Spread your wings and fly away

THE 5 STAGES OF A FEMALE'S LIFE

1. To Grow Up

2. To Fill Out

3. To Slim Down

4. To Hold It In

AND

5. To Hell with it

John, my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife,

Joanna xx

P.S . Oh, by the way, your girlfriend called!!!!

Well the sun is shining today which never fails to pick up the spirits a little. However on going outside to take youngest to school there is definately a chill in the air and jack frost has left his mark on the parked cars!

Not going in again today, Simon is still poorly, had a bad night with a hacking cough and pain in throat and he begged me to stay with him so here I am. He is more important anyway

Didn't do my ironing yesterday as planned, amazing what crap there is on the telly to watch when you are at home so sat and watched it. I did however do some exercising so I have redeemed myself a little.

This morning I will try and do some ironing, though not making any promises after all I have a child to look after - that is my excuse and I am sticking to it lol!

Right better sort out a few emails and catch up with some paperwork

Well the sun is shining today which never fails to pick up the spirits a little. However on going outside to take youngest to school there is definately a chill in the air and jack frost has left his mark on the parked cars!

Not going in again today, Simon is still poorly, had a bad night with a hacking cough and pain in throat and he begged me to stay with him so here I am. He is more important anyway

Didn't do my ironing yesterday as planned, amazing what crap there is on the telly to watch when you are at home so sat and watched it. I did however do some exercising so I have redeemed myself a little.

This morning I will try and do some ironing, though not making any promises after all I have a child to look after - that is my excuse and I am sticking to it lol!

Right better sort out a few emails and catch up with some paperwork

Well I am not going into work today. I have a sick child.

Simon has taken to his bed and in all honesty he is very ill, in fact this is the child who battles on regardless because he is always worried about falling behind at school, so I know he is ill when he can't get out of bed on a school day.

Anyway he fainted a couple of times yesterday so wasn't going to send him in today anyway!

Would be nice if he could keep food and water down though, everytime he eats or drinks he brings it back up, so it is quite a nasty stomach bug he has on top of that the shivering and feeling cold when the heating is on full blast!

It will work out in its own good time no doubt.

So plans for today, to try and get no1 son to eat something and keep it down, so need to find something appetising and tempting for him to eat - a good excuse to visit Sainsburys. Then perhaps tackle the mountain of ironing that is sitting here waiting to be done and do some form of exercise as well.

A fun packed Tuesday then lol!

Well Monday has arrived again, the start of a new week to get through.

Eye feeling a little better, well it isn't itching and no gunk from it this morning so may attempt to go to work.

Simon sick in bed, not well poor thing, think he may be overtired as well so sent him back.

Richard usual annoying self, nothing much changes lol!

Not working long today, changed hours slightly as I have no class today so working in another - will be home by 12.30 which is bliss!

Feels very warm here today, had to turn the heating off as I was so warm, not sure what it is like outside of course, though weather man says it is quite mild.

Right better get off and tidy the breakfast things away.

What do you buy a man who is celebrating his 60th birthday?

Any ideas?

Is an Arsenal supporter, so have got him a book about arsenal but he isn't really into reading books at all.

Used to be a referee, no longer does that.

Tends to lay on sofa watching telly a lot.

Other than that not sure what interests he has

Help?

My eye has been sore for days. It is itchy, there is discharge, but there is no redness which is what most of the sites that I have looked at say there is with conjunctivitis.

i have been careful, we never share towels or flannels, I have tried not to touch the eye and have been bathing it with salt water.

Don't think it is Conjunctivitis, but if it carries on I will see the doctor.

That is what it feels like with the washing machine at the moment!

3rd lot of sheets now in the wash then I will have to tackle the mountain of clothes, eldest son has come home with.

Did manage to do some ironing, still have a basket or two to tackle though, but not in the mood for it and can't be bothered to do it now.

Simon had a great trip, said he was cold at times but otherwise it was fun. Really glad he is back home now, he was missed. At least I got some sympathy off him about my back - he even made me a cup of tea to say thanks for picking him up bless him

Nigel did cook tea tonight, not something Simon was impressed with. Nigel cooked chicken and chips, Simon said he had been eating junk all week and was hoping that I was going to cook something healthy, but as I pointed out I have been busy all weekend and was glad someone else was cooking instead. Have promised to make Chilli tomorrow though, his favourite. Plan on a stew on Tuesday and have to decide what to have the rest of the week but at least two days are sorted

Right, going to have a well earned drink now and sit and vegetate in front of the telly.

Sun is shining and it feels warmer than it has done of late. There is a bit of a breeze, as I can see the tall trees swaying in the wind.

Mood hasn't lifted today, back is worse due to the flipping dog having my down the stairs this morning, didn't get an awful lot of sympathy but at least hubby is now out of the way, doing a private job for a friend, and taken 2nd son with him.

So house to myself for a while.

Just had breakfast, need to get in the shower and face the crowds at Sainsburys. Don't normally shop there but cannot be bothered to go all the way to Asda to get the shopping. Only need a few things anyway which is a bonus, enough to get us through the week then i plan on tackling the ironing.

Have one boil wash on, a couple more than need to be done

Oh well better get a move on!

Firstly my apologies to those who got my friends only post twice, I did only press the send button once and am not impressed that two lots appeared! Oh and what the hell happened to my title? I wrote that before I wrote the main item - Blog.uk give me my title back!!!!!

While on the computer earlier, youngest son, in a bid to get into my good books, decided to strip the beds for me. Ok his needed doing due to a nose bleed in the night, but he decided to do all of them. So that gave me a good excuse to give the bedrooms a good clean and tidy, went out and purchased some new pillows for the boys beds, gave every room a good dust and hoover and got rid of ...............wait for it....................8 carrier bags of rubbish! My children don't seem to be able to throw anything away!

Bathroom got a good clean as well, everywhere hoovered, including the stairs and the living room back in order again. Only just sat down from doing it all, several piles of washing in the kitchen waiting to go into the machine. Only room not done is the kitchen, but not much point in doing that until Nig has finished cooking and I may, leave it until tomorrow now, after I have done the ironing that is piling up again.

I feel as though I have achieved something today, and though I still have another busy day ahead of me at least it is all back to being ship shape again

I love this one, really catchy!

I just love how the drummer throws himself into this

I love this one, really catchy!

I just love how the drummer throws himself into this

Nigels favourite video at the moment!

Well this evening has been a lot better.

I sat and laughed through Hollyoaks, first time I have seen it in two years and it is still dire, then switched over to Kerrang and have been singing along to the songs or tapping feet along to the tune. Hubby has been getting quite into it saying occasionally "Oh I like this song I heard it on the radio the other day" while youngest got excited over Bowling for Soup and their song 1985, which he saw on the telly the other day and is now begging me to buy the CD.

I have added to the list of CDs that I wish to purchase sometime in the near future to add to my collection, making a note of course of all the ones that Simon may like as well. He is really into the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, who I also like, and they never fail to lift my mood a bit.

In between times I have listened to Bon Jovi, Metallica and Bryan Adams on my MP3 player and ate comfort food in the form of chips from the Chinese (hubbys idea of chinese food is omlette and chips!) so he bought them home!!!

Drinking a nice glass of Rum and peppermint now so all is well in Faffa's world once more.

OLD people have problems that you haven't even
considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor
for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take
this jar home and bring back a semen sample
tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at
the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was
as
clean and empty as on the previous day. The
doctor asked what happened and the man explained,

"Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with
my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth,
first with the teeth in, then with her teeth
out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the
lady next door and she
tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her
knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your
neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us
could get the jar open."

To say I am pissed off is an understatement. I can't even describe how I feel at the moment, just really fed up and want to run and hide.

I hate feeling like this.

So all I have done today is sit on the sofa and watched all the utter useless crap on the telly.

started out having Kerrang on but never got that far. Watched a film which was so pathetic I can't even remember the title on Movies 24, then an old episode of casualty, 5 mins of some nonce called Jeremy Kyle, he soon got switched off - what is that about?, Neighbours which was utter drivel - someone trying to give birth in a hospital which was burning and later, surprise surprise, the baby was stolen - all in the course of a day in neighbours - then some tv drama thing which as it turns out although predictable was just about watchable!!!

Upset child because the teacher shouted at him for not doing his homework (tough he got very little sympathy) though I don't agree with the homework system they have in place at junior school as it is totally irrelevant. It is a learning log where they get two objectives a week to do, so this week was draw members of your family and what have you learnt about Judaism. Now I would rather they sent him home with reading, spelling and times tables but no we have these learning log things which are a waste of time in my opinion - roll on Monday, parents consultation evening should be fun with a teacher that has only had him for 4 weeks!!

Right going to stop moaning and watch some more drivel for the sheer hell of it!

What type of partier are you? Your Result: The Lurker You like to go out and party, go to bars, concerts, etc - but stay more on the sidelines. You and part of the action, but people have to approach you more than you jumping into the middle of the action. You typically don't get 'hammered', just buzzed enough to come out of your shell and talk to a few people, usually other 'lurkers'. Large groups of people talking at once intimidate you and you tend to drift away from the pack often.
The designated driver
The Socialite
The rock-star party animal
Bar Social Butterfly
Hardcore drunk
Bar Slut
What type of partier are you? Make Your Own Quiz

Actually come to think of it, describes me perfectly lol

Nicked from nannyogg

When you woke up today, what was the first thing you thought?
No I don't want to face the world today.

