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Archives for: April 2007, 06

Worry

by faffajane @ 06/04/07 - 14:24:02

WORRY

Is there a magic cutoff period when
Offspring become accountable for their own
Actions? Is there a wonderful moment when
Parents can become detached spectators in
The lives of their children and shrug, "It's
Their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital
Corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
Stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do
You stop worrying?" The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage." My
Mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
Chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
Children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
And was headed for a career making
License plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher
Said, "Don't worry, they all go through
This stage and then you can sit back, relax and
Enjoy them." My mother just smiled
Faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
Waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
Home, the front door to open A friend said,
"They're trying to find themselves. Don't
Worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying.
They'll be adults." My mother just smiled
Faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being
Vulnerable. I was still worrying over my
Children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
Was nothing I could do about it. My
Mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

I Continued to anguish over their failures, be
Tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in
Their disappointments.
My friends said that when my kids got married I
Could stop worrying and lead my own
Life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
Haunted by my mother's warm smile and her
Occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right?
Call me the minute you get home. Are
You depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a
Lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another
Handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
Human frailties and the fears of the
Unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
That elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable
Recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've

Been calling for 3 days now and

no one answered, I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed!

PASS IT ON TO OTHER PARENTS
(And also to your children. That's the fun part)

Just a Quicke

by faffajane @ 06/04/07 - 14:18:06

Won't be around much today as I have a mountain of jobs to get through, not helped by the fact I have the Street's kids in my house wrecking one of the bedrooms as we speak!

At least I know where Richard is lol!

So busy bee is coming and going and trying to get some sense of order into this pigsty of a house:)

Have a good day and enjoy the sunshine:)

Don't mess with this woman

by faffajane @ 06/04/07 - 12:32:28

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks,

interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists.

Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the

men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the

circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a

chair. Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife" The

agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife

and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room.

All was quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my

wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and

go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn.

She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.

She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one after another.

They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, She wiped the sweat

from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat

him to death with the chair."

MORAL:

Women are evil.

Don't mess with them

Stats

by faffajane @ 06/04/07 - 12:31:54

A man boarded a plane at Sydney airport and,

taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a

very beautiful woman boarding the aircraft. He

realised she was heading straight towards his

seat, and bingo! She took the seat right beside

him. Eager to strike up a conversation, he

blurted out:

"Business trip or holiday?" She turned, smiled

enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm

going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in

the United States."

The man swallowed hard. Here was the most

gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to

him, and she was going to a meeting for

nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly

asked, "What's your business role at this

convention?" "Lecturer", she responded. "I use

my experience to debunk some of the popular

myths about sexuality."

Really?" he smiled, "What myths are those?"

"Well", she explained, "one popular myth is

that African-American men are the most

well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native

American Indian who is most likely to possess

that trait. Another popular myth is that French

men are the best lovers, when actually it is

the men of Greek descent. We have also found

that the best potential lovers in all

categories are the Irish."

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and

blushed. "I'm sorry", she said. I really

shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't

even know your name!"

"Tonto", the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos but

all my friends call me Paddy."

A candle offering

by faffajane @ 06/04/07 - 12:30:59

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin one day when she fell in with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, "Top O' the morning to ye!. Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer husband two years ago?".

She replied, Aye, that ye did Father."

The Father asked. "And be there any wee little ones yet?."

She replied, "No, not yet Father, but we are working on it."

The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week to see the Pope and while I'm there I'll light a prayer candle for ye and yer hoosband."

She replied, "Oh, thank ye Father, maybe we need a prayer." Then they parted ways.

Some years later they met up again and the Father asked, "well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?."

She replied, "Oh, as well as can be expected Father!."

The Father then inquired, "and tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?."

She replied, "Oh yes Father!. Three sets of twins and four singles, ten in all!."

The Father said, "That's wonderful!, and how is your loving hoosband doing?."

She replied, "E's gone off to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle!."

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