Right as I am not allowed to watch House because he is watching the flipping football and I can't get channel 5 on the telly upstairs, I am going to take myself off and claim the bed as my own, spread out and read my book.

So I bid you farewell until tomorrow.

Nite nite xx

HE is watching the football

So far HE has managed to shout at the telly 3 times in 11 minutes

Can see it is going to be a long game!!

Some interesting ones there on my profile, and they make me smile.

Especially the
"Goes shoe shopping with PMT"

I hazard a guess who wrote that lol:

Popped out this afternoon to Bedford Retail park to buy youngest some new school shoes. Tried Barantanos but nothing there that was remotely suitable, so left eldest to browse round the shop while I popped to Clarks.

Big mistake, it was packed.

So waited 20 minutes to be served. My number got called and I bellowed "here".

"three times I called your number" said the assistant.

"Really?" Says I " Is it any wonder that I could hear you when there are a load of screaming kids in here running around because their parents are too lazy to keep control of them" I said gaining a dirty look from the mother sitting opposite me who was letting her child jump from one seat to another and throw the trainers around.

So she set about measuring youngest's feet and found three shoes of his size and brought them out.

"These are the most expensive pair" she announces "they are waterproof and scratchproof as well"

" oh great" says I " any chance of trying one of the cheaper pairs on please"

She scowls at me and then gets Richard to put on one of the cheaper pairs. He does the walking up and down bit and she checks and confirms that they are ok.

"Do you like them?" she asks Richard.

"Yes" he says "but can I try those other ones please?" he asked her pointing to the other cheaper pair.

"I have a lot of customers to serve today and if you try on the other pair and decide you like these better then that is just a waste of my time isn't it" she says.

So I made Richard try on both the other cheaper pair and the expensive ones, made him walk up and down the shop a couple of times in each pair, then got him to try on the original ones by which time Simon made an appearance, so asked Richard to try on all three pairs again and walk up and down and see what Simon thought who by this time thought I was seriously losing it and just agreed with everything I said!

We bought the original cheap pair in the end much to the assistant's consternation lol!!

I couldn't resist, if she had let tell Richard in the first place that they were the pair he was getting instead of telling him that she was busy, then I wouldn't have done this would I especially as he had sat quietly throughout, didn't murmur or throw a tantrum or muck about in the shop.

Yes I can be awkward, just don't mess with me when I have PMT!!

..............................................................

Came out of shop, head towards matalan as Richard is very low on shorts and thought I had better stock up. Simon breaks the news to me that he has found a pair of trainers because his ones are too small. Not surprised as he is now a size 8 shoe and the ones he is wearing are a size 7. Great think I more money, so we head back into Barantano and get him his trainers.

Then matalan where we end up buying two pair of shorts for Richard, socks and a T shirt for Simon!

Spend a small fortune and I still can't find anything for myself lol!!

http://cgi.liveauctions.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&viewitem=&item=170096789923

These have just been emailed to me enjoy!

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"

**

Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a salted.

**
A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

**

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

**

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

**

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"A beer please, and one for the road."

**

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

**

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

**
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'. "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

**

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"

**

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

**

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

**

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before

**

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

**
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

**
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."

**

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.

*****

A man walks into doctor's office.
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."

**

Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"

These have just been emailed to me enjoy!

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"

**

Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a salted.

**
A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

**

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

**

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

**

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"A beer please, and one for the road."

**

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

**

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

**
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'. "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

**

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"

**

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

**

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

**

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before

**

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"

**
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

**
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."

**

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.

*****

A man walks into doctor's office.
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."

**

Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"

Shopping today to restock the cupboards that two teenagers and 8 year old emptied yesterday.

Standing in Queue waiting to be served and pay for my goods.

Woman in front of me has a child, about same age as Richard.

Conveyor belt is moving along nicely, woman starts to pack her bags when the boy presses the button at the far end to stop the belt.

Ok but then he starts it again, then stops it, starts it, stops it so on and so forth and nothing is said to him by the mother who carries on shopping.

The cashier is getting a bit peed off you can tell by her expression she is not amused so she switches the belt off which means that neither belts will work now.

So the mother says "oh dear I have to stretch"

"Oh" says the cashier "did your son break the belt? I will have to get maintenance down later to check it"

Mother pays and goes away.

As I start loading up, the belt starts to move.

"sorry" says the cashier "but he was really getting on my nerves.

I had to laugh.

Beautiful day out there again, get some washing out on the line in a minute and give the living room a quick dust I think!

Back a lot easier this morning though I have a slight pain in my neck probably caused by sleeping awkwardly to take the pressure off my back lol!

Will have to do some ironing later as well so that I can enjoy the weekend

Hope it is nice and doesn't decide to rain lol!

Right enough rambling, not a lot to say really, will think of something more riveting later lol!

Have a good day