What's a word that rhymes with duck?
Luck

Favorite planet?
Sam's world

What is your favourite ring on your phone?
Calypso

What shirt are you wearing?
white tshirt with pink cardi

What were you doing 20 minutes ago?
Walking son to school

Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
Rebook trainers

Bright or dark room
Enough light to cross stitch by

If you're in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep in?
The one closest to the door

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping - having a very weird dream

How do you like your eggs?
boiled

What's a word/phrase that you say a lot?
Don't really know if I have one

Who told you he/she loved you last?
My husband as he was leaving for work this morning

Last furry thing you touched?
My dog that was breathing in my ear this morning

How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
2 - they belong to the children

Favorite age you have been so far?
24, 25, 32 and 40

Your worst enemy?
Oneof my ex boyfriends

What is the picture on your desktop?
The same as the one on top of my blog

What was the last thing you said to someone?
Have a good day and take care, love you.

If you had to choose between a million £££'s or being able to fly, which one would you choose and why?
The money, I like to stay on ground

Last song you listened to?
she's a maneater - it was playing on the radio

If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, what would you do?
Scream, cry phone police

If you could punch one person in the face, who would it be?
No one words are better then punching

What is the closest object to your left foot?
A chair

First thought upon waking "Do I really have to get up?"

Ok so I have got out of taking Nig to work this morning, he has taken the car which means that I will not be able to get out and about as a result, which considering financial situation will propbably be a good thing.

But I really didn't want to face the world this morning.

I am hoping this is just the normal January blues that I get and nothing more. It is not like me to feel this low. Everything is getting on my nerves at the moment, work, weight, pain, life and yet there is no reason for it to really.

This isn't the usual cheerful me I have to say, and I hate feeling like this, perhaps it is time to start taking the St John's wort again.

On a happier note, heard from NO.1 son yesterday, well he texted me to say that he did get the things I dropped off at the school before he left - honestly he would forget his head if it wasn't attached to his neck. Seems like he is having a good time despite the weather, which is good.

Oh well better make sure youngest child is now ready for school and go and have my shower!

Couldn't get on the computer this morning to do my morning post as hubby decided at 7.45 this morning that he must have the car.

Damm

his van was due for its MOT so he was going to drop that off, drop me off at work, drop Richard off at school then go to work. He then needed to pick Richard up and then me, but that is an even longer story!

consequently at 8.10 this morning I was sitting in the staffroom cuddling a hot cup of coffee, when I didn't really need to be there until 9 which is when I start work.

Kids have been hyper at school today as well, must be something in the air. then some kind person decided to bring in the biggest tin of chocolates I have ever seen, which has now been demolished by the staff!

Next week will be strange. Most of the class are off on school trip to the farm so won't be about for a couple of days. I have a class as a base on Monday then after that I am being used for cover supervision which I am ok about because I haven't a class for the rest of the week, so until my class come back I am floating which should be fun

Nig picked me up at 4, and gave me the news that the van had failed so will have to sort out the money to pay for all the repairs tomorrow, which also means that I have the task of taking him to work in Stevenage tomorrow as well and picking him up afterwards!!

My day off, good job I don't have much planned lol!

Not been too bad weatherwise today, cold outside but not icy as feared and no further snow falls thankfully and the sun has shone which always serves to brighten the mood a little

Just had the latest underwear catalogue delivered so going to have a browse to see if there is anything that is worth buying, that I cannot possibly do without - afterall a girl cannot have too much underwear!

Yeah like I will do this!

It has been a strange day. Lots of moans and groans from the kids because they couldn't go out to play in whatever remained of the snow (health and safety, we don't want them to break a limb now do we?), teachers snapping at each other, kids hyper, teachers not being able to do what they should be doing and an assembly where there shouldn't have been an assembly.

I feel as though I have chased my tail and not caught it - now I know how my greyhound feels

Then of course there was a Governors meeting, where not a lot was done, even though a lot was said.

coming home it has felt empty. Hubby is here, as is my youngest child, but my eldest isn't here. He has gone on his Geography field trip to Kingswood activity centre in Cromer and the house feels empty without him around. Not that we see him much when he is at home, he sits in his room playing his playstation and listening to his music, occasionally popping downstairs to see if there is any food to devour in the kitchen and ask 101 questions about what we are watching. It isn't as though I can pretend he is upstairs either as even passing his room earlier I thought how empty the house feels without him around.

Oh I know, grow up. Eventually he will leave the nest and move out. He will move on with life, because he has a plan and knowing my son he will achieve it no matter how long it takes him, but it seems strange without him now.

Reflecting on this I think that as he grows older the more like me he becomes. There is definately more of me in him than his father and once I did worry about this as he was getting far too serious, and yes, he is still serious, still very studious, but has developed a sense of humour especially apparent when we tease him as is our want. But the seriousness of him has been my rock recently. There is nothing I cannot talk to him about. Watching Kerrang together the other night he was commenting on what groups he liked and why which was nice as no one else here seems to share my taste in music, but it seems my eldest is beginning to - Trivinium is our current favourite, alongside Metallica, and Megadeth, though I am also a fan of Snow Patrol, the Calling and Feeder. My musical tastes have a vast range and so his are beginning to develop that way. We can talk about it whereas if I mention Megadeth to Nig he looks at me as though I have just sworn at him!

I miss my son, it is only the first night, God knows what I will do when he decides to move out altogether lol

First thought as the alarm went off this morning "God it is cold"

Shuffled up under the duvet trying to get warmth off hubby's body who btw spent most of the night talking in his sleep and thrashing about (I was lucky not to have my nose broken again at one point). One dog must also have been cold as he was trying, in vain, to get up between us for warmth, but I was having none of that, he always nicks the duvet!

Finally dragged myself out of bed as the weatherman announced that most of the southern Counties are under a 'blanket' of snow.

Great I thought, I hate snow.

Peered gingerly between crack in the curtains hoping that he was wrong, but alas no, I am not that lucky.

Ok it isn't a lot,even I have to admit that, but enough that if it doesn't disappear by the end of today then you can bet it will freeze over tonight, then it will be icy, then the idiots will be on the road then then then..................

WWWWAAAAAHHHHHHH

I want to stay at home in the warm. I don't want to go to work. It is toooooo cold out there!

I hate winter!

Woke up this morning, first thing I notice was how cold I feel. There is no frost outside, yet when you open the door it feels very frosty. cold enough for snow brrrrrr.

Throat is still sore, and I feel very tired yet I had a good night sleeps, no dreams to torment me or make me think. Surprising really, as Nig was being attacked by rabid dogs and zombies in Resident evil 4!

got to go in early to work this morning. Head has called a meeting of Tas so have to be there. Wales has now been booked, 2 nights in a lovely hotel in Aber so at least we will not have to drive to Uncle's party we can get a taxi!! Lots of drinking ahead - oh dear just remembered will have to drive home next day so not much point drinking too much

Ok enough rambling, hope everyone has a good day, must dash off to work now

The Church Phone

A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around
the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started
working
east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking
photographs
and making notes.

He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall, and was intrigued
with a sign which read, "$10,000 per minute."

Seeking out the pastor, he asked about the phone and the sign.
The
pastor
answered that the golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to
Heaven,
and
if he pays the price, he can talk directly to God.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Salt Lake City,
Denver,
Chicago,
Milwaukee, and around the United State s, he found more such
phones,
with
the same sign, and the same explanation from each pastor.

Finally, the man arrived in the lovely state of North Carolina.
Upon
entering
a church, behold: he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS
time,
the
sign read: "Calls: 25 cents"!

Fascinated, the man asked to speak with the pastor.

"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each
church I have found this golden telephone, and have been told it
is
a
direct
line to Heaven, and that I could use it to talk to God..

But in 20 other churches, the cost was $10,000 per minute. Your
sign
says
25 cents per call. Why is that?"
(I just love this part!)

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied: "Son, you're in the South now,
and it's a local call. "

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The
cannibal
king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The
first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of
the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather
fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."
The
king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up
your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in
pain,
so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king
explained
the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in
laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked,
"Why
did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I
couldn't
help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

A fellow checked into a hotel on a business trip recently and was a
bit lonely so he thought he'd get one of those girls you see
advertised in
the
phone books under "Escorts and Massages".

He opened the phone book to an ad for a girl calling herself
Erotique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautif ul long
wavy
hair, long graceful legs all the way up. You know the kind... So he is
in his room and figures, what the hell, he gives her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. God she sounded sexy!

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my
room and give me one.
No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and
what I really want is sex.
I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky
the whole night long.
You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've
got in your bag of tricks.
We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, cover me in chocolate
syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that
sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic; But for an outside line you need to
press
9".

--The Bacon Tree--

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close
to death.
They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable,
when all of a sudden. ......

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet"
"Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee". So, with renewed strength,
they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a
tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back
bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.

"Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. "Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't
forget"
"Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon...ees
no
meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that ....Luis Races towards the tree. he gets to within 5
metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a
machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear
he is mortally wounded but. true friend that he is, he manages to
warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right ees not a bacon tree" "Luis Luis
mi amigo...what ees it? "Pepe...ees not a bacon tree..

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees

Eees a Ham Bush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and the young nun,

Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way
the
old nun had instructed

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's
nakedness

if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday
night
bath had gone.

"Oh sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved."
"Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.

"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash
him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his
legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."
"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to
Heaven
fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be
assured
salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to
Heaven into my lock."
"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to
salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell
my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."

"That wicked old bastard" said the old nun.
"He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~##

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning.

He told Bush that Three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone's amazement, all of the colour ran from Bush's face, then
he

collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost
whimpering.

Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld,

Just exactly how many is a Brazillion?"

Even if you didn't grow up Catholic, you'll appreciate this
one......

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing
how
important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When
he walks
into a room, everyone calls him "Father."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop.
Whenever
he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'"

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you
down, but
my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people
say 'Your
Eminence.'"

