Spread your wings and fly away

Take heed and please don't say you weren't warned though I am sure it has given one or two of you men an idea or two lol!!

Hope you are having a wonderful day hun, you deserve it.

Happy birthday

Russian mother has 'giant' baby

Enlarge Image
A Russian woman has given birth to a baby weighing 7.75kg (17.5lbs), more than twice the average newborn weight.

The "little" girl, Nadia, was delivered by Caesarean section at a hospital in the Altai region of Siberia, joining eight sisters and three brothers.

"We were all simply in shock," reports quoted Nadia's mother, Tatyana Khalina, 43, as saying.

"What did the father say? He couldn't say a thing - he just stood there blinking," she said.

Record weights

All her previous babies had weighed more than 5kg (11lb), a local reporter was quoted by the Reuters news agency as saying.

"I ate everything, we don't have the money for special foods so I just ate potatoes, noodles and tomatoes," added Mrs Khalina, who had the child on 17 September.

In January 2005, a woman in Brazil gave birth to a baby weighing 17lb (7.73kg), the heaviest boy yet born in Brazil, according to the Brazilian Gynaecological Association.

Among the heaviest babies recorded are a 10.2kg (22.5lb) boy born in Italy in 1955, and a 10.8kg (23.8lb) boy born in the US in 1879 but who died 11 hours later.

Not much entertainment in that part of the world is there lol

Why Do people go out of their way to make life difficult for others?

Why can't I get a straight answer from the stupid woman on the other end of the phone?

Why can't my order be processed and here on time like I asked and paid for?

Why have the catalogue company mucked up my other order?

Why hasn't the heatpad come yet

Why why why why why

*screams*

Well we came second again in the quiz last night and that was on a tie breaker for first and second place. We would have come first without the tie breaker as we could have had all the answers correct but we didn't answer one of the questions.

Question was: Osteoporosis is a disease of the bones, spell osteoporosis.

So we wrote it down, but you know when you write a word down and it doesn't look right? Well we had that problem yesterday. We tried to re write it, then decided as it was one of the questions in the elimination round that we wouldn't risk it and would leave it out. How we kicked ourselves when we realised we were correct afterall! Still we won £15.00 towards our Christmas meal kitty which is building up nicely so can't complain.

Doing another quiz on Saturday which is for charity, I really am getting hooked on this

Listening to Radio 5 and they are talking to the parents of Rosemary Edwards. My heart goes out to them, it must be so hard having to deal with her death, but they want to put their story if it will help others to avoid what happened to Rosemary.

According to Mind Suicide accounts for 20 per cent of all deaths amongst young people aged 15-24 and is the second most common cause of death amongst young people after accidental death. Around 19,000 young people attempt suicide every year and about 700 of these die as a result.

These statistics I find quite scary. I know there are lots of children out there that feel they cannot talk to their parents or other adults because they just will not understand. we were all young once and we probably all thought that about our own parents.

I really feel for this family because after listening to them, they dealt with a situation with their child in the same way that I probably would have dealt with it if it had been one of mine, and the thought that they lost a child as a result makes me grieve with them.

right enough of this depressing post have housework to do

Have a good day!

I have a headache

I have to do the Swim run with the kids

Then the pub quiz tonight.

To be honest I want to just crawl into bed, but I know that nothing will get done if I do that and I am needed tonight anyway so no hope there.

Busy day at work. Supply teacher in today who for once was very good and conscientious (quick make her sign along the dotted line), and an influx of TAs in the class meant that I was able to work with the More abled children this morning which made a really nice change. This afternoon, my teacher had left instructions that I was to have my planning hour and then to take the next lesson and do some work that I needed to catch up on i.e. get displays done! So nice and easy it was really if only I didn't end up with a splitting headache at the end of it all!

Right now making spaghetti bolognaise though it is with fusili rather than spaghetti otherwise Nigel won't eat it! I keep telling him pasta is pasta but he doesn't seem to believe me!

As for the title? Well it is the end of the week for me, no work tomorrow lol

Hope everyone had a good day

Just thought I would pop in and say hello.

Sorry not caught up with the posts so do apologise if I haven't passed by your blog today but I have been busy since I got home and my eldest child was hogging the computer - serious conversations going on MSN between him and the friends he sees at school all day lol!!!

Anyway managed to finish my cross stitch sampler for my cousin's baby, just needs a wash and an iron before I take it in to be framed. Now I can concentrate on the dragon I was doing!

