Posts archive for: 06 October, 2006
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A damm fine explanation - one for the men!
@ 06/10/06 – 16:29:03
A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman.Being somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a
faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say
to me!"And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she
was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I
threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer
jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say
they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary
present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found
the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to
annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive
boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same"The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful
for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she
turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, Please ... do you have
anything else that your wife doesn't use? .............................. -
Joke
@ 06/10/06 – 16:24:54
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have a 24-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
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OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!
@ 06/10/06 – 16:22:00
In pain again!
I feel like an invalid sometimes.
Walking home from the school this morning after dropping youngest off, I turned to speak to my friend and felt the calf muscle in my leg go 'pop'. "OOOOOUUUUCCCCCHHHHHH" I screamed as the pain appeared and then gingerly hobbled home.
After Asda etc, laid on the sofa recuperating.
It hurts!
Both legs hurt!
Have walked to school to pick youngest up, should have rested but I have a fear of the muscle seizing up altogether if I don't walk on it.
Cannot understand why the other leg is playing up now, it is such a hindrance!
I have taken some Anti inflammatories in the hope that will ease it a little and a painkiller. Definately am going to phone doctor on Monday.
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Why sex before marriage is a good idea
@ 06/10/06 – 14:09:00
Quality isn't good I am afraid but still funny!
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where has the light gone?
@ 06/10/06 – 13:08:55
It is so dark here, it is like early evening, just before you pull the curtains to shut out the outside world.
It has done nothing but rain, and some parts of town are flooded as well.
And yes I did get caught in it!
Fortunately I popped to Asda to get some milk, and food for the week, then to iceland for some freezer things as the freezer is low. But it rained so hard even having the windscreen wipers on full pelt you still couldn't see, quite scary really.
Lost 2.5Ibs at fat club. Not all that pleased was hoping for more as I haven't been for two weeks, but at the end of the day it is a loss so it is going in the right direction.
Now off to have my sandwich and unpack the shopping!
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Weigh in day - the hour approaches
@ 06/10/06 – 07:34:57
Groan.
Decided that today I will go to fat club to see if I have lost anything. I have been on this 'regime' for two weeks now, didn't wi last week as I know at certain times of the month I weigh more, so will go today instead and see if my efforts have worked.
So far I have eaten less, stayed within my points which is good, however at times I have not eaten enough points on occasion.
I have power walked to son's school to collect him, the long way round which takes approx 20 mins, at least 3 times a week.
I have not drunk as much water as I should do unfortunately, must do better in this area!
It is cold out I can feel it in the conservatory. The weather is dull, and at last there is light outside. I hate getting up in the dark it always makes me feel tired.
Good quote on my desk top this morning :
Confusion is always the most honest response. (Marty Indik). No idea who Marty is, and searches have only brought up that he may be Jewish, but I have to say at work yesterday I even managed to confuse myself at one point (quite an easy thing for me to do) so know my Head of year got confused as well!
Oh well can't put it off. Better go and see if the kids have sorted themselves out for school, find something light for me to wear and get ready to go.
Wish me luck!!
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