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The
first three
women give her this subtle "Well...?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2," hard bodied, well
hung,
Male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "My
God!"

A Woman's Poem

He didn't like the casserole

And he didn't like my cake.

My biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right

He didn't like the stew,

I didn't mend his socks

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked him...

Like his Mother used to do.

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
- Kin Hubbard

the number of posts from me so far!

The devils number - watch out!

I really didn't want that alarm to go off this morning. I have decided that dark mornings and I do not mix at all, roll on the beginning of spring.

It feels cold today. Ok the heating is on and it is hot indoors and I have a sore throat, but as I opened the door to let the dogs out I could feel the cold entering from outside, with icy fingers trying to find a hold. The door got closed sharply, don't even want to think about how cold it might be.

Could be worse we could have snow

Yesterday was spent trying to get the rest of the things Simon might need for his school trip. I say might, because he goes on Wednesday, yet we still haven't had a list of things he may need or what time he will be leaving school. So far everything has been done verbally which I personally do not think is good enough. He may be 15 and reasonably responsible but he still gets things wrong when he has to pass on information. So as best as I could I got most of his toiletry things, trying to get some washing done and dry so he has clean trousers to take, he now has walking boots and I know from past experience that he will need lots of warm jumpers! Cromer, at this time of year, is cold, especially when you are based at the top of a cliff and the weather forecast is predicting rain/snow for Wednesday and Friday. Must remember to tell him to pack some thermals as well then lol!

Right better go and see if children have managed to emerge from their beds and are sorting themselves out for school. I know full well that at least one of them is up but I bet he hasn't made it as far as the bathroom yet

Off I go!

Ok

Have a fancy dress party to go to and been routing through but can't seem to summon up enough enthusiasm.

Theme is SONG TITLES.

I don't want to spend any more money, with putting dogs in kennels and paying for hotel it already has gone over budget. However I do have this dress:

Any ideas?

Ok I have booked my holiday for August, well I think I have I am just waiting for confirmation.

I have made a few enquiries for B&B places to stay in Wales for my Uncles 60th in February.

I still have to see if the kennels are available.

I still have housework to do

I still have ironing to do.

Sitting in front of the computer is not getting these done but then again I wouldn't have made a booking for our hols if I hadn't, and i need to get away at some point this year.

Would have liked to have gone abroad, but that really isn't an option right now.

Staying in England, thought we may go to Devon for a change, discussion with hubby covered Lincolnshire, Norfolk/suffolk or Isle of Wight, Devon won. I wanted Norfolk but hey it is a holiday and there is nothing stopping me from booking up for a long weekend!

May half term sounds good.

In Australia there has currently been a long drawn out court case invoving a child in a case that has rocked the nation.

Basically it is a child cusotody case.

After several years together, the parents decide to divorce and are arguing over who will have custody of their child.

The father says the mother is an unfit parent and has produced numerous evidence of this, and says that he is the one that should be responsible for the childs welfare.

The Mother has produced evidence counter acting these claims and says that the father is unfit as a parent and that she should have sole claim on the child.

After several days of arguments, and counter arguments, the Judge, deciding he is getting no where fast, decides that the 8 year old child should decide who to go with, something that has never been heard off before in Australia's legal history.

The child stands before the Judge and asks the child who he wants to live with.

No one, the child replies.

Ok says the judge, Would you like to stay with your mother?

No says the child, she beats me, hits me hard, I have to work like a slave, I am not allowed to bring my friends home or play with my toys.

The Judge frowns and looks at the papers in front of him.

Hmm, he says, ok what about staying with your father?

No, says the child, He beats me with a stick. He drinks all day and smokes, then goes out with his mates till early in the morning, leaving me by myself. He never does any washing I have to do it, and when I got burnt he wouldn't let me go to the hospital, the child says showing the judge the burn mark on his arm.

The judge frowns.

Ok well it looks like we will have to let you go to your Grandparents.

The child, starts to cry. Please don't let me go there, my grandmother makes me clean her feet and if I don't she hits me across the head and does things to me that hurt.

By now the judge is worried. This is obviously the biggest child abuse case he has ever come across.

What about Aunts or Uncles? He asks the child patiently.

Your honour, says the lawyer, I think you will find two of the childs Uncles are in prison, one for murder the other for arson. An aunt is in a psychiatric ward and one has 14 children 10 of which are in care.

Ok says the judge, where would you like to go.

teh child thinks and says you decide judge.

So the judge goes away. He meets with lawyers, social services, child protection, child psychiatrists and discusses the issues and the problems of the case.

The meetings go on for hours and just when he thinks he is finished, he has to start over again.

Evenually, the judge appears in the courtroom. He has made a decision.

Child, he says in his most patient of voice, do not be afraid, I have come to a decision, one which I hope will be to your liking.

He smiles as he looks round the court.

I have decided that I am going to hand over custody of this child to the England cricket team, because it is obvious to me they cannot beat anything!!

Well the day has started well.

Son now has his walking boots for his trip to Kingswood in Cromer on Wednesday. Just hoping the weather will not be too bad for him, though 5 day forecast suggests it will rain, so he will get very wet and probably cold as well.

Having a conversation with my son today, he tells me that his English teacher is really beginning to get to him. Now I am not in the habit of moaning about teachers, they do a very good job in difficult circumstances at times, well some do anyway, but I can sense my son's frustrations.

Son is a bright child. He consistently is top of his classes/groups and in the top twenty of students in a school of 1100 children. His reports are always very good, so much so that his teacher usually struggles to set him reasonable targets on his review day. He finds things relatively easy and wants to learn.

So all this Dr. Who business is getting him down a little. Apparently even the classroom is decorated in posters of Dr. Who. The teacher's lessons revolve around Doctor Who. He told the children he is a "Good teacher who has been teaching for 15 years so I expect you to listen and not criticise".

Funny how when the previous teacher left, he got all the reports up to date and wished the students good luck, telling son that he wasn't really pleased who he was leaving the class to but there was nothing he could do. Son thought it couldn't be that bad and the teacher was over-reacting - how wrong he was!

Anyway now Son is a little annoyed. He feels he is getting no where and they should be studying something more appropriate and not all this. He has tried talking to others about it but is getting nowhere. I have said I will speak to the head teacher about it, though I think in this instance, as Nig is fed up with it all as well, I will let him do it - he is biting at the bit to have a moan!

Well sun is shining today. We have treated Son to a DVD rewriter for his computer, the software of which I have pinched for my one that came without so I can fiddle with it and then teach him what to do when his computer is up and working again. Nigel is fiddling with that at the moment, in between looking at electrical wiring for a couple of locals who are having a few problems.

We should be going out for a meal this evening, but we are undecided as to what and where to go so may cancel and spend the evening curled up on the sofa watching a DVD or two lol!

Anyway hope everyone is having a good day

so following on from my rant about English lesson yesterday the homework is:

Compare the Darleks from Doctor who to the Nazis.

Explain what similarities there are between Davros and Hitler.

All ideas below please

Guess what no1 son has been doing in English all week.

REading a good literary novel? No

Writing about a good literary novel? No

Discussing a good novel (at this poitn any novel at all)? No

Developing his writing and literary skills? No

Go on bet you can't guess.

He has been watching Tom Baker in Dr Who videos !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they wonder why the standard of English Education is falling.

I am not impressed!

How to clean the house

1. Open a new file in you PC

2. Name it "Housework"

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to
delete Housework permanently?"

6. Calmly answer "Yes", and press mouse button
firmly.....

7. Feel better?

Works for me!

Well Friday has arrived and all is calm outside after the winds yesterday. Oops spoke to soon can see the trees swaying outside thought it looks calmer than it was yesterday.

Fence is still standing, trees are still upright, car hasn't been smashed by flying roof tiles, garden just covered in rubbish from peoples bins, conservatory roof still on.

skies beginnings to brighten outside ready for the day to begin.

Lots going on today, wi, then off to my 6 weekly torture at the hairdressers - I hate having my head/hair touched hence why it is called torture!

I have a sore throat this morning, hope it doesn't develop into yet another cold. There are so many off work at the moment with colds or upset stomachs, perils of working with children - you would think we were immune to it by now wouldn't you lol

Both dogs fed and sleeping in their usual positions this morning. they will disappear upstairs soon to take their place in whatever bedroom is available so that they can view the outside world and no doubt laugh at the many people that walk past trying to get to work.

Thankfully I will not be one of them today

Upon waking today I could hear the wind howling outside the house, banging the fence that separates our garden from the field that borders the woods.

Then I thought I wonder how many people will be playing golf in this?

The only reason why I thought this was because it always amazes me that whatever the weather you will see golfers playing on the golf course not far from us. I have even seen them trying to play in the snow - don't these people have a life beyond the green? Lol

All joking aside it is dreadful here today with the wind. It wasn't so bad this morning but now it is so bad as I walked from the car to the school gates another mum (who was pushing a pushchair) and I had to hold onto each other as a gust of wind nearly took us off.

I usually don't pick the kids up on a Thursday. Simon walks from his school to his brothers to collect him for me and they walk home as I usually don't finish work until 3.30, but today because I knew it was getting bad I asked if I could leave 15 mins earlier, which thankfully they agreed to, so that I could collect them - I was worried about them walking home in this and as I said it nearly took me off!

Nigel has just text to say he had been wheel clamped in Islington. He is not happy, he parked where he should, and when he eventually got hold of the wheel clamping company they were very apologetic but apparently they had been told by the council to wheel clamp his following a complaint from another resident! He has been onto his company and told them to sort it out otherwise he will never be working in that area again - as it is the fitter who should have been there and has been there all week has said he will never go back there!

He is now trying to make his way home and hoping he doesn't run out of petrol as he is now out of money due to paying £65 fine to get wheel unclamped!

