Through the week that is.

Wake up to strong winds and torrential rain, wonderful.

The great thing about living in Britain is you can never guarantee what the weather will be like - one day will be brilliant sunshine, the next rain, or better still start of sunny and have rain within the hour! And still I book up a holiday in Devon where there is no guarantee that the weather will be nice

My header picture was taken one morning in February. A friend saw it and said how clear it was, looks like a summer evening, she said.

Says it all really lol!

Work all day today, and have to cover a couple of hours while the teacher I work with pops out to a meeting. That should be fun!

It was pay day yesterday, most of it spent already on bills, but there we are that is how it goes, we work to keep everyone else happy .

Right no good sitting here moaning, better get on with the day ahead!

Have a good day

Little Johnny had terrible grades in school. So his parents decided to send him to a different school.
The same thing happened at this school - bad grades. They sent him to several different schools and still bad grades. So, as a last resort, they decided to send him to a Catholic school.
The first day, Johnny came home, rushed up to his room, and did his homework. This went on every day until his report card came out. He had straight A's, his parents were so proud, but they asked him, "Johnny, why after sending you to all these different schools, you fail, then we send you to the Catholic school and you have straight A's?"
Johnny replied, "Well, the first day, when I walked in, I looked up and saw that guy nailed to that plus sign, I knew they meant business."

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about “pussy,” and their “bitch.” The boy, confused by this, approaches his mother. “Mom, what’s a pussy?”
The mother, startled by this, thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says “Son, that is a pussy.” The son then asks “What’s a bitch?” The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says “Son, this is a bitch.”
The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says “Dad, what’s a pussy?” The father doesn’t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out a copy of Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says “Son, this is a pussy!”
The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks “Then, what is a bitch?”
The dad replies, “Everything outside the circle.”

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: 'Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.'
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: 'Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.'

I am not sure how I feel today.

I feel like I want to cry, then again I don't want to either.

I feel shell shocked.

I feel empty.

I feel frustrated.

I feel.......................

I don't know how I feel.

Yet I don't have any right to feel any of these things really.

12 years we haven't spoken.

12 years ago I cut all ties.

I won't go into the whys and wherefores, but I do have my reasons and my door has always been open - lets say the ball is in his court.

12 years.

And today I find out he has cancer.

I don't know how bad, yet, but it is the big C. He is in hospital, he is having tests, they are trying to determine whether to operate or to do chemotherapy.

Mum tried to get hold of me yesterday, but couldn't, so told me this morning.

A morning that started off so well.

Dad, I hope you get through this I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Get well soon x

Cooking lamb with roasted vegetables for tea tonight.

Youngest comes downstairs.

"mmmmm" he says, "That smells nice."

"Good"says I, "because it is dinner and you will eat it.

(I added this as he is a fussy eater which I do not give into)

"I said it smells nice" he says "I didn't say anything about eating it did I?"

Oh well here we go again.

On the news and on the BBC website as follows:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6396457.stm

An eight-year-old boy who weighs over 14 stone (89kg) may be taken into care by a local authority.

Connor McCreaddie, from Wallsend, North Tyneside, has lost a stone and a half in two months, but still prefers processed food to fruit and vegetables.

His mother, Nicola McKeown, has been called to a child protection conference with the local authority on Tuesday.

Family support may be offered, but the last resort would be for North Tyneside officials to place Connor into care.

Connor's pre-Christmas weight of 15 stones and eight pounds (98.8kg) is four times the weight of a healthy child of his age.

He has lost weight after beginning an intensive exercise regime and introducing some healthy food into his diet.

The eight-year-old does have a bike and a trampoline which he uses, but he has to stop after around 10 minutes because he becomes out of breath and can vomit.

He has difficulty dressing and washing himself, misses school regularly because of poor health and is a target for bullies.

Ms McKeown, 35, told the BBC: "Connor had a mouthful of apple once and he didn't like it.

"He refuses to eat fruit, vegetables and salads - he has processed foods.

"When Connor won't eat anything else, I've got to give him the foods he likes.

"I can't starve him.

"But I'm confident I can get his weight down with a bit of help."

Ms McKeown denied she is neglecting her son, and said he would be "skinny" if she had been.

She said she had seen doctors, but no-one had actually stepped in to offer her help.

She said that taking Connor into care would be "disastrous".