Nigel is at football tonight, not sure what time he will be home but I am sure he won't be long now.

Not much else has happened apart from trying to find some photos but that is another story!

Have a good evening

hugs xxx

I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning.

Not because it was cold, though it is outside, it isn't indoors.

I was snuggled up under the duvet, had a lovely dream and didn't want to face the world.

Too much going on at work and I know that at some point we will get caught up in the cross fire!

Ah well there isn't much I can do about that. Might as well get ready to go and face the day ahead!

Have a good day

hugs xx

Although that is not what I said when I found out more along the lines of "talk about falling in xxxxx and ending up smelling of roses"!

So son has spent the last 2 hours after school, going through his coursework with his teacher and getting some guidance. She has now told him that he doesn't need to hand it all in until December, though if he wishes to email her 'each draft as he does it' then she will get an idea on how much he has done and what still needs to be do.

A bit of a difference to it being needed by Friday!!!!

I have told him though he will do a bit each night, which he has agreed to, lets see if he sticks to it.

In other news he has presented me with a list of study guides that he wants to help him study for his exams total cost £36.00.

Guess who will be spending the next few months grovelling to me on his hands and knees!

Cruel aren't I lol

As some of you have commented on my stitching and asked to see some of my work, here is just a few of the projects I have done over the years. (Click on images to enlarge)

Myeldest son used to love watching Blue Peter on telly and fascinated by steam trains (both of which he has now outgrown), so when I saw this kit in the shop I just knew I had to stitch it for him

I love Celtic designs, I have so many to do, but I managed to complete this one for our new home and probably one of the few designs I have stitched that I have kept.

Hubby is a Royalist though even he admits there could be improvements made! So I stitched this for him for Jubilee year, however it is still waiting to be framed

This is from the 'All Our Yesterdays' range of cross stitch. I love stitching these and again I have several that need to be done that I will get round to one day This one is called Raggety Anne and was stitched for my friend's daughter as a 21st Birthday Present.

A couple of Wedding Samplers I have done for friends

And a birth Sampler done for one of the teachers that I worked for.

And this is what started it all when I was 13. So it took me the best part of 5 years to complete it, but it had me hooked
and it led me to complete this:

There are a lot more, but I hae realised that I didn't take pictures of them or they are in an album somewhere from days before I had a digital camera.

4 Wedding Samplers
2 Anniversary samplers (silver weddings)
Too many cards to count
4 birth samplers
2 angels
and many more!!

Got three on the go at the moment so perhaps one day if I finish any of them I will post them as well

oh and for those that remember it, I still haven't finished that dragon yet lol

The moon wasn't her usual bright self yesterday. Though high up in the sky when I let the dogs out, she was a little blurred round the edges as though she was trying to hide behind a very thin cloud - she may have been of course, but I like to think she was reflecting my mood, happy in the middle but falling apart round the edges

Happy mood continuing though no idea why. Perhaps it is because the sun is trying to shine outside. Wish I could feel positive but no matter how much I try something stands in the way or someone does something to upset it.

No matter how many times I asked my son what coursework he had to do in the summer holidays, he told me he didn't have any. Yesterday he spent all evening, apart from when he went diving, doing Geography coursework which had been given to him to do before the holidays!!! He will learn, but I am not happy with him, it has to be handed in on Friday thereby reducing my time on the internet

Kids they always do the opposite of what you tell them to do. The other one is just as bad telling me that he didn't have his book, that he had left it at school, when I knew that it was in his bag! If this goes on there will be massive arguments brewing here soon.

Only working 2 hours today, quite a nice day really. Don't plan on doing a lot and when i come home I plan on sitting down and stitching. My cold is gradually getting better, actually had a night where I could breath!

Right better go and get dressed and make sure the kids are doing what they are supposed to be doing, namely getting ready for school

Have a good day xx

Just for a change, I woke up early, while it was still dark, happy in my mind and happy it was Monday.

Felt fine when I got up, still bunged up but a shot of beconase up the nose cleared that, came downstairs, put kettle on and went into the conservatory, where Prickles in currently residing.

Stuck my gloves on and looked in his cage, he was up as it was still dark, and has managed to eat all of his food and tip all his water over everywhere! We had a little 'chat' as I cleaned it all up and changed his bedding, then he settled down for the day ahead and for a good sleep.