So I am waiting for a phonecall to tell me he is stuck somewhere and needs rescuing

Like i want to go out there again.

Surprised my fence is still standing, been attacked by a wheelie bin on the way home and the street's rubbish is in my garden which will please Nigel - not! Oh well better go and see if anyone wants some dinner

EDIT: Didn't have to go out afterall, hubby reached home on a wing and a prayer and amazed that he managed to get so far on so little petrol

Today has been a better day compared to yesterday.

Today I feel as thought I have achieved something, caught up with mayself and am a lot more organised.

Today there was no stress, no hassle, no twenty questions - in fact I was able to pass some good news onto someone and put a smile on their face which always makes me feel good

I had lunch with my lovely hubby earlier. He took the day off work so that he could sort out a few things with his van in anticipation of getting it through the dreaded MOT. So as it was his birthday we met up at the local pub at lunchtime and had a pub lunch. I had to leave him there though to finish his meal as I had to dash back to work, but it was nice just us two eating together for a change without the kids in tow - we should do it more often.

He has gone now to watch spurs play Cardiff and has taken his step-father, so I will be tucked up in bed by the time he gets home

It is still raining here, has been all day, not sure how much more we can cope with. Mild though even if the wind is picking up at times though it doesn't seem to be that bad - forecast is not good for the rest of the week but will deal with that when the time comes.

Son has announced that he needs walking boots for his trip next week - oh joy more money, don't think mine will fit him somehow and can't really order them off the internet as it is leaving it a bit late now.

Right enough rambling must go and get some tea on and feed my two children before they start going on about how starving they are

As I look out of the window, in the dark, I can hear the rain hitting the window pane.

Great, raining still.

And it isn't just a gentle pitter patter, it is the type that drenches you as you step outside the door - great fun not.

Keep thinking never mind it will soon start to get lighter, the weather will get better, but what if we have a wet spring/summer? I can't think of anything worse, I am fed up with it all!

Nigel is 45 today. I am going to take him for lunch at lunchtime then he is off to watch Spurs play Cardiff later so a quiet evening at home with the kids for me. We will celebrate his birthday as a family at the weekend, by going out for a meal, something we tend to do after all another year older, another year wiser, you survived another year therefore celebrate with a meal out lol!

Hoping for a better day today than yesterday. It was dreadful. One of the worst I have been through in a while. By the time I got home from work, meetings etc it was was 8.15 and I was shattered and hungry. A satisfying cucumber and pickled red cabbage roll satisfied the hunger pains (yeah who am I kidding I just couldn't be bothered to cook at that time)I decided to head off to bed where I spent the night tossing and turning while the days events went through my head, how I could have done things differently, would anyone notice the mess I made chairing the meeting, How rude was I to one person, how could I resolve it, what was I going to do and yet would it make a difference?

I know I am rambling here. To clear up I wasn't intentionally rude, just think what I did could be considered rude and really upshot is I shouldn't have chaired the meeting, I should have just sent in belated apologies and not gone - afterall I had forgotten about the other meeting I should have been at and didn't turn up to!

Ah well today is another day. There is nothing I can do about what has happened. I have sent an email apologising to the person I was unintentionally rude to, that is all I can do. Thoughts still going through head though and I feel so bad, but time moves on and it has been an experience I never want to repeat again.

Right now that I have bored you to tears, off I go now to get ready for work and attempt to face the pouring rain

Email from catalogue company today:

Feel like staying in and snuggling up?

Well duh! Of course, it is raining outside, it is dark, it is dark in the mornings what do you think?

Couldn't have come at a worse time after the day I have had where by the time I got home I really wished I hadn't bothered getting out of bed this morning!

Oh well tomorrow, as they say, is another day, it can only be better than todays!

It will be nice to wake up and see daylight instead of darkness outside. Ok the evenings are beginning to get a little longer and we don't have that long to wait until it brightens up in the morning, but at the moment I find getting out of bed so difficult in the dark!

So alarm went off this morning and again I was awake, so instead of lounging there I decided on a long shower to wake myself up properly. Long day ahead today and too much to do. Simon's friend is round after school, though I won't be home until a couple of hours later then I have a committe meeting up at the school - the madness has begun. Looks like dinner won't be till late!

Richard was up early this morning, he had homework to do which he is finishing off now - it was too long and stressful trying to get it all done yesterday which is why he is finishing it off today.

Right enough rambling, there is a bathroom that needs cleaning and a living room that needs a quick dust and a hoover, so better get on before I fly out of that door for work!

In the meantime this is what I will be doing before my meeting:

1. Remove ball from plastic packaging. (It is normal for balls to have slight creases or fold marks when first infalted) This caused a smirk and snort from hubby when I read this out, I knew from here on in it was going to be difficult to maintain order.

2. Allow ball to reach room temperature prior to inflation. This Yes he says, that is always a good idea or it goes into hiding if cold. (by this time eldest child is beginning to smirk)

3. Remove pump from plastic wrap. No really? Says hubby, But I always thought you should use protection (by this time both children have started giggling)

4. Attach the grey end of the pump hose to the blue nozzle at the base of the pump. At the oppostie end of the hose, attach the smaller of the two white adapters to the end of the hose - your foot pump is now ready for use. Ah he says, very kinky.

5. Insert the adapter into the hole and hold firmly with one hand. I do all the time, he says, by now eldest child is rolling on floor in laughter. Inflate ball until it is 80% of its maximum size

is that when I have to stop pumping? he says. It lasts longer then.

6. Let ball sit for one hour. After waiting the recommended time follow the instructions above to inflate ball to optimum size. Reinsert plug when complete and wrap measuring tape round balls circumference until the ends meet. Oh look it gets quite big, must try that one!

By this itme we are all in fits of laughter and rolling on floor and yes we are trying to inflate the fit ball that came with my core secrets kit. He then spent a happy half hour watching the video and trying to help me balance on it. then I go and make things worse by saying the following "it makes a difference having a bigger ball, the other one was far too small, I can feel it work now!"

Much hilarity in this house tonight!

So today started at 4am. Not that I got up at that time it was just that I was wide awake and no matter how much I plumped up the pillows, rearranged the duvet, tried in vain to find that cold piece of sheet to rest my legs on I couln't get back to sleep. So I laid there listening to the sounds of the house, you know the ones where you can hear the odd floor creak, the dogs move around trying to decide if it was worth waking us up to feed them yet or who's bed to lie on.

When the alarm went off, hour and half later, I was dozing, so being woken up by two men discussing money did not go down all that well. Nigel got up and headed for the bathroom, he needed to start early today and I laid there deciding if I should get up and do some exercise or lay in bed for another hour - getting up won.

Cup of tea and did my Pilates when postman knocked on the door, waking the kids up, to deliver my Core workout - brilliant! All I have to do is set it up and then I can do some tonight perhaps - though I really should do the ironing!

Peace broken by kids bickering, then once they were off to school I am able to relax for a while, have some breakfast, decide what to have for lunch and do some housework - well at least wipe the dust where it has settled. Should stick some washing on as well, though I may not get that far.

Working 11 till 2.30 today not that I am looking forward to it, but these things have to be done.

Mood wise, not feeling any better really, weather looks quite dismal and I am sure that affects how I feel

Anyway better get something done hadn't I

Whats your favourite sandwich filling?
Cucumber or Egg mayonaisse

Do you have any style icons?
Not really I just wear what I am comfortable in

What colours do you like to wear?
black, red, denim sometimes white

What do you like most about yourself?
My personality

Do you keep your armpit hair?
No who would?

If someone hot asked to see you naked for £200, would you show them your assets?
No

How long is your hair?
Shoulder length

Which family member do you look like most?
Don't know

How long do you spend in the bathroom?
Not very long

Do you walk around your house naked?
No even when it is empty I can't bring myself to see my belly wobbling aroung loose!

Do you dance around your bedroom in your underwear?
No

What part of guys do you like the least?
The fact that some of them can be patronising (only some not all)

What part of guys do you like the most?
Nice smile and sense of humour

Describe your figure:
fat

Describe your ideal man:
Someone who cares, has a sense of humour and treats me well

What would be one of the things important to you in a relationship?
Honesty.

Would you do topless modelling?
no I hate my figure so why would I do that

What celebrities do you think are hot?
Johnny Depp, Jon bon Jovi

If you could look like any celebrity, who would you look like?
NOne of them

Green apples or red apples?
Neither not a fan of apples

Lights on or off?
Off Unless I am stitching
What annoys your friends about you?
No idea they have never said

What are you thinking right now?
Why am I doing this I should be making sure Richard has a shower tonight

Do you like children?
yes

Has your love life been good or bad?
Good for the most part

What was the last alcohol you drank?
Rum and peppermint

Are you scared of commitment?
I'm married so hardly scared

Have you ever thought about working in the movie business?
No

Who would be your love interest in a movie?
Happy to admire from afar

If you were in a band, what position would you take on?
Mybe the drums realease all that tension!

You can take 6 musicians for your band, who would you pick?
no idea

What would your music videos be like?
Again no idea I like so many

Has your family ever walked in on you while you were naked/in your underwear?
yes

What’s your favourite dessert?
Trifle

What was your last most hilarious thought?
Can't remember really

Have any of your dreams ever come true?
Yes

1. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
Thursday (mmm must remember to do them again)

2. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Drinking a mug of delicious hot tea, the first one is always the best of the day

3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Eating dinner

4. Are you any good at maths?
Not really, I am probably better than I think I am, I just panic when faced with numbers!

5. Do you have any famous ancestors?
NO not as far as I know

6. Are you mad at anyone right now?
No just myself

7. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
Yes

8. Last thing received in the mail?
Parcel from Amazon with Nigels birthday present in

9. How many different drinks have you had today?
Tea, rum and peppermint

10. Who do you miss right now?
My grandad

11. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?
I try not to

12. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
UB40 - I took my sister as she was a big fan so paid for her to see them as her Christmas present

13. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Yes

14. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
A root canal being done, never again!

