I am turning a lovely brown colour on my arms and neck. Hubby keeps commenting on the white bits but they will have to remain white, the neighbours might complain if I walk around with no clothes on!

And on that note I had better get the washing in and show it what an iron looks like. It is a bit cooler here now, though still hot and the forecast is for it to be even hotter tomorrow so I don't intend to do too much!