The rain was pounding on the conservatory roof and the food we had put out for the pigeon had been blown over - oh forgot to tell you, pigeon was released on Saturday but he keeps coming back and sitting on the conservatory roof. The pigeon was nowhere to be seen though this morning so hoping he has found some shelter somewhere.

Anyway sat in the conservatory for a little while, hubby brought in my tea and I watched as the day brightened up even though it was raining. The squirrels fought over the food on the bird table, a couple of birds came down to see if any worms were about, other than that it was still outside apart from the wind rustling through the trees.

Very peaceful, very surreal.

Of course now I am showered and dressed, ready for work, but first I must pay a visit to the bank and set up a standing order for my son's swimming lessons. Youngest is already at school, my friend is doing the school run today and she needs to be at school early so she took him for me, I will be there at 11 and collect hers from school at 3.30 as she will have gone home. A busy day lies ahead but I feel prepared for it and positive today.

All I have to do is shift this cold, but hoping to pass a few germs on along the way

Have a good day everyone xx

here

........... and a nine year old that wouldn't stop talking, I managed to get to Sainsburys in one piece, without upsetting any four wheeled drivers and casually strolled round the shop trying to match items on my shopping list to those in my trolley.

Dear reader, when you are not in the best of health DO NOT attempt to go shopping.

I hung onto that trolley for dear life as I went round, loving being in the freezer section where the cold blast of icy air was cooling me down nicely, if not attracting odd looks from customers as I kept opening and shutting the freezer door.

I queued at the till, feeling faint and weak as I loaded my gear up onto the conveyor belt to me handled by the sales girl as she chatted away about inconsequentials or rather her day so far. I paid for my goods after packing them in a rough order of heavy items first, meat, fridge items, odds and sods and then bread. pushed the trolley to the car, unloaded, chatted to a friend that I saw then came home, unloaded the car and then I collapsed on the sofa letting my 9 year old, who was still talking and I swear hadn't taken a breath in all that time, to pack everything away for me.

I now sit here in front of a screen with a bad head, sore throat and feeling generally like crap, yet first thing this morning I did feel a lot better than I have been since I first came down with this.

bizarre!

Right, in other news, no there is no other news, so I am going to head off and do some stitching now, once I have made myself another cup of tea and taken some echinacea!

So far this morning the sun is shining. I have some towels to wash which I will do in a moment and a hedgehog to clean out, which seems to have become my job on a daily basis now!

I am still bunged up and feeling fluey, my bones ache and I have no energy, but alas things need to be done, so done they shall be, though how I will manage to shop I don't know - as those of you that know sending Nig out with a shopping list will mean he will come home without half of it!!!

Had a strange dream last night. My aunt was on the telephone to me, could see her clearly - it was like a tv programme where they split the picture so you can see who people are talking to. Anyway, I digress, there I am on the telephone to my aunt who is telling me all about Natalie and the trouble she is in and i am getting really panicky about it all and saying I will come down and see her and try to find out what happened etc etc.

My Aunt I obviously know but who the hell is Natalie and why should I be getting panicky about the trouble she is in namely that someone tried to drug her in a nightclub or she got beaten up or something!!!!

Have no idea who she is as all!

Ah well, don't know the outcome because i did wake up at this point but it has left me bemused to say the least.

Right Prickles needs cleaning and towels need to be washed so better go and do it!

have a good day everyone!

As far as I am aware, bonfire night is on 5th November.

Now I know that we usually get fireworks going off a few days, if not a week or two beforehand, and usually for a few months afterwards, well at least until the new year anyway, but there is some idiot out there who has lit a bonfire, the smell of it is wafting around the house as the windows were open, and letting off fireworks!!! i really wish I could be bothered to hunt the culprit down and report them but it is dark and late and I have a feeling that it is from one of the housing estates that is behind us.

Talking of which, in the local paper was an article about how that estate and another estate in our town, which got completely harangued by a well known spreadsheet earlier in the year, states that gangs of youths from the two estates are in a turf war, fighting over which one is better and there being no go areas if you are from one or the other estates.

This in turns makes me ponder, what the hell was my son doing walking home from town when he was given explicit and clear instructions to tell me when he wanted me to pick him up? It is a 45 minute walk from town to our house!

hubby says I shouldn't have a go at him, he is 15, he should be allowed some freedom and he was sensible as he did have someone to walk home with so it wasn't as though he was alone.