15. What is out your back door?
My garden

16. Do you have plans for friday night?
No

17. Do you like the ocean?
Yes

18. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns for xmas?
No,

19. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes and was proposed to there as well, it was very romantic

20. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Being 10 years older

21. Who around you has the most problems?
Everyone has problems, I am not sure I am qualified to say who has the most problems.

22. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
No

23. Explain your love life at this moment?
I am in love with my hubby

24. Where do you keep your change?
In a very large bottle

25. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?
About a year ago, talking to parents whose children were just starting school

I can't explain how I have felt over the last couple of days. Almost as if a black cloud has descended above me and I have no reason why.

Well I sort of know but that is another story.

Yesterday, woke up as usual, let dogs out, made a cup of tea, went back to bed. It was like I just couldn't be bothered, I didn't want to face the world. I feel fat, I feel ugly, I feel like the lowest of the low, I just didn't want to face another day of being happy around people, or of people expecting me to be happy, cheerful self, just wanted to scream and cry inside.

Hubby did his usual, how wonderful I am, How beautiful I am, how I am not fat (sorry 15 stone on me looks fat), no your clothes look gorgeous, etc etc etc.

Didn't help

I just wanted to cry.

So as only hubby can he then tells me we are going shopping.

i don't want to go shopping didn't you hear what I was telling you early!

Yes it is Saturday, we always go to the shops

I want a change I don't want to go, anyway I went yesterday (friday)

He wasn't having any of this though, he drags me to Watford shopping.

Ok so we are at the shops, youngest in tow, eldest at home supervising the dogs and doing his English homework (ha). Decide to buy a new purse, my one is falling apart. Find one in a bag shop, feeling better already especially as it is reduced from £16 to £6.50 - what a result.

So visit another bag shop, as I have decided I want to buy a new handbag.

So we are browsing, hubby saying this is nice, what about this etc etc. Now I have to explain here, I normally go for plain black leather - very boring, but hey it works for me, just big enough for the essentials something along the lines of this

But a couple of weeks ago, while browsing in town I saw someone carrying a Kipling bag and have to admit I decided I wanted on. Now I have seen them from time to time on Qvc, not that I watch the channel on a regular basis, but those of you that know I am passionate about Pilates and tend to buy gear from QVC related to Pilates. Anyway whil waiting for one such programme to come on I saw the Kipling bag show, but you can never tell if it is what you want until you see it in the flesh so to speak.

In this shop was the hugest selection of Kipling bags I have ever seen, so I spent a happy 20 mins deciding which of them I liked and what colours. Then saw the prices and thought better not. So we came away, browsed some more, had lunch and after a fruitless two hours looking in one shop after another I announced to hubby that I wanted a Kipling bag. "Whatever you want my dear".

Not asking him to pay for it though as I had some money left over from Christmas still and some in my account to make up the difference to we went back to the shop to decide which one I wanted.

i settled on this in the end

Best thing about it, it has lots of pockets in to store things and I can use it for work as well as everyday, I can get my diary into it as well as all my other work bits and pieces I carry with me (pens, etc).

so felt a little better after our shopping trip, sat and watched a couple of DVDs when we got home - Brothers Grimm and Santa Claus - then watched a couple of music channels.

This morning I felt a little better though still low but have spent the best part of the day play Castlevania on Simon's DSlite, which has been fun, well until the battery died on me, now I have to wait for Simon to charge it

So that is me. Hope everyone else has had a far more productive and happier weekend

This is good pop over and take a look!

http://home.uchicago.edu/~yli5/Flash/Fire.html

There is nothing to see

There is nothing to say

I am all dried up.

Didn't lose a thing at WI not surprising but it would still have been nice.

In a funny mood, not sure why.

Will be back on form Tomorrow

Hugs x

Peeling some spuds for dinner phone rings.

"Darling can you go to my diary and check the back of it please" says hubby when I eventually pick up the phone.

"Ok what am I looking for?" says I

"Just tell me what is written on the last page" he says.

Ok so here goes, a lot of numbers with £ signs in front of them (don't get excited not that much unfortunately) and a couple of notes about 2 and 3 bedroom houses.

"Are you moving out" I ask sweetly afterall I need to know when to pack his bags for him don't I, I don't want him to leave anything behind.

"No, that is just a rough idea of what I have to charge to rewire them" he says. "thanks I will be home soon"

Peace will be shattered then, thanks for letting me know.

1. What would be your first act as ruler?

Tell people they couldn't work more than 36 hours in any one week, go out and enjoy yourself, live life, have fun. Also only allow a 4 day working week, working on Mondays banned.

2. Who would you banish?

Rude ignorant people, children who have no manners.

3. Who would you give a knighthood to?

People that actually deserved having one like ones that had done something for charity or helped others NEVER footballers, cricketers etc

4. Where would you build your palace?

On an island somewhere, where wildlife were allowed to live without fear of being endangered

5. Who would you put in the Tower of London?

Pedophiles and forget about them so they rotted away (I am not cruel where did you get that idea from )

6. What law would you abolish?

All those ones that mean that victims are penalised against while the persecutor gets away scott free

7. What law would you introduce?

Allowed to protect your property from someon attacking it without fear of prosecution.

8. What building would you have demolished?

No. 10 Downing street, we don't need it I am in charge and yes hormones are kicking in lol

Finally sorted out Nigels MP3 player and got some music loaded on it for him. If I have to listen to OMD one more time whilst trying to get it loaded I will scream! Mind you brought back a few memories

Anyway found out what the problem was, by playing with WMP it seemed that something had a tick against it and it was affecting the CDs that I put on it from downloading onto anything else. Amazing what you can find out by trial and error - which is how I usually find things

Vowed to be good food wise today instead I find I have eaten more bread than I should have done Not good especially with WI tomorrow morning. It will not look good.

Ah well onwards and upwards as they say, tomorrow is another day.

The nice thing about trying to get various tracks to play is the amount I have rediscovered. Eldest son is very much into Metallica now and has had me trying to find tracks that I have forgotten about. It is all very well having them on LPs but not much good if you need to transfer them via the computer. Ok we have inveted in a turntable now, but due to lack of funds could not get a USB one which was so much more expensive and I am probably one of the few ppl who doesn't use Ebay for these things. One day I will venture forth, but in the meantime I will sit here and try and download (legally of course) tracks that I need. At the moment I have James Morrison playing in the background (yes go from one style to another) while I browse for more

Eldest has just walked through the door, better go and welcome him with open arms

Oh my it is sooooooo windy out there! Got up this morning one dog refused to go out the other reluctantly went into the garden but was so quick. To be honest standing watching him trying to do his business and keep his balance in the wind was so funny bless him (not that I usually stand and watch but he is a greyhound and I had to check there were no cats in the garden he has a tendency to kill them).

It is still dark here and doesn't look like it will be a good day. Praying that conservatory roof survives, it sounds like it will come off everytime a gush of wind catches it.

One child not at school today so I am going to have to take the day off. Major nose bleed in the night, not a trickle either, blood everywhere, so want to keep him off to keep an eye on him. Says he also has a headache though that could be due to lack of sleep. This is his third nosebleed in the month, and am going to try and get an appointment for him. Also he has the Orthodontist today as well, so should be fun

Tried until the wee hours of this morning to get music loaded onto Nigels MP3 player but it isn't playing it. Think it may be due to som of the CDs he gave me to get music from even though I put them on Windows player to then sync onto him MP3 player, when they are on his MP3 player you can't here anything. Hmmm he has a birthday coming up perhaps I will invest in a new one for him I have no problems with my one at all, downloads music easily enough and plays back, trust it to be Nigels one

Oh well better get a move on a make a few phonecalls. Stick my sons sheets in the washing machine, they have been in soak to get the blood out.

Right see you later!

forget Anthea Turner.

Forget Nigella Lawson.

I am the wonderful one

I am the one who multitasks

I am the one that does it all

Today eldest asks me to load some music onto his mp3 player. Easy you would think, but no.

Why?

Because the songs he want are Metallica, and are from albums that I do not have (yet). So spent a couple of happy hours tracking them down and downloading. Updated his Mp3 player with songs for him. Sorted out a few tracks for myself hen Nigel asked me to load some onto his MP3 player (he has my old one).

While doing this I have done two lots of washing, answered a couple of important e mails and cooked, served and eaten a pasta bolognaise which everyone complained there was not enough of (they liked it so much they went back for seconds). Oh and I also hoovered living room floor

Still sitting here updating MP3 players though, now got an album being Ripped onto media player ready to add to Nigels collection

Who needs Anthea Turner after all

Wednesday has arrived, dark outside, but can see a few stars in the sky which suggests that it is reasonably clear out there.

Not set foot outside yet but as I sit here in a short sleeved t-shirt trying to decide whether to do some Pilates or not, I can feel it is very mild as I am very hot!

Full day ahead again for me today. Should be fun as I feel so tired, probably due to overeating yesterday. I feel a bit better than I did yesterday as well so that is a bonus lol

Right not much news so better go and get myself sorted.

Have a good day

Brilliant and says it all really!

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life
In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe that
There's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here

Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

See the truth all around
Our faith can be broken
And our hands can be bound
But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
Yeah, is it not worth the risk?

Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
Cause these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

We can't go on
Thinking it's wrong
To speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Can we get it right?
Yeah, well can we get it right?

Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
Because these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

A guy gets on a plane and finds
himself seated next to a cute blonde. He
immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he

says,
"I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your
fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and
says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know,"says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," says the blonde."That could be an interesting topic. But let

me
ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the
same stuff, grass.
Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a
flat
patty,
and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose
that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the
slightest
idea." "So tell me," says the blonde,"How is it that you feel
qualified to discuss
nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

The Preacher explains that he must move on to a larger
congregation
that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to

leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city,
stands

up
and proclaims: "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him
with
a
new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to
transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands
and

says:
"If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his
salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college
education of all his children!" More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the
preacher stays, I will give him sex."

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed
you to say that?"

Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide,
holding

his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from
side

to
side while his wife replies:

"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he
said,......
"Screw the preacher!"

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to
his
place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one
wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy
bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and
hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering
the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange
them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had
put into organizing the display.There were small bears all along the
bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle
shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top
shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a
large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and
actually is
quite impressed by his sensitive side.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while,
she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the
one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?"

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds
warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically
lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip
off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so
overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more
heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive
guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls
over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?" The
guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her
eyes, and says...........................................

"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and
staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.

But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty
inches.

Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and
even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple
that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through
corrective surgery.

"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.

"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised
doctor.

"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs,
aren't
you?

Why, Why, Why *
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
dead?
**

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough money? **

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but
check when you say the paint is wet? **

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? **

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? **

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? **

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a
revolver at him? **

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? **

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? **

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.*

~TWENTY DOLLARS~

On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new
husband and asked for $20.00 for their first
lovemaking encounter. In
his highly aroused state, her husband readily
agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for more
than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to
afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find
her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer
was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had
been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and
therefore, they
were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than thirty
years of steady deposits and interest totaling
nearly$1 million. Then she
showed him certificates of deposits issued
by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
and informed him that they
were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that
for the more than
three decades she had "charged" him for sex,
these holdings had multiplied
and these were the
results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3
million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but
finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If
I'd had any idea what you
were doing, I would have given you all my
business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
to keep their mouths shut.

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that
they

learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,"
she

asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God
would
get
mad. Who do you want to give a Valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl
could

have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think
that

maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little
bit."

"And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama,
he'd
love
everyone alot."

"And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how
much
he
loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new
found

pride.

"Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard," he
says.

"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open,
the

Marines could shoot the f * cker."

Quick striptease for busy ladies

Nicked from Kizlode

WRATH

1. Who did you last get angry with?
My youngest son for swearing

2. What is your weapon of choice?
Sarcasm

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
No

4. How about of the same sex?
No

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
No one really as far as I know

6. What is your pet peeve?
Arrogance

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I tend to let them go

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you don't?
Exercise.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
12lunch time

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
I didn't see it

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
Yes only because I didn't want to miss the programme that was going to start after it

6. When was the last time you got in a good workout?
Can't remember

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
I didn't I just groaned

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Cappucino

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat??
Dark

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Lost count after 5, remember being very ill the next day though

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
Just Weight Watchers

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
Yes

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy?
Spicy

7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought "lunch"?
No.

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family):
3

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family):
2

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the opposite gender during a normal conversation?
No

4. Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
No

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
face, eyes, smile

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?
One, that is one too many

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Book shop

3. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Rich.

4. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
No

5. Have you ever stolen anything?
No

6. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
No idea

PRIDE

1. What's one thing you have done that you're most proud of?
Giving birth to two wonderful children (even had to have help with that!)

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
Don't know

3. What things would you like to accomplish in your life?
To be healthy and happy and see my kids grow up

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Not really as I almost always come last

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
No.

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
No

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
Nothing as far as I can remember

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Nothing

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
No one

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
No one I like being me.......sometimes lol!

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
NO not as far as I am aware anyway

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Yes

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Self confidence

THE 6 BEST SMART AR$E ANSWERS OF 2006*

*SMART ANSWER NO.6*

It was mealtime during a flight on a popular Airline. "Would you like
dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated

in front. "What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

*SMART ANSWER NO.5*

Another flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand

for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your

ticket not your stub."

*SMART ANSWER NO.4*

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

*SMART ANSWER NO.3*

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all

day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.

*SMART ANSWER NO.2*

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the

bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars
are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and

says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

*SMART ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006*

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being

here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate

family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering

from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced
to
laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess

you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

How behind my son is.

He was asked to write a few lines of a story using text messaging.

He didn't understand.

He came home and said he just sat there in class wondering what the hell the teacher was talking about.

Had to explain it was the abbreviations ppl used when they were texting someone by phone or on instant message.

He looked at me blankly.

So I showed him a couple of examples.

"How did you know that?" He asked in amazement

"Picked it up from friends or from kids at school" says I. " a lot of it is common sense"

"Really? Then why don't I understand it?" He asks

No idea son. He is 15 he should know, all the other kids do.

Too many brain cells in his head definately

It has felt like a very long and stressful day.

ok the stress hasn't been half as bad as it usually is, but when you don't want to be somewhere and you have to be there then it doesn't help matters much.

Especially when a passing comment you make in all innocence, upsets someone who is in a vulnerable place right now.

Fortunately it is all sorted now, apologies have been said, hugs exchanged, but doesn't make me feel any better in fact it makes me feel like the worst human being on Earth.

And why beat myself up over it.

Because I hate upsetting people. pure and simple and because the person concerned didn't need me sniping at her when she is feeling so low.

But the past is past and it is time to move on and start afresh.

Came home to a mess, kids have been home before me and all hell has let loose. Nigel is picking them up something to eat on the way home from their Wing Chung class as I have not long been in and not been able to cook anything before they go. Honestly you would think that they could have cooked themselves something before hand but that seems to be impossible, they were waiting for me.

My longest day.

The day when I am late home.

Hmm.

So i now have the house to myself, I should do some exercise but don't feel like it, I feel fat, I feel lazy I cannot be bothered to move.

Dieting gone out of the window last couple of days don't seem to control all those voices in my head.

Right off I am going before I upset anyone else

I am so tired this morning, yet I was wide awake at 4.

Typical

Full day today, plus counselling this evening with my group so won't be home until after 5.30 which makes it a very long day. Great fun.

Woke to the news that you can sign up to MI5 website and get an email telling yout he state of the terrorist alert. Problem is won't people panic a little bit? Is knowing whether it is high or low a good or bad thing? What if it is critical, and nothing happens, will that cause complacency?

Just some thoughts running through head when I heard it, decided I won't sign up, not that I am paranoid or anything but the thought of MI5 having my email address is enough to put me off.

Big brother is watching, don't give them any ammunition or something like that.

I know this post is a little off beat for me particularly on a Tuesday, not feeling my usual cheerful self.

Oh well better go and make another cuppa to greet the day with

Have a good day.

I could have easily thrown that alarm clock out of the window this morning. Although I slept I feel as though I haven't and wasn't impressed when the radio came on announcing it was 5.30. Nigel laid there contemplating whether he should get up straightaway or lay in bed for another half an hour, then decided to get up and make a lot of noise about it.

6am, decided to put in an appearance downstairs where I could hear him making tea, and toasting himself some bread. Went to sit up in bed - ouch, that hurt, back still no better. Put foot to the floor and felt the calf muscle tear again.

ouch

To say I am falling apart is an understatement. I am really fed up with it now.

Hobbling around downstairs, more like a woman of 90 rather than 40, no point agravating it anymore by trying to do any exercise, sat here nursing my cuppa and contemplating the day ahead.

Need to go to the shops to do the weeks shopping as didn't have time over the weekend. Start work at 11 today and finish at 2.30 which isn't too bad, can cope with that hopefully. Pick up son from school and try and attempt to do some exercise before tea, hopefully leg will feel better by then - here's hoping anyway!

Oh well better get a move on and drag the kids out of their beds, spoil my peace and quiet for the day

Have a good day everyone what ever you do

Just for a change. Afterall we haven't had any rain here for all of 3 hours, garden must need it by now lol!

To be honest I am getting fed up with it all now, and the forecast says that it will be getting worse with storms hitting Britain during the week and flooding.

Nothing new there then.

Just spent a couple of hours looking for places to stay in Aberystwyth. My uncle is having a 60th birthday party in February, unfortunately valentines weekend, and we need to find somewhere to stay if we go. It isn't fair to expect my aunt and uncle to put us up, they will have a housefull with their son and his family as well as their other son.

It will be quite a busy month for us. A friend will be 40 this year and is having a party - unfortunately on the same day that my uncle will have his so I won't be able to go to hers unless I can't find anywhere to stay. A friend of Nigels is having a 50th birthday party the week before that one, and I have been invited to spend some time with another friend in London, though as yet it is undecided if I shall go or not, things are up in the air about that one.

Later in the year another friend has invited us to her daughters marriage so need to lose weight for that, though if ppl keep buying me chocolate there will not be much hope of that.

I feel as though I have a lump in my throat when I swallow. Hope it is nothing.

Right am off to watch the rest of Narnia before I retire to bedski!

Have a good evening

Apples & Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are
afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the
apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the
top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're
amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one
who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up
to women to stomp the sh*t out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with.

Share this with all the good apples you know.

A mother is driving her 7 year-old daughter to her friend's house for a play date when the little girl asks "Mommy," how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replies sweetly. "It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, a bit less sweetly. "Those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That's enough questions, young lady, honestly!" mom says as her daughter is getting out of the car.

The exasperated mother drives away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly,
"I know why you and daddy got a divorce."
Now mom's getting mad. She says, "Oh really? And just why is that, young lady?"

"Because you got an F in sex."

Lazy morning laying in bed watching Nigel play Resident Evil 4 and swear at Leon who wasn't doing what he should be doing (or something!)

