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Posts archive for: 18 August, 2007
  • Plane talk

    A stranger was seated next to a little girl on an airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,

    "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger,

    "What would you like to talk about?"
    "Oh, I don't know", said the stranger,
    "How about nuclear power?"
    "OK," she said.

    "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.

    A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff.
    Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
    Why do you suppose that is?"

    The stranger thinks about it and says, "Wow, I have no idea."
    To which the little girl replies,

    "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know $hit?"

  • How very true:)

    How very true! A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?" "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets." The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?" "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in." "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. "What do you call this place?" the traveler asked. "This is Heaven," he answered. "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too." "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell." "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?" "No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind." Soooo. A lesson for us. What do your friends mean to you? Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain. When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes. When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes. When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes. Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke. So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile. You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime.
  • I'm Back

    Arrived home safe and sound from holiday which was great!

    We had the typical English weather, showers one minute, or sun the next if we were lucky. It was fun, we did lots, but will catch you up with that later when I have managed to have a good nights sleep, something that I lacked last night lol!!

    Accomodation wasn't too good. Would never recommend Braddicks holiday centre in Westward Ho! even those that were camping complained of the showers in the shower block and yes I am quite fussy, but I don't expect to come across cobwebs and dirty baths in the chalets or rental accomodation! complaints feel on deaf ears. However the booked entertainment was quite reasonable though the two people who tried their hardest to entertain before the booked entertainment really needed a personality transplant. The guide tells us that there is a variety of entertainment done by them, yet it only constituted of 5 games of bingo, followed by another game, then the children's disco, another game of bingo, one quiz another game of bingo before the entertainment, Oh and wait for it, after the booked entertainment, yes you guessed it, another game of bingo whopppeeeeee!!:??: Enough to drive you insane:)

    Luckily we managed to get out everyday and do some sightseeing, which is good, even managing to go to the beach on one of those days!!

    Right enough moaning and groaning, on the whole it was a good holiday but only because we made it so:)

    so unpacking to do, quick catch up on what I have missed, look at the photos I took and stick some washing on for now lol!

    Hugs to all

    :)

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