But that is besides the point. I am his mother, I am allowed to worry about these things. I know hubby is right, but I can't help but worry can I?

Not in the mood for posting at the moment.

not in the ood for anything really.

Sorry if I haven't caught up with posts or comments yet, had a shitty day yesterday where a four wheeled driver tried to run me of the road where we ended up having a row.

He wasn't impressed, but as far as I am concerned he was in the wrong, the traffic jam was on his side of the road and he pulled out into oncoming traffic and no I wasn't going to give way to him, there was no need for me to, everyone else was patiently waiting for the traffic to clear just because he had a big car, to make up for (no doubt) the small size of his prick, didn't me he owned the bloody road.

short end of story is he ended up calling me a fucking bitch, and me agreeing with him that I am more of a fucking bitch than normal because as well as suffering from PMT I am also full of a cold so get over it!!!

Well you can guess the argument from this can't you? Did think about reporting him, I memorised his number plate, but can't be bothered.

Anyway, cold has got worse, though beconase has done the job of clearing my sinuses, but I have a headache and am still bunged up with a sore throat as well. Walked up some stairs when i went into town earlier and was so breathless, it was ages before I could catch my breath, very worrying as I go up these stairs without any problem usually!

Ah well enough moans and groans, think I will go and lie down in a mo.

Hugs xx
So today I am

good news:

We came 2nd in the pub quiz last night, so our pot of funds which will go towards our Christmas meal, if it ever gets booked, is getting bigger

However before getting as far as the pub for the quiz, which I really felt too ill to go to but dragged myself along to anyway, I had the Governors meeting to attend which went on for far too long, due to the couple of Governors who have to nit pick over everything!!!

Slept badly last night due to not being able to breathe. The worst thing about me getting a cold is my sinuses get blocked up and I cannot drain away so end up all nasally and I hate it. Richard is a pain giving me this. My throat is sore, eating cereal this morning was like swallowing sawdust!

Not going to do much today just go and sit and wallow in self pity instead and do some stitching lol!

Have a good day

Have a great Birthday hun, hope you get all you wish for

Hugs xxxx

Today I have been rushed off my feet, sorting out problems, attending meetings and a course on the disability act and SEN code of practice.

What we actually need is all staff trained to deal with all matters that arise through having SEN or disabled children in school and we get a course about the disability act

On top of which I have just got home and hubby has cooked and I have to head out to a governors meeting tonight before heading to the pub for Quiz night!

Oh and I have a stinking cold, so bad I have walked around with a box of tissues, half of which I have used for my dripping nose which is looking like Rudolph's red nose now.

My sinuses are blocked, I have a headache and bed looks enticing.

But there is too much to do, people to see and spread my germs on.

To think at the first sign of a cold sends the menfolk in my house to bed with manflu lol

right have to dash out of that front door now, sorry if I haven't had time to respond to posts etc, will try and catch up at the weekend I promise

Hugs xx

Hope you had a wonderful day, sorry this is late but only just got in to post!

Hugs

xxxx

..........talking about things in general as you do when suddenly hubby shouts STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"WTF" says I to him.

"there is a pigeon on the road under the bridge, it may be hurt!"

"And?" says I

"TUrn round so I can check on it".

So I do as I am told and now we have a baby pigeon in the shed.

Tally so far:

Two dogs
Canary
2 finches
several tropical fish
a hedgehog
a baby pigeon

And they tried to convince me at work today that St. francis is really dead.

I don't think so

If you are tempted to purchase the new Weight watchers quiches, that look so appetising by their picture ont he front (not), Don't bother. Buy a proper quiche instead.

The Weight watchers ones are vile, tasteless, disgusting like most WW products.

Here ends my public service announcement.

Despite the sun being in the sky it is quite cold outside and chilly. There is a fine layer of frost on some of my plants, a sure sign that Summer (what summer?) is over and winter is on its way.

I am sure I suffer from SAD. Winter is my worst time, I hate it. The cold, the rain, sometimes snow. I find it hard to stay on track, I just want to hibernate. There are times when I think I should be in a warm country somewhere.