Breakfast in bed with a cup of tea which was nice.

managed to tear myself away from the bed to get showered then thought I had better fulfill my promise to son and take him into town to get him a new phone.

Fortunately my eldest is quite cheap. He isn't into designer gear, he is not into the latest models. He wants a phone, one that he can send texts from, one that he can use in emergencies, one that is very basic indeed. No camera, no internet access, no bluetooth. He had even found the phone he wanted an Alcatel

Not sure if it is good or not but he is happy and it will serve his needs and a bargain at £29.99 as well

Came home and checked messages. Someone keeps sending me jokes, yet I have no idea who they are from. I know it isn't from anyone on my 'friends' list, neither from anyone that I know, so obviously they have the wrong email address, but they are quite funny! Will try and post some later.

now relaxing with a cup of tea. A friend has leant me her Tens machine for my back in the hope it will help. not at the moment but we will persevere!

Yesterday, I retired to bed early as I was in pain with my back (again!)

Said goodnight to hubby, said goodnight to son who was playing on his PS2 in his room.

Got ready for bed, climbed in under the duvet and after ten minutes realised that I wasn't going to get comfortable, I was in too much pain.

So then decided I needed my hot wheat wrap. This it the fabric type with wheat inside that you heat up in the microwave.

So I spend 10 mins, searching for it (youngest used it last time), then crept downstairs in nightie to put it in microwave.

Son is now sitting downstairs with his father as I padded across living room floor to the kitchen I hear son shout

"Mother put some clothes on for Christ's sake!"

Ooop forgot nightie is quite short and thin

he was scarlet poor thing

Full First Name: Samantha

Middle Name: Jane

Birthday: 25th April

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Mouse brown with blonde highlights

Fav color: Red and Black

Day/Night: Day

Fav Food: Lasagne

FRIENDS AND LIFE

Do you ever wish you had another name? No

Do you like anyone? Yes of course

Which one of your friends acts the most like you? None really I am one of a kind

Who's the loudest? Me

Who have you known the longest of your close friends? Sue

Who's the shyest? Sue

Are you close to any family members? Not really

When you cried the most? August

What's the best feeling in the world? Being loved by hubby and kids

What's the worst feeling? Loneliness

FINISH EACH SENTENCE:

Let's walk on the: sand

Let's run through: the woods

Let's look at the: Stars

What a nice: Day

Where did all the: Years Go

Why can't you: be nice

Silly, little: billy

Tell me: how you feel

HAVE YOU:

Ran away from home? No, just tried to but kept getting caught!

Pictured your crush naked? Yes

Skipped school? No

Broken someone's heart? Don't know no one has said so

Been in love? Yes

Cried when someone died? Yes

Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have? yes years ago

Done something embarrassing? Probably

Done a drug? no

Cried in school? No

RANDOM

Your Good Luck Charm: I don't have one I just have faith

Person You Hate Most: No one

Best Thing That Has Ever Happened To You: Meeting and marrying my hubby

Fav Ice Cream: Raspberry ripple

Who Makes you laugh the most? Hubby

Who makes you smile? friends, hubby and children

Has A Crush On You? No one that I know of

Do You Have A Crush On Someone? Just hubby

HAVE YOU EVER

Fallen for your best friend? Yes

Made out with JUST a friend? Yes

Kissed two people in the same day? Yes

Had sex with two different people in the same day?No

Been rejected? No

Been in love? Yes

Been used? Yes

Done something you regret? No regrets are time consumming, everything is done for a purpose, Life is too short for regrets

Cheated on someone? Yes but he deserved it the bastard

Been called a tease? Yes too many times

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

You touched? Nigel

You talked to on the phone? My son

You hugged? Nigel

You instant messaged? No One

You kissed? Nigel

You yelled at? Nigel

Who text messaged you? mum

Who broke your heart? No one I probably did theirs and they haven't told me

Who told you they loved you? Nigel

Well we got there safe and sound despite the torrential rain and a motorway full of total idiots - if the sign says 40, it says 40 for a reason so why do some idiots decide you are going too slow, overtake and speed off down the road tooting anyone who gets in their way? Oh and the driver who is coming onto the motorway, torrential rain, lorries making things worse splashing on the road, so the idiot goes straight onto the fast lane nearly causing a pile up in the process.

But as I said we got there safely. Nigel did the test job he needed to do, got paid, gave me what he promised me and off to Bluewater we set.

First time ever I have been there and Wow it is big.

After taking three hours to walk round the top and bottom decided far too big for me. Lots of designer shops selling total rubbish in the sales, even my favourite shops were bad at what they were selling. Normally I don't do sales, this was a one off. Very nice place and easy to get in and out off though.

Lovely dinner in TGI Fridays, Just checked points values for what I had and am in points

So Three hours walking round in and out of shops and what did I get.

No shoes

No handbag

No Red dress

No black dress

No boots

No stockings

All of which I had on my list that I would look out for.

didn't find any of them.

Did buy some underwear though. Hubby commented "What more, there is no room in your underwear drawer for any more"

But a girl can never have enough underwear in my opinion. After all we need all sorts to go under those outfits we have in our wardrobe

How to embarrass your son

Show him what you bought at the shops

Well he did ask me what I got and anyway I am in a mischevious mood!

So there we are, a great day out shopping and coming home with money for once as well

Have to get some sleep tonight if I am going to do that dreaded drive to south London

My hubby and his great ideas!

Still I get some money off him to go spending with, at Bluewater after he has finished the job that he needs to test tomorrow, and I have never been ther, so I will just close eyes and go for it!!!

Stay off the roads! I am a very confident driver until I hit London then panic takes over

you have been warned!

Nite allxx

Who was the last person...

1. You hung out with?: Nigel and my son right now

2. Rode in a car with?: Richard on the way to school yesterday

3. Went to the movies with?: Nigel and the boys (to see over the hedge)

4. Went to the mall with?: Nigel last Friday

5. You talked on the phone to?: My friend down the road

6. Made you laugh?: Nigel just now -not going to say what he was trying to do

Would you rather...

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?: Neither, I fainted when I had my ears done and was very ill after the c section lol!

2. Be serious or be funny?: Funny

3. Drink whole or skimmed milk?: To drink? Whole to drink, skimmed in tea and on cereal

4. Die in a fire or get shot?: Shot hopefully it is quicker

5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?: Parent

Random questions

1. Do you like anyone?: Yes everyone I am friends with and on my friends list

2. Sun or moon?: Sun (have to agree with Smichen here summer can't come quick enough)

3. Winter or Autumn?: Neither prefer spring and summer

4. Left or right?: Right.

5. 10 acquaintances or two best friends?: Two best friends

6. Sunny or rainy?: Sunny

About you...

1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: Shovel it in or better still just cook pasta shapes, it is easier!

2. Have you ever eaten spam?: Disgusting stuff, but yes when I was younger

3. Favourite ice cream?: Raspberry ripple

4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?: Weetabix, Malties, Crunchy nut, cornflakes, simply oats, puffed rice ummm 6

5. Do you cook?: Yes

6. Current mood?: bored

In the last 48 hours have you...

1. Kissed someone: Yes hubby

2. Sang?: In the shower this morning then along to snow patrol and the calling later in the day!

3. Been hugged?: Yes several times

4. Felt stupid?: Quite often

5. Missed someone?: No

6. Danced crazy?: Yes do that quite often

8. Gotten your hair cut?: No though appointment is looming!

9. Cried?: No.

10. Lied?: No

Stuff...

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?: No though I have been stopped a couple of times for silly reasons but we all have a job to do

2. Do you have a dog?: 2 dogs, 2 finches, 1 canary, several fish

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?: Never been

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?: Sleep with hubby otherwise alone

5. Do you believe in ghosts?: Yes I see them sometimes

6. Do you consider yourself creative?: No though I am musical and can cross stitch

One day a 12 year old boy was walking down the street when a car
pulled

up beside him and the window was wound down.

"I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car", said the
driver. "No way, get stuffed", replied the boy.

"How about a bag of lollies and £10?" asked the driver. "I said no
way", replied the irritated youngster. "What about a bag of juicy
lollies and FIFTY QUID eh?", quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly

to keep up with the walking boy. "No, I'm not getting in the fricken

car!" answered the boy.

"Okay, okay, I know what you want. I'll give you £100 and a bag of
lollies", the driver offered. "NO!", screamed the boy. "What will it

take to get you in the car?" Asked the driver with a long sigh.

The boy replied, "Listen Dad, you bought the Skoda, you live with
it...!!!!!!!!

This is the fairy tale that we should have been reading as little
girls!

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured

princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological
issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near
her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said

Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast
a
spell

upon me.

One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper,
young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up
housekeeping in
your
castle with my mother, where you can satisfy my needs, prepare and
serve my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel
grateful
and
happy doing so.

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauted frog
legs

seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and
thought to herself:

I DON'T F! **ING THINK SO!!!!!

The "Why"s of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE
EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and
they
vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails
parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final
copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT
DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And the personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
And laughter in your heart...Then you are just an
old
sour fart

Very funny!

Well did go to WI, wasn't a new leader, the old one was there, but we cleared the air and I hae rejoined. In fact in fairness to her, she was quite funny!!

Went into town straight afterwards, then had lunch and tried to get on here.

Surprise surprise, couldn't due to maintenance.

Hope whatever was the problem is now sorted!

My back has been very painful today, in fact it has been so bad my legs don't seem to want to move at times. Going to lay over my fit ball after dinner to see if that eases it at all.

Richard has gone to an impromtu birthday party of a friend of his down the road, so one less child to feed this evening. I have made shepherds pie as well!

Ah well never mind plenty left over for tomorrow then

I feel shattered.

