"Boyfriend is here" says Nigel as we stroll past Game onthe way to Debenhams cafe.

mmmmm blue eyes, long hair and joy he is dressed in black - there is something about a man dressed all in black it really makes me squirm! But enough about my Saturday morning which has been quite boring so far. Didn't get to chat to 'games geek' this week, even though I have no idea what he is on about. Nigel was on a mission to cheer me up and buy me soemthing for me to go out in tonight so no time to do his weekly browse through the games.

Apologies for not replying to your kind comments and advice about my predicament. I hit an all time low yesterday and wasn't very good company at all so stayed away.

I saw the doctor about my legs and he has no idea why I am suffering so much. Apart from telling me to lose weight (duh!) - I did explain to him that since the last time he saw me I had lost 31/2 stone so what am I supposed to do when I cannot exercise as it leaves me in so much pain. He wasn't very sympathetic, just shook his head and wrote out a prescription for more painkillers and anti inflammatories. He has told me that it definately does look like I have torn the calf muscle in both legs, but cannot explain why it keeps happening. I am hoping to go and see a physiotherapist soon to see if he can come up with anything.

So yesterday as I said I was so low I mainly spent the day crying and feeling sorry for myself. I did go and have lunch with a friend but wasnt' much company. My friend who turned 40 in the week, invited me out for a meal tonight, a few drinks then onto a nightclub, but I declined.

That is where Nigel stepped in. Knowing how low I was he talked me into going out tonight, even if I just go for the meal. Told him I have nothing to wear - he looked at me in disbelief having seen how many parcels have arrived recently - but said "thats ok we will go shopping tomorrow".

"I have no money says I"

"thats ok I will get some out for you"

And true to his word he did and treated me to a lovely red top for tonight that will go with a lovely suede skirt I have.

I spent this morning in various shops trying on dresses, tops some that fitted well, some I struggled with. My problem is I have a small bust and big hips so sometimes something will fit round stomach/hips but be too big on the top or vice versa. One dress I tried on looked lovely if no one was ging to notice that I couldn't get the zip done up all the way! Seen some lovely dresses though and if I do manage to lose a stone before christmas I am going to treat myself to one.

So today I feel a bit more cheerier that I have been. I still have pain in legs when i walk but trying to not let it get too bad and if i have to spend too long standing up/walking around when my legs are bad I will take time off work - decided I will not let that get to me!