BEDTIME PRAYER

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray for a man, who is not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart, and strong

And one who's willy is thick and long.

One who thinks before he speaks

When he promises to call, he won't wait for weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed

And when I spend his cash, he wont be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair, and opens my door

Massages my back, and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind

Knows what to say when I ask "How big's my behind"?

One who'll make love 'til my body's a twitchin',

In the hall, the loo, the garden, and kitchen!

I pray this man will love me 'till no end

And never attempts to shag my best friend.

And as I kneel and pray beside my bed

I look at the Shit Head you sent me instead !!!

REVENGE ON THE TELEMARKETER & JUNK MAILERS

Three Little Words That Work!!

(1) The three little words: "Hold On, Please..." Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off
(instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing
call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind
to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear BT 's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you
know it's time to go back and hang up your handset .... you have
efficiently completed your task.

These three little words could help eliminate telephone
soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the
other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is then used to determine the best time of day for a "real" salesperson to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering: If you notice there is no one
there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or
7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine
that dialled the call and it kicks your number out of their
system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their
system any longer!!!

3: When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for
everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk,
do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-prepaid return envelopes, right?

It costs them more than the regular postage "IF" and when they
are returned. It costs them nothing if you throw them away!
In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail
and put it in these cool little, postage-prepaid return envelopes.

Send an advert for your local chimney sweeper to American Express ...
they might need one!
Send a pizza coupon to HSBC ... in case their canteen packs up. You
get the idea.

If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them back
their blank application form ... after all, it is their form!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on
anything you return.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep
them guessing! It still costs them, and it is their envelope after
all ... you are just returning it!!!!

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot
of their own junk back in the post, but folks ..... we need to
OVERWHELM them, in order to stop them.

Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best
of all they're paying for it ... Twice!

Let's help keep Royal Mail busy. Since the Royal Mail are
saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, let's help
them so they will not need to increase postage costs again. You
get the idea!

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- maybe
you'll get very little junk mail anymore.

There are times in my life when I have felt that I am not alone. I don't mean that I am surrounded by my friends or family or that my husband and kids are in the vincinity, I mean that when I am in the house by myself, there is someone or something with me.

Ok so I have sppoked you all out now and you all think I am a nutter (oh you think that already!). I have a feeling right now that someone is looking over my shoulder, the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up and I just had that shiver down my spine. The fact that I can feel someone there when there isn't a human presence there, doesn't freak me at all, in fact I have got used to it. At the moment it is a calming presence, a sign that all is well, that everything is ok, that nothing will seriously happen. occasionally I feel a different presence, one that tells me something is wrong, one that will unsettle me, and that is when I get to 'see', dream or have have a sense of deja vu.

I know I am never alone. when I was scared no terrified as they wheeled me into theatre to have my first C section that no one had explained to me, I felt my Grandfather hold my hand, he was there with me throughout, and my last vision as I drifted off to sleep was of him smiling at me and telling me it will be ok. People afterwards said that I had imagined things, he had been dead for several years by this point, but occasionally he is with me. Not now though, this is a different presence, one that I am familiar with even if I don't know his name, my guardian angel perhaps who can tell?

So why am I confessing all this now, on a Wednesday morning of all things, when I should be rights be getting ready for work and shouting at two children who have done nothing but snap and argue since they emerged from their beds. The reason why they are arguing is because Richard told us this morning that he was 'visited' in the night, that someone had sat on his bed ans stroked his head after he had a nightmare. Neither of us have been in his room, so Simon has told him that he is being stupid and silly that he just imagined it, which in effect has ended up with one child crying and one child shouting and the pair of them will end up with my wrath if they don't stop it!

I don't think he did make it up though, my instinct is to believe him as I have had similar experiences in the past and because they scared me so much I blocked them out and wouldn't believe. Now though I am more accepting. My dreams were for once pleasant, the type that wrap you up in a lovely warm blanket leaving you soft and cosy and warm inside. These are rare, but I love them when they are like that. I haven't managed to predicet the future yet and I don't have a crystal ball to see into, even I think that would be too much for me lol! For now I will rely on my presence to guide me through.

And so today, it will be busy, the weather does not look good - I predict rain!

Have a good one