A night consisting of bad dreams and feeling sick.

Upset tummy this morning and still feeling like I want to hurl, I manage to have a cup of tea which has settled tummy a little bit.

typical one day back at school and I am already catching whatever is going round!

Am going to WI this morning if I can find my card which seems to have disappeared I know it is not going to be good news, I expect that but as Nig said in his usual supportive way, it gives me a starting point to work from. I am determined to do this, I just need the will power to keep going!

Have to go into town as well todayand do the usual business of changing money over a pay a few bills. January seems to bring along all the bills you don't want as well as the junk mail trying to sell you something or other!

It is pitch black outside. It feels mild, so much so I had to turn the heating off this morning as I was too warm. I am hoping to get a picture of the foxes frollicking in the field by the side of the house, they have been there every morning but too far away to get a decent photo! It is nice seeing them though they torment our dogs by coming too close to the fence. The deer should be around soon, poking out and exploring with their young.

Ok so I am not in the countryside, but it is nice to know that 5 mins in the car and I am there. We are on the edge of a town and fortunate enough to live near well managed woods. They are small but good to walk through in the summer, very muddy in winter though as most woods are

Oh well better go and see if I can find this card

Just out of interest does anyone use Mozilla Firefox instead of Internet Explorer 6/7?

After having problems logging onto Blogland through Explorer I downloaded Firefox and so far so good seems to be working a lot quicker in loading pages etc. Just wanted to know your thoughts/experiences of it.

Thanks in advance.

Nig and I watching this film and laughing so hard.

for something I didn't fancy it has turned out to be quite funny!!

But this was sent to me by email and thought I would share it as it is very funny!

Enjoy!

Dolly dagger passed this on

1. I am...in front of the computer (again!)
2. I will...be watching telly while sewing when I have finished
3. I want...a holiday to get over christmas
4. I see...two dogs who are stretched out over the living room floor
5. I need...another glass of wine!

I nominate:

Smichen
Cartlionel
Lola-J
lovelifes chocolate
menopausal mama

Well today was ok really.

Found out my timetable has changed yet again, as the kids will now be going swimming on a monday Morning and I am not needed so don't have to start until 11, which means to have Friday off I have to fit in the rest of my hours on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday so they will be pretty full days. Not much chance of walking to work then - ah well best laid plans and all that.

Just eaten a Pizza Nigel ordered. Decided to treat ourselves then start afresh dieting as from tomorrow when I weigh in.

Nigel appointment went ok. Turns out he has a strained muscle - so feeling relieved. He says doctor must have been bored as he gave him a full medical, though think it must have been due to the fact that they probably cannot believe his notes consist of about 1/4 of a side of paper! They have to justify he exists lol!

Now relaxing catching up on some gossip with friends online while watching a film on TCM. Off to fill out some paperwork in a minute and then do some sewing, or maybe some pilates can't quite make up my mind Either way Nigel and the boys will be home from their Martial Arts class later so best make the most of the peace and quiet for now

Well that is it then.

It is all over.

Back to work today though why I am complaining I don't know as I am only in for one day

On the other hand, it would have been nice to have had the rest of this week off, uniforms only being worn for a couple of days is a waste of time in my opinion, better to start the week off with a Monday and I am sure that that could have been achieved.

Ah well.

Must admit waiting for the alarm to go off this morning was a bit of a pain, but I didn't sleep very well at all last night. Remember at one point dreaming about elephants - note to self don't watch Ong-Bak and Warrior King before you go to bed!

Back is hurting this morning as well, don't feel hungry so don't feel like breakfast, but will have to eat something as I am going to have to take my tablets (which I don't take that often) to help with the back pain (got beyond the point where I can ignore it).

Isn't life great!

Oh well better go and make sure the kids are getting themselves sorted

Have a good day everyone!

Just got one of those lovely emails from one of the shopping sites that tend to send you emails when you least want them.

This one made me smile.

"Mrs ....... if you spend £30 with us you get £2.50 off"

Don't think I will bother. Need a lot more off to tempt me

"Nige, those sweatshirts on the bed are yours can you put them away please?"

Be honest now.

Did any of you read that as "Nige pick up those sweatshirts, screw them up and throw them onto an untidy heap on the floor?"

Lay on the sofa yesterday watching This life ten years on. Very funny in parts and good to see how the characters had developed. It was one of our most watched programmes when it was on 10 years ago, not everyones cup of tea I admit but we liked it.

Then laid in bed talking to hubby until the early hours of the morning. We were want to go back to Florida at some stage with the kids. They loved it there last time and I thought it would be ideal to go when Simon leaves school, to celebrate, next year. Probably will be the last holiday we will all have together so it seems fitting to go to the place where we had so much fun a couple of years ago. Then we thought about perhaps saving to go to Australia to see his family and spend New Year with them. so we have two choices and at some point one of us needs to make a decision, we can't afford both!

Slept well, no dreams thankfully, but have woken with a stiff neck and upset tummy - great! Unlikely to sleep tonight have to go back to work tomorrow though it will only be for the one day, so can't complain.

Haven't done any exercise yet, though plan to, but I need to get to the shops first a restock and then do some ironing before the pile gets any bigger. Then perhaps I will fit some in.

Determined to be good foodwise today and get back on track for good. I have a fair bit to lose now to get to my original goal so will make an effort to stay on track today. WW wrote to me to tell me that the leader at my local meeting has changed so I may take a look, didn't get on too well with the last leader so stopped going. I need the motivation really, I lose the plot after a while

Right ok get butt into gear and get myself off to the shops!

Well Nig has his appointment for 3.30 on Thursday. I laughed when he told me. He is unsure why. Haven't the heart to tell him that trying to get to the doctors as three schools are pouring out in the same street may be a bit tricky, it is also a one way street. Good luck!!

had a relatively easy day. Sat and watched total rubbish on telly, except for the film Pride and Prejudice of course, cooked some tea and done some washing. Didn't hoover, haven't done the ironing but there is always tomorrow!

Had a letter from WW to say the leader has changed again and they want to welcome me back with open arms - yeah right! Not sure if I should go on Friday or not, the thought of facing them scales is terrifying, yet I know that I have to take charge before any more weight goes on. I did so well before, I really must try and get it all off again.

Oh well off to surf the net before I settle down to sew.

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground
and
go
into the woods.
Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a
passionate

embrace.

Little Johnny found this so interesting that he could not contain
himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.

Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods
with

Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss,
then

he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his

pants off, then Aunt Jane........"

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an
interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want

to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."!

At the dinner table, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny

started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go
into

the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt
Jane
a
big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped

Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same

thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

Moral for women: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before
you
interrupt!

Or what can be classed as normality in this house.

5.30 this morning alarm goes off. Been awake most of the night following a recurring dream, one that I have been having for most of the week, and last night had about 3 times. So lots of tossing and turning and finally getting to sleep without dreaming when alarm goes off and Nigel groans.

Up at 6 as he brings me a cup of tea in bed. We sit and chat then he goes off to work. I go back to sleep - that dream again.

Eventually drag myself out of bed, make a couple of phonecalls, have a cup of tea, do an exercise dvd, and have some breakfast/lunch.

Need to hoover living room floor - for two dogs who are not supposed to molt a lot, they do, - then soak in a bath for a little while.

Recurring dream - I am talking to someone, I have never met, have no idea who he is. We chat by an elevator, and I touch his arm. His life flashes before me and I can see hurt and pain. Then we are in a pub, it is crowded, elbow room only, and we are sitting at a table together talking. Same thing happens but this time I am trying to block the images that I see.

Then I wake up.

I have no idea who this person is, we have never met, yet everything is so vivd, this morning after I woke for the umpteenth time following this dream I could even remember the conversation we were having as well as the pain he was suffering and what had happened.

Really weird!

Tried to phone doctors this morning for Nig, only appointment available was for 10 and yet dear hubby is in London! So that wasn't an option, he had to go back to work today or he wouldn't have got paid. So have been told to phone at 2.30 to try and get an evening appointment so will do that. Thanks to you all for your support it was really appreciated and helped to keep me sane

Right housework then bath now, need to soak my aching bones

I woke up feeling more positive than I have in days. Helped by the fact the sun is shining brightly outside and knowing that I am loved by a wonderful man and two fantastic kids.

A year ago I wrote in my diary about how low and lonely I felt. Even with wonderful husbnd and children, being surrounded by great friends I still felt alone.

Today I am happy to say I don't feel that way, there are times when things threaten to overwhelm me, when the voices in my head tell me otherwise, there are still dark days, there always will be, but for now I feel positive, glad to be alive, and hopefully we will all come through 2007 healthier, financially better and wiser.

I made no resolutions this year, there is no point. Last year I vowed I would lose weight and I sit here a stone heavier and hating what I see in the mirror. Today is the beginning of a new life, this year I will lose weight, I will exercise, but I am making no promises to how much or how often, I just want to get to the end of the year where Christmas will be videoed and I won't feel repulsed by what I see, that is my goal.

My stars for this year predict that this year:
I will break out of any routines that I want to be free of this year.

Making my home and family environment comfortable is a high priority. My nurturing desires will return many rewarding opportunities as I build harmonious relationships in my family.

My down-to-earth communication skills will benefit me in my social life, and I will attract many new opportunities with my friends.

I will be constructive in the way I handle demands in my work.

My big heart will bring you love and harmony in all my personal relationships.

I will feel very fulfilled and loving this year.

It will be interesting to see if they were right at the end of the year but as I am someone who believes you make things happen, and fate has a big part in what is in store it will be a great comparison at the end of the year.

So I wish you all a healthy and wealthy 2007, and hope above all that it has started off well for you all.

Hugs xx