His story will be featured in ITV's Tonight With Trevor McDonald, which followed Connor and his mother for a month.

Dr Colin Waine, chairman of the National Obesity Forum, said that removing a child from their family could be justified.

"The long-term impacts of this child's gross obesity are frightening.

"He has great risk of diabetes and coronary illness.

"His life expectancy is severely prejudiced. So action is required if his health is to be safeguarded."

A spokeswoman for North Tyneside Council and North Tyneside Primary Care Trust, said: "We share the concerns over the child's health and well-being.

"We have been working with the family over a prolonged period of time and will continue to do so.

"The child's interests are paramount."

Children learn their eating habits from those around them, i.e. parents. Unless there is a medical reason why the child is this big, then surely the mother must take responsibility for this? We all have hectic lives, we all don't have enough time to do things as a family but we try our best yet it is worrying that more and more children are being classed as 'clinically obese'.

It is worrying.

who stole it from cj who stole it from.......

Oh you get the picture!

1) Grab the closest book to you.
2) Open to page 123, go down to the 4th sentence.
3) Post the text of the following 3 sentences on your blog.

McDermott hums occasionally or lies back and looks at the sky. He lights one cigarette and then another. The man smokes a lot.

Hmm must get round to reading book!

Yes Monday has dawned again.

Here the sun is rising and it promises to be a good day.

Mood a little better, thanks for all your comments yesterday, it helped a lot.

So news today as I woke and they were going on about how to cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze and cough - really? Do we need to be told that? Thought it was something we were always taught to do.

Mind you have seen people who don't and quite frankly it turns my stomach as well as those people who tend to try and clear their nose in the streets or spit.

That is one thing I do get annoyed at with footballers, the amount of them that spit when they are playing, it turns my stomach everytime.

No doubt I will be told there is a very good reason for this, but when it is then transferred onto the streets, yuck - and they wonder why infections spread.

Right enough rambling on about nothing in particular, better get myself sorted to face the day. I don't start till 11, so hopting to get a little housework done and my exercises as well.

Have a good and Happy Monday.

To everyone who looked in and posted those kind comments to my earlier post about my night out. It is very much appreciated.

Hugs to you all

FJ xx

Home.

Home is with my husband, who I love dearly, who puts up with my outbursts with love and tenderness, who supplies me with endless cups of tea when I am down, who protects me but also allows me the freedom to be me without question, who makes me laugh.

Home is with my two children, who I love very much. Who drive me insane at times, but who care for me, who make me laugh, who are brilliant kids.

Home is with my two dogs, who allow me to cuddle them, who love me unconditionally, who will curl up to me when they sense that I need that hug.

Home is by the sea, where I would really love to be, surrounded by hills, knowing that the beach is just walking distance away.

Home is not where I live now, this is temporary. This is a stop gap until we are able to move to a place near the sea. At the moment it is a house on the edge of a town. It is 5 minutes from the countryside, there are woods to one side. One day our home will be by the sea, but for now this will do.

Right this will be a self pitying post, so please pass along you don't have to read!

Last night, went out with the girls and one token male to celebrate a friend's 40th Birthday.

Dressed in black skirt, stockings and green top with just a hint of a cleavage i set forth to meet at her house, not feeling in the least bit sexy but frumpy, exaggerated by the fact that the other girls there are dressed to kill in dresses that showed off their curves to perfection.

Oh hum here we go thinks I.

Determined not to ruin what could be a good night out, Plaster a smile on face and we head off to one of the Chinese restaurants in town, eat, then decide that we are off to dance the night away.

Our usual haunt is closed for refurbishment. Have a drink in one of the local pubs to decide where to go. Find some seats which is a rareity, Noise level pumping through head with indie music (groan), have a few laughs with token male - as you can imagine talk gets onto all sorts which he encourages, and sit and drink while watching all the young women around us pluck and prune themselves for any menfolk that may be in the vicinity.

At this point tow of the size 10 girls discuss how fat they have got recently. "Look I can pinch more than an inch" says one. "I have hit 40 and can't seem to shift it"

Deep breaths not going to rise to bait.

Other one also sits there comparing her stomach and arms and how much it all wobbles.

By this time I am feeling huge. I am the biggest person there, size 16 with flabby arms, stomach (which at the moment looks pregnant) and I am getting more down by the second.