Ok in fairness we have definate seasons here. The spring where plants start to come to life, the daffodils and snowdrops pushing their heads throught he ground and leaving a burst of colour. The summer full of its variety of plants and unpredictable weather. Sometimes, yes sometimes, it is warm, very warm, sun shining all day long, the sound of children playing outside. Autumn, the leaves on the trees turn from green to brown, then drop their leaves to the ground,the frost settling on the pavements in the morning, the chilly mornings, the chilly evenings, the nights drawning in, dawn arriving later as each day passes.

Winter, everything has died apart from few plants that can survive winter, but don't look as good as they did in summer. Occasionally snow, though more likely sludge, the short hours of daylight, the long hours of darkness. Everything looks drab and grey.

WEll moaning about it isn't going to get me anywhere is it? I should be grateful really that I am alive, that I have a loving family and two good children instead of moaning about something I have no control over. I intend to remain positive about the approaching winter this year, how long that will last for though is anyones guess

Have a good day and a safe journey wherever you are.

Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself

Man: 'May I buy you a cocktail?'

Maxine: 'No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs.'

Man: 'Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?'

Maxine: 'No, they spread.

Well it isn't so happy but trying to be positive

So far I have managed to

Clean Prickles cage (he is doing well btw)
Hoover and polish the living room
done some exercise
waiting for washing machine to finish

Now I have to
Eat some breakfast
have a shower
get some lunch
head off out to work.

Working 11-3.30 today so not too bad really.

Sun has disappeared behind some clouds and the weather has a chill in the air

Hope everyone has a good day

Hugs xx

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.

Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."

The pastor shouted out "CROSS."

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison,

"THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."!

The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing

"AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."

The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang

"THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD."

The Pastor said "SEX"...

The congregation fell into total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church,

a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up

and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES."

Pass this along and make someone smile today

(I just did).

Gotta Love Little Old Ladies.

This is a story about a popular young Rabbi, who on Sabbath Eve announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract. He explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims :
"If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"
The congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds.
Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says:
"If the Rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education's of all his children!!"
More sighs and loud applause.
Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Rabbi stays, I vill give him sex!"
There is total silence.
The Rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?"
Sadie's replies:
"Vell, I just asked mein husband how ve could help, and he said, "F... the Rabbi."

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hairdryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confisticate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please."

Living will

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living
room and I said to her,

"I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.

If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.

She's Such A Bitch.....

Had a lazy day today. Did manage to pop to the shops and get a few bits and pieces for the hoglet, mainly some of Spikes world dinners, then ironed the school uniforms and that was about all I managed to do. I didn't intend to do much today anyway. We bought Prickles a bigger box for him to sleep in. Weighed him today and he is now 136gms - was a bit worried about this as nig had him down as 167 to start but has since admitted that he guessed the weight as the woman was talking fast and he didn't get it - he can be so helpful sometimes! So I will keep an eye on it as he really has to get to 500g if he has any chance of survival through winter (may have to overwinter him ) Simon has come home with more forms for swimming galas, he doesn't want to go in for them just yet, but the experience will do him good. He isn't competitive at all, but enjoys being part of a club! So that is all I have to say for now, the day has gone far to quickly, and I face another week at work, though not too long a week as I have a funeral on Wednesday to attend Right better be going there is a glass of wine with my name on

Thank you Evelyn, it was beautiful

here

102 emails

30 of them were spam from this site.

When I checked the spammer no longer exists.

Thank you Blog.co.uk for erasing them

Yes we have another hoglet, this time called Prickles, as he is incredibly prickly and very, very feisty! Like Harriet, he is very underweight and unless he can put on at least 320g before the end of october, he will not be able to get through Winter, so we are trying our best to feed him up. He was found in the same place as Harriet and we now know that the babies were deserted by the mother as the nest was disturbed - evidence of this is that one of the babies has been killed which is probably why the remaining babies have been ending up in our pond! The only thing on him has been fleas, now killed, so not had to do the maggot defesting which I hated Thanks to Angela for all her help when we found him. So we have had Prickles since Thursday Evening and he is doing well. He has calmed down now and isn't so stressed as he was on Thursday and so he has got back into the habit of sleeping during the day and walking around at night which is good, and is getting used to us handling him to check him over periodically as well. We have put him on the grass occasionally when cleaning out the cage he is in, just so that he gets used to walking around outside as well. Hoping that this one makes it, will be devastated if we lose another one In other news, internet connection has been down, hence not being able to get online. Been busy at work as well with too much to do in one day Rugby: Well England were dreadful yesterday, think they must have been watching the cricket and feeling very down. They really seemed as though the didn't have a clue what to do with the ball let alone the opposition! The South Africans must have been wondering who the hell they were playing. Enjoyed the All blacks earlier, playing Portugal who played a hell of a lot better than England did yesterday, now watching Wales, who may wake up soon hopefully! Right see you all later

Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn
that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.

Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.

Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only
have
18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again ?"

Carolyn agreed and again they made love.

Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realised he now had only eight
hours of life left.

He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said, Honey ? Please ? Just one more
time before I die."

She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.

Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and
turned until he was down to only four more hours.

He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. Honey, I only have
four hours left ! Could we...?"

His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Barry, I'm not
being funny ...but I have to get up in the morning and you don't."

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of
April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm
spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat
down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30
years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that
good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and
told him

"Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him,
the little bastard

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
name.

For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After
careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of
course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid
form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable
for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour
himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink,
and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and
just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new
concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
implants
and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,
there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Fresh Minds See Things Differently - a child's point of view:

1. NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up
and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the
shock, I heard my 5-year old shout from the back seat, 'Mom!
that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a
note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed
by this child a re not necessarily those of his parents'

3. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year
old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the
phone to talk to you right now. 'She's hitting the bottle.'

4. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the
women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst
into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's
the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5. POLICE #1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary
school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.
Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a
cop?' Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. 'My
mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is
that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she
said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my
shoe?'

6. POLICE #2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner,
Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is
that a dog you got back there?' 'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of
the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my
afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various
appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The
tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When
she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you
shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know
that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our
minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his
collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year old son and his playmates
had found a dead robin. Feeling that a proper burial should be
performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting.
They dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
deceased The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his
version of what he thought his father always sang: 'Glory be to
the Father, and to the Son, and into the hole he goes.'

10. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school, I'm
Just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I
can't write and they won't let me talk!'

11. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as
he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell
out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was on old leaf that had been pressed in
between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called
out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in
the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's
underwear.'

Sometimes the best lesson in life comes from the
innocent minds of children yet unaltered by today's society.

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following
questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used
bigger
parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his backgroun d. Like is he a crook?
Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a
lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma
says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goof
ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at
work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them .
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your
friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without
medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of
plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was
my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back
of her head.

Happy Birthday hun!

Hope you had a good day

Hugs xxxxxx

Just quickly saying hi, before I dash past again lol!

Hugs xx

Despite the sun shining in a clear blue sky, there is a chill to the air to remind us that Autumn has arrived.

Difficult decision as to what to wear to work this morning as we have the photographer in to do individual photos and for the first time this year staff will have to have theirs done as well. Not enthusiastic about this as I hate having my photo taken and the thought of having it on display is not appealing

Also as we are in one of the warmest classes in the school, by the time they take mine you can bet my hair will be all over the place, and me feeling as though I need another shower!

Oh well in for a good day then lol!

Actually today is nice only in for two hours though that caused a few problems but still the timetable is all over the place so not a lot can be done about it.

Bedding is out on the line, must make the most of the nice weather while it is still with us. House still relatively tidy for a change and children are organised, just.

So not a lot to do other than make sure my bag is packed and head out of that door for another fun packed day Not!!!

Have a good day

Well today has been a little strange.

Managed to get some housework done before heading out of the door to work, where I found out we no longer get a planning hour because it isn't needed.

Why?

Because the teachers give you weekly plans.

Ok this makes sense but there are occasions when you need to make notes on the plans, or alter them slightly is you are working with a small group.

Gradually our jobs are being eroded away. We are not being valued. Not a problem for me because all I want to do is go in do what I have to, then come home again, but for some people they do a lot more than that and they are not at all happy.

We are not even allowed to discuss our day anymore in the staffroom either!

It really is ridiculous.

Apart from that, everything went well.

I am currently trying to get dinner ready. Simon starts diving lessons today so a friend has dropped him off and I need to pick him up then feed him when we get back. we have also managed to co-ordinate timetables as well so we can share the school run - this is great, more Me time yipeeee!

