Spread your wings and fly away

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet,
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such
a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first
time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first
time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea
your father was a pharmacist."

In the year 5767 (2006), the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living
in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the
Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where is the Ark ?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for
the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire
for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of
most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
finish this Ark. "

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Well after finding out that I couldn't post a piccie because I didn't have enough space I took the plunge and went pro. Not that I understand fully yet what I am doing with my design, neither is it how I want it, so bear with me if I disappear, which could happen

she follows the crowd!

Create your own Friend Test here

There was I thinking how good it is to see that Aber still does not have a Tesco. There is a Morrisons, there is a Somerfield, there is also a Lidl, a Londis and a Spar, but no Tesco.

Alas I hear from my cousin that Morrisons is selling their store to Tesco.

Disappointed in this, really disappointed. It isn't as though Morrisons isn't busy, it is, very much so.

Shame.

Headed off to Uncles' house after having a walk along the promenade to clear head. Cheap wine is not good for you I have discovered, only had two glasses of the stuff and yet my head hurt like hell!

Uncle waited until everyone had emerged from their various beds, despite the lateness of the hour, before he opened presents/cards etc. Great watching him open all those cards with 60 on them and the various bottles of champagne he received as well!

I admit I was nervous about him opening my present, he isn't know for going down memory lane, but he genuinely seemed pleased as he browsed through the pages of the scrapbook, making the odd comment here and there. My Aunt cried when she read what I had written at the back of the book and he seemed pleased with his Arsenal book as well.

Feeling very tired, my Aunt, bless her, made us all lunch and we sat and ate going over the events of the previous evening. Unfortunately as time went on, it got harder to leave, but we eventually said our farewells and began our journey home. Journey that seemed to take forever, and wasn't without incident, one being the person who spent more time looking at the Sat Nav in his car than the road ahead and very nearly caused a huge pile up just to add to the ones that were already on the M6 Motorway!

Feeling deflated today i have to admit but I always feel that way when we get home from 'home'.

Back to normality now, children back at school today, lots of washing for me to catch up and a few bits of paperwork that need to be filled in!

It was a lovely wekkend. The weather turned out to be mild, the sun shone and the best bit about it all? Listening to the waves breaking on the beach as you laid in bed in the early hours of the morning.

The hotel will be avoided in future. It is ok if you want to spend one night there and just to lay your head down, but wouldn't recommend longer. The room had been cleaned, though there were stains on the telly, we found a used cup that was under one of the chairs, and a couple of drawers that clearly were broken. We decided against complaining as we already had a discount on the room and wouldn't be staying long, if we had of been staying longer we certainly would have done.

It was advertised to us as having a sea view. This was our window

Stand on a chair, twist body round slightly and stand on one leg and lean forward and oh yes you can see the sea! yippeeeeeee!

First night it rained, but it was lovely walking along the promenade in the dark listening to the waves lapping the shore, even the kids didn't moan for once! Went and helped decorate the hall, which was cold, but we got there in the end, came back to hotel and chilled out in the bar area which was dingy and dirty - decided we wouldn't be doing that again lol!

Next day spent shopping in the morning. Eldest son found the joys of shopping in Officer's club and cleaned me out money wise as he didn't have enough, walked through town centre which was decorated nicely with lovely lanterns for Chinese New Year!

Went to help with food preparations and look after my cousins children while they went and got a few bits and pieces from the shops then got ready for the party which was fun! About 50 people turne up altogether, mainly friends of my uncle and a few family members on my Aunts side, and the band that are friends of both aunt and uncle playing away lots of songs from the 60s and 70s! Even managed to get my eldest up and dancing which is very unusual for him!

Unfortunately no photos of me and hubby dancing the light fantastic as son had troupble with the camera!

Speech given by my cousin about how wonderful his father was and then the cutting of the cake which the Grandaughter helped him to cut (sweet).

All in all a great time was had by all!