I really wanted to go home.

But it is my friends birthday who has had no part in this conversation, she wants to find somewhere to dance, so we head off towards a club for over 21s, on the way being given tickets to another club in the area for free entry - which I can categorically state was one of the worst places I have ever been in.

It is for over 21s, they never said anything about you having to be under 21.5 years to go in because we were by far the eldest people in the room. Antoher friend used the 'powder room' which has one cubicle with two toilets in it - she made a quick exit!

We eventually did find another club, more reasonable in age, but why do men think you want to dance with them - I was grabbed by one who wouldn't take no for an answer, twirled around dance floor, treading on my feet as he went and nearly breaking my fingers - eventually managed to escape and find a seat where the base of the music could thump through body till my head thumped and made you unable to have a conversation with the person next to you.

2 O'clock in the morning, me and another friend departed, saying our goodbyes to birthday girl assuring her we had a good time then I came home and cried, I have never felt so low.

Things like this don't usually bother me, but lately it really has been. I managed to drag myself out of bed to face the world but in reality I just want to crawl back in again.

How bad is that really? All I see is this fat thing, all I feel is fat, and I know I am doing something positive to get back to normal, but it doesn't help in the meantime.

This is me, stupid.

Son, thankfully, has finished studying the joys of Dr Who in his English lessons and went into school at the beginning of the week to a new topic.

Teacher looks at him.

"Where is your work on Jane Eyre" Teacher asks.

"What work?"

"The work I set before half term on the book" Replies Mr. idiot

"Er I was away from school ill for two weeks and the week before then I was at Kingswood" replies son

"Well we are studying Jane Eyre and I set work on it. where is yours?"

"Er sir I didn't know about it, sorry but if you let me know what it is you wanted done I will do it at the weekend"

"Well in that case you will have to do it now, we are on Chapter 10"

"ok" says son, "can I borrow a copy of the book please?"

"no"

"Pardon?"

"No, you can't borrow one, you can't take these ones home."

"But sir, how can I do the work if I haven't read the book and don't know what it is about?"

"You will just have to manage won't you" says Mr. Idiot.

Quite rightly, son is not impressed and was getting very angry whilst telling me this last night as I was getting ready for bed. So being the dutiful mother that I am, and not having a copy of that book (and believe me that is rare in this house), I dutifully purchased a copy of it this morning.

At this point I stress, son is severly put out because his friend is studying Pride and Prejudice and knowing it is my favourite novel, son was hoping to do it as well - at least he would get copious amounts of help with the homework!

The temptation to buy the BBC adaptation of Jane Eyre on DVD has been overwhelming, but I resisted. He has promised to read the book and I will do afterwards to refresh memory so that I can help if the need arises!

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital
when, during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was
masturbating furiously.

"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!!
Why is he doing that?"

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry
that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition
where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do
that at least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his
testicles could easily rupture".

Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was
obvious that a nurse was performing oral sex on him. Again, the
woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?"

Again the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness but he's
with Bupa"

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. the mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

PM's email response to road pricing petition

To: 1.7 million angry voters
Subject: Increase the size of your majority
From: 'Tone'

Cyber people of Britain dot com,

This is your prime minister here, virtual hand gesture, shiny hard-drive, smiley emoticon. I have now read your 1.7 million emails. I had a bit of trouble, I couldn't make the smiley paper clip thing go away, so I have made him minister for Northern Ireland.

I do understand your worries about the planned vehicle tracking and road pricing policy. Believe me, there is nobody more concerned about vehicle tracking than I am. After all, I need to know where Gordon Brown is at all times.

As I said at a party conference, I am listening. I hear. And I will act. Apparently, deleting with this matter will be simple. Sorry, did I say delete? I mean dealing with this matter will be simple. Why did I think of the word "delete?"

But do keep your ideas coming in. Number 10 values receiving your half-baked ideas, as we've decided to start charging £1.30 per email.

Blogging off for now,

Tone

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her

shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel

and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before

she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel."
After

thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front

of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
gets

to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes

me?"

Moral of the story : If you share critical information pertaining to

credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a
position

to prevent avoidable exposure

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing

her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After

controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his
hand.

But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once

again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving
at

the convent, the nun went on her

way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It

said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
might

miss a great opportunity

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch

when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The

Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas,

driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing

on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas

and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want

those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw

the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a

sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting

very, very high up

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the

top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull.

