Anyone seen this programme on Channel 4? http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/H/htlgn/index.html

It is hosted by a fashion guru, Gok Wan, who admittedly I have never heard of until this series, but who takes ordinary women of all shapes and sizes and shows them how good they can look with clothes on and off. No cosmetic surgery involved, no make overs and no special effects.

In each of the programmes I have seen so far he gets the woman to stand in front of a mirror in their underwear and talks through what they see/what they hate. He then discusses this with various people on the streets who are looking at the person who is projected in their underwear on the side of a tall building. Then there is the shopping spree finding what clothes suit you until you are confident enough to have a photoshoot of yourself done, naked, which again is projected onto the side of the building and discussed with passersby. The idea is to build up self esteem and to be confident with your body as far as I can tell.

Anyway after watching a couple of episodes it got me thinking (a dangerous habit I admit) about how many women are truly happy with what they see in the mirror. Personally I am one who isn’t happy. My bust is too small. My arms are flabby. My hips too big. My stomach has seen better days and no matter how many sit ups I do it still hangs over (result of two cesarians). My thighs are like tree trunks. Love handles the size of handles on a huge jug. Ok I may not be that bad, but near enough. Hubby however loves my size, my flabby bits, my stomach and everything else I hate. For every negative I find he can find a positive. He loves big women, more for him to hold and cuddle whereas I just find my size grotesque.

Of course it is not as bad as it was. Most people don’t believe me when I say that up until two years ago I was a size 24. Two years of dieting and I got down to a size 16 after losing 31/2 stone. A stone has gone back on and ideally I need to get rid of two but I am happier than I once was. The trick is the way you dress, hide the bits you don’t like, highlight the ones you do, therefore people often thought I was thinner than I was. They saw a bubbly person who was the life and soul of the party, always laughing at everything, the truth was I was crying inside.

Nowadays I still use the same tricks to disguise bits but there are still times when I look in the mirror and hate what I see – the flabby arms, the huge thighs, the stomach that hangs. There are times when I get dressed and feel good, other times I look and think I really need Trinny and Susanah to sort me out.

Of course I know there are some men out there that have the same sort of hang ups about their bodies. Hubby has always wished he had a bit of a six pack but freely admits he really is too lazy to do anything about it. He has filled out nicely over the years, when we first got together, though strong, he looked more like a 7 stone weakling. Martial arts training has helped him a bit to fill out, but mostly it is good living - I feed him well.

I rarely watch these programes as I find them too dull and not very realistic. This programme is though. It features real women and it is interesting to find that they have the same feelings about their bodies as I have about mine. I know I will never be Kate Moss or Victoria Beckham, and truly I never want to be, that is way too skinny for me and anyway I am not built to be a skinny person. I need to do a lot of toning but hate going to the gym though I do exercise in the comfort of my own home. However it is tempting to
get someone to sort me out, tell me that I look wonderful (other than hubby that is) , to show me how to dress to look my best and to build up my self esteem, which is lacking at times. BUT the thought of stripping off in front of someone I don’t know does not appeal to me, as nice as the presenter seems. So I shall settle for watching him transform people on the telly and try to follow the advice Gok Wan gives.

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still
in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers
strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house
and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found
an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was
wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the
family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on
the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the
floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was
spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and mo re piles of
clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that
something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the
bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and
more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap
and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the
bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and
asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She
again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from
work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?" "Yes," was his
incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."