The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife
goodbye
and said, "Well, I'm off now; the man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''

Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat"

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch,
and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
fun.
You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
in
and
out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby
pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
good look."

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.

The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had
to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
and
we
can get to work right a way."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.........

For now

Hubby is home and I am going to have a lay down. He can look after the kids now, I need more pills and to lay in a quiet room!

See you later!

Hugs x

From BBC website:

Women civil servants in India have expressed shock at new appraisal rules which require them to reveal details of their menstrual cycles.

Under the new nationwide requirements, female officials also have to say when they last sought maternity leave.

Women civil servants say the questions are a gross invasion of privacy. One told the BBC she was "gobsmacked".

Annual appraisals and health checks are mandatory in India's civil service. The ministry was unavailable for comment.

But one of its most senior bureaucrats was quoted in the press as saying the new questions had been based on advice from health officials.

'No words'

The questions at the root of the controversy are on page 58 of the new appraisal forms for the current year issued by the federal Ministry for Personnel, Public Grievances and Pensions.

Women officers must write down their "detailed menstrual history and history of LMP [last menstrual period] including date of last confinement [maternity leave]," the form says.

Women working in the civil service told the BBC the government had no need for this kind of personal information.

"I am completely shocked!" said Sharwari Gokhale, environment secretary in western Maharashtra state.

"I have absolutely no words to describe how I feel and I have no intention of telling them anything about my personal life.

"It's gob smacking."

Ms Gokhale said she had also served in the personnel department at the ministry which drafted the new forms and, while the health of officials was always a concern, asking such questions never crossed their minds.

'Natural phenomenon'

Maharashtra's joint secretary for general administration, Seema Vyas, agreed that the new questions were uncalled for. "Menstrual cycles are a natural phenomenon, they are not an aberration. One does not object to questions related to fitness levels - they are important as they can affect work.

"But there is no need for these details as this does not have any bearing on our work," she told the BBC.

"When we apply for maternity leave, we put in the appropriate application and the government already has those records so why ask again?"
She said she and her colleagues were thinking of writing a letter to the authorities protesting at the questions.

Despite repeated attempts, the BBC was unable to speak to the head of the personnel department, Satyanand Mishra.

The Hindustan Times newspaper quoted him as saying the questions were based on advice from the Ministry of Health.

"We sought the ministry's help to draw up a health-history format. I assume this will help evaluate the officer's fitness," he told the paper.

Goes beyond belief, what has this got to do with women who work? What do they hope to gain from this information apart from o use it against women who already struggle to keep jobs in India?

Unbelievable!

Posted this on Steve P's site as a response to one of his posts and thought it was worthwile posting it here as it was quite funny!

Stood behind a woman at the till today who was shouting at the assistant about the milk that she had bought but had gone of and how stupid it was that the shop had sold it to her and doesn't she think that she should check all the sell by dates in future so that she doesn't have to stop and check everything and what was she going to do about this milk that was of!

Nothing, the assistant replied, because this is Sainsburys and that milk came from Asda!

I had to smile as the woman stormed off lol!

I am so fed up

I can't go out, driving into town this morning felt like torture - every bump or hole in the road jarred my back.

I lay down.

I have to get up again.

Sitting is painful as is standing.

And the best bit is, Simon has a friend round and they are making more noise than a herd of elephants.

Oh did I mention that I feel as huge as an elephant as well?

Great!!

Everything is swollen, TOTM must be due - wonderful, can't wait I don't think *insert scream here*

OUCH!

Day has not got off to a good start.

Going to have to try and see if I can get to the Oesteopath later, back is in spasms and I am finding it difficult to move.

Have to keep going, if I sit still for too long I cannot move!

Glad the sun is still shining though lol