They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough

strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after

eating

some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth

night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: BullS*** might get you to the top, but it won't
keep

you there

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird

froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there,

a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize

how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there
all

warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following

the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and

promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:

(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend

(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends the 3-minute management course

It is nearly 2 O'clock and yet I have done very little. I was awake far too early this morning, I have been into town and I have been and done the weeks shopping.

I need to iron a top for tonight, but first I really think I should lie down for a little while as I have a splitting headache.

I can't be ill today. A friend of mine is 40 today and we are going out celebrating - a girls night out which will probably mean ending up in a nightclub somewhere to the wee small hours of the morning.

She wants to go to the new casino that has opened up around here, but I am really hoping that we don't. I have been to one before and not being a gambling person it isn't much fun after the first hour or so. Also as it is a new casino and it is opening today it will be packed and airless!

Oh I know that most of them you need to register with first, but this one is registering on the door if you bring a form of id. Great - really hope we can avoid it!

Right better go and heat that iron up or at least have something to eat - it will be a long night!

Nicked from MenoMama

1. Love is…………………………..Laughter, fun, companionship, trusting

2. I wish I………………………..could lose weight without dieting

3. Why did I…………………..Eat that sandwich - it wasn't very nice and is now repeating on me.

4. The last time I………saw a good film was ages ago, must phone friend and go to cinema

5. The first time I……..saw my husband I fell in love

6. I hate it when………..I can't find what I am looking for

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we
could all do with a little calm. By following the simple advice I read in
an article, I have finally found inner peace.

The article read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish off all the
things you have started".

So I looked round the house to see all the things I had started and hadn't
finished.

And before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of red
wine, a bottle of white wine, the Baileys, three Bacardi Breezers, the
Jack Daniels, the Prozac, some Valium, some cheesecake and a box of
chocolates.

You have no idea how bloody good I feel. You must pass this on to
those you feel are in need of inner peace.

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when
his sickly Father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So
one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her beauty took his breath
away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up
to her
"but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three
days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men

A variety of quotes from famous people on their opinion of sex and
love.

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."

Tom Clancy

"You know 'that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."

Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."

Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night."

Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz
SL600."

Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists, is like letting your dog vacation at the
taxidermist."

Matt Barry

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are
unimportant."

George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships."

Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's
reading."

Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."

Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet."

Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the
only time of the month that I can be myself."

Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
are just grateful."

Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"

Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."

Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like and just give her a house."

Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

This is exactly how I feel this morning. Feeling out of sorts and not quite with it.

Have to face WI which does not bode well and then pop into town to get a friend a birthday present for her 40th. Just wish I knew what to get her!

Oh well hope you all have a good day

Not long been home, exhausting day which I will tell you about tomorrow, but as it has taken 5 minutes, yes 5 minutes to load this page, I cannot be bothered to sit here waiting for things to load up so please forgive me my friends if I don't reply to posts, I did try but the pages are not loading!!!!!!!

Paddy, hope you feel better soon hun.

Hugs xx

See you all tomorrow!!

Dark outside as I type this. Got up to put some money on Nigels pone online before he heads off to work and to look up some information - before work this morning and to get some exercise in as well.

So far I have sat here in front of a computer screen sipping my early morning cuppa, I cannot function until I have had it.

One child up the other is still lolling in bed, though not for long otherwise he will hold us up!

Just been sent this by email thought I would share it with you.

Have a good day

*French grammar at its best...*

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you
can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a
while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are
pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over
inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and
retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently
getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines
for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight
shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed
at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male,
but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without
it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just
keeps trying

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?" The guy
said, "No" and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping,
drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to
cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was
never
farted on.

The end

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Casino

went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man

said, "Father during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door

and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son, and

you have no need to confess that."

"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors"

The priest said, "By doing that, you were both in great danger.

However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act

that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven"

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question."

"And what is that?" asked the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

A woman went into a bar in Newfoundland and saw a Mountie with his
Feet

propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. She
asked him if was true what they say about men with big feet. The
Mountie grinned and said, "Sure is, little lady. Why don't you Come

over to the barracks and let me prove it to you?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with
Him.

The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thanks, ma'am. I'm real flattered. Nobody
E