Spread your wings and fly away

Brilliant and says it all really!

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life
In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe that
There's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here

Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

See the truth all around
Our faith can be broken
And our hands can be bound
But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
Yeah, is it not worth the risk?

Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
Cause these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

We can't go on
Thinking it's wrong
To speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside

Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Can we get it right?
Yeah, well can we get it right?

Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn't matter
Because these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

A guy gets on a plane and finds
himself seated next to a cute blonde. He
immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he

says,
"I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your
fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and
says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know,"says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," says the blonde."That could be an interesting topic. But let

me
ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the
same stuff, grass.
Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a
flat
patty,
and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose
that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the
slightest
idea." "So tell me," says the blonde,"How is it that you feel
qualified to discuss
nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

The Preacher explains that he must move on to a larger
congregation
that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to

leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city,
stands

up
and proclaims: "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him
with
a
new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to
transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands
and

says:
"If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his
salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college
education of all his children!" More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the
preacher stays, I will give him sex."

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed
you to say that?"

Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide,
holding

his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from
side

to
side while his wife replies:

"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he
said,......
"Screw the preacher!"

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to
his
place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one
wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy
bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and
hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering
the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange
them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had
put into organizing the display.There were small bears all along the
bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle
shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top
shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a
large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and
actually is
quite impressed by his sensitive side.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while,
she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the
one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?"

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds
warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically
lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip
off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so
overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more
heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive
guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls
over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?" The
guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her
eyes, and says...........................................

"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and
staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.

But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty
inches.

Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and
even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple
that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through
corrective surgery.

"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.

"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised
doctor.

"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs,
aren't
you?

Why, Why, Why *
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
dead?
**

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough money? **

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but
check when you say the paint is wet? **

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? **

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? **

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? **

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a
revolver at him? **

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? **

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? **

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.*

~TWENTY DOLLARS~

On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new
husband and asked for $20.00 for their first
lovemaking encounter. In
his highly aroused state, her husband readily
agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for more
than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to
afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find
her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer
was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had
been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and
therefore, they
were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than thirty
years of steady deposits and interest totaling
nearly$1 million. Then she
showed him certificates of deposits issued
by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
and informed him that they
were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that
for the more than
three decades she had "charged" him for sex,
these holdings had multiplied
and these were the
results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3
million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but
finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If
I'd had any idea what you
were doing, I would have given you all my
business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
to keep their mouths shut.

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that
they

learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,"
she

asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God
would
get
mad. Who do you want to give a Valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl
could

have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think
that

maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little
bit."

"And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama,
he'd
love
everyone alot."

"And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how
much
he
loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new
found

pride.

"Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard," he
says.

"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open,
the

Marines could shoot the f * cker."

Quick striptease for busy ladies

Nicked from Kizlode

WRATH

1. Who did you last get angry with?
My youngest son for swearing

2. What is your weapon of choice?
Sarcasm

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
No

4. How about of the same sex?
No

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
No one really as far as I know

6. What is your pet peeve?
Arrogance

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I tend to let them go

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you don't?
Exercise.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
12lunch time

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
I didn't see it

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
Yes only because I didn't want to miss the programme that was going to start after it

6. When was the last time you got in a good workout?
Can't remember

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
I didn't I just groaned

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Cappucino

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat??
Dark

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Lost count after 5, remember being very ill the next day though

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
Just Weight Watchers

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
Yes

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy?
Spicy

7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought "lunch"?
No.

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family):
3

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family):
2

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the opposite gender during a normal conversation?
No

4. Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
No

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
face, eyes, smile

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?
One, that is one too many

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Book shop

3. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Rich.

4. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
No

5. Have you ever stolen anything?
No

6. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
No idea

PRIDE

1. What's one thing you have done that you're most proud of?
Giving birth to two wonderful children (even had to have help with that!)

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
Don't know

3. What things would you like to accomplish in your life?
To be healthy and happy and see my kids grow up

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Not really as I almost always come last

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
No.

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
No

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
Nothing as far as I can remember

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Nothing

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
No one

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
No one I like being me.......sometimes lol!

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
NO not as far as I am aware anyway

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Yes

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Self confidence

THE 6 BEST SMART AR$E ANSWERS OF 2006*

*SMART ANSWER NO.6*

It was mealtime during a flight on a popular Airline. "Would you like
dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated

in front. "What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.

*SMART ANSWER NO.5*

Another flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand

for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your

ticket not your stub."

*SMART ANSWER NO.4*

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

*SMART ANSWER NO.3*

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all

day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.

*SMART ANSWER NO.2*

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the

bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars
are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and

says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

*SMART ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006*

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being

here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness, or a death in your immediate

family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering

from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced
to
laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess

you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

How behind my son is.

He was asked to write a few lines of a story using text messaging.

He didn't understand.

He came home and said he just sat there in class wondering what the hell the teacher was talking about.

Had to explain it was the abbreviations ppl used when they were texting someone by phone or on instant message.

He looked at me blankly.

So I showed him a couple of examples.

"How did you know that?" He asked in amazement

"Picked it up from friends or from kids at school" says I. " a lot of it is common sense"

"Really? Then why don't I understand it?" He asks

No idea son. He is 15 he should know, all the other kids do.

Too many brain cells in his head definately

It has felt like a very long and stressful day.

ok the stress hasn't been half as bad as it usually is, but when you don't want to be somewhere and you have to be there then it doesn't help matters much.

Especially when a passing comment you make in all innocence, upsets someone who is in a vulnerable place right now.

Fortunately it is all sorted now, apologies have been said, hugs exchanged, but doesn't make me feel any better in fact it makes me feel like the worst human being on Earth.

And why beat myself up over it.

Because I hate upsetting people. pure and simple and because the person concerned didn't need me sniping at her when she is feeling so low.

But the past is past and it is time to move on and start afresh.

Came home to a mess, kids have been home before me and all hell has let loose. Nigel is picking them up something to eat on the way home from their Wing Chung class as I have not long been in and not been able to cook anything before they go. Honestly you would think that they could have cooked themselves something before hand but that seems to be impossible, they were waiting for me.

My longest day.

The day when I am late home.

Hmm.

So i now have the house to myself, I should do some exercise but don't feel like it, I feel fat, I feel lazy I cannot be bothered to move.

Dieting gone out of the window last couple of days don't seem to control all those voices in my head.

Right off I am going before I upset anyone else

I am so tired this morning, yet I was wide awake at 4.

Typical

Full day today, plus counselling this evening with my group so won't be home until after 5.30 which makes it a very long day. Great fun.

Woke to the news that you can sign up to MI5 website and get an email telling yout he state of the terrorist alert. Problem is won't people panic a little bit? Is knowing whether it is high or low a good or bad thing? What if it is critical, and nothing happens, will that cause complacency?

Just some thoughts running through head when I heard it, decided I won't sign up, not that I am paranoid or anything but the thought of MI5 having my email address is enough to put me off.

Big brother is watching, don't give them any ammunition or something like that.

I know this post is a little off beat for me particularly on a Tuesday, not feeling my usual cheerful self.

Oh well better go and make another cuppa to greet the day with

Have a good day.