Right better go and check on the vegetables - having roast chicken, roast potatoes, and roast vegetables

Nigel and Simon have been tidying up the front garden and doing some general maintenance to the pond. Behind the pond, where there is a lot of debris, they have found another baby hedgehog, unfortunately it is dead, and obviously has been caught by something. Looks like the nest was definately disturbed then. so the pair of them are now on hands and knees, looking under shrubbery and behind the garage to see if they can see anymore. The plan is to put some food out later and to see if they can find an adult hedgehog, in the hope the mother hasn't abandoned any more babies, or that the nest hasn't been disturbed too much. it isn't looking good, but hubby is determined make sure that if there are anymore they won't die. I am going offline for the evening now, need to get some sleep. Hugs to you all

here

Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy." --Tom
Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex?
Yeah me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have
a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a
date on Saturday night." --Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which
increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief
among these is the Mercedes-Benz
380SL."--Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog
vacation at the taxidermist." --Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a
rope." --Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The
other eight are unimportant." --George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake
whole relationships." --Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter
what she's reading."--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple
Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a
son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or
where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no
matter how bad it is." --Barbara Bush(Former US First
Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of
humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip
out a man's genitals through his wallet." --Robin
Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I
think of it as the only time of the month that I can
be myself." --Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a
place." --Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that
women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are
just grateful." --Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting
that many men are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So
what's the problem?" --Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines,
because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show
me somebody naked." --Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a
woman I don't like and just give her a house." --Rod
Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a
penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by. Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, Lulu told her that the police were passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some. "Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," Grandma said, and she proceeded to the back of the line. A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all the prostitutes. When he got to grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it old girl?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck 'em' dry." The policeman fainted.

here

We popped back to the hedgehog hospital to return everything that we had borrowed from them. The kids came with us and the owner showed us all the hedgehogs currently in her care.

I have always had a thing about hedgehogs and we think we have discovered the run that they use in the our garden. There is a possibility that once the mother hedgehog goes into hibernation the baby ones will have to fend for themselves and because there is not enough time for them to get to the weight they need to be before they are due to hibernate, we will be on the lookout for them to overwinter them.

I have always loved the idea of having a walled garden area. We have a small garden, but at the bottom the grass doesn't grow so over the last couple of weeks have been thinking of walling it off and using it as an area to grow herbs and vegetables in pots maybe. I want a wild garden there as well, somewhere to encourage wildlife to go, and following this weekends fun, we have seriously thought about having a 'safe' walled area to home a hedgehog that can no longer be put in the wild. Hubby is quite keen on this and is now planning away, so something good has come of this all anyway

Right off to have a well earned glass of wine now, and to look at doing some ironing

Today is not a good day. Harriet passed away late yesterday evening. we have been blaming ourselves of course, but in reality we did the best we could have done. This morning we are all feeling a little low, but it will not put us off. If we can help an animal in need we will do. In the meantime we are going to offer our help to the local hedgehog hospital and make a donation or two. Thank you to everyone who have been supporting us with your kind words, sorry if I didn't get to the last few comments we have had a lot to do. Hubby is now digging a hole to bury her in, children want to say a few prayers. I know we are mad but we do it for all our animals. In the meantime here are a couple of photos taken during the afternoon as we were getting the maggots of her. RIP Harriet

Harriet, the hedgehog, is our newly acquired pet. Currently she is snuggled up in her box after a very busy morning, where she has been pulled about and had maggots pulled off her back to make her feel better and more comfortable. Yes the hedgehog survived the night and early this morning hubby phoned the hedgehog hospital in Caddington (thanks Louise) and we took her up there to meet Angela who examined her and treated her. She seemed surprised when we said we would take her back home to look after her, well the poor woman is looking after quite a few hedgehogs at the moment, so armed with equipment she has leant us, and other information to help us look after the hedgehog, she sent us on our way. We have promised to keep in touch with updates. So Harriet, is about 2 weeks old and was probably in the pond for 36 hours - strange as hubby checks the pond everyday but she must have got caught in some pond weed which is why she wasn't noticed sooner. to put her back in the wild now would kill her, the mother would not want to know as she has been away from the nest for too long and she wouldn't survive te winter. So we are attempting to get little Harriet to eat some pureed cat food with weetabix, and drink water. she has to be checked for maggots in her skin every few hours because these can do damage and as they burrow they are fiddly little blighters. She got a lot out at the hospital but we have to keep checking just in case. At the moment she is sleeping in her towel that will have to be changed in a moment. Haven't managed to get a photo of her just yet, but will post one the minute I do.

We have a young hedgehog that is currently residing with us in our house. Eldest son saw him in the pond as he was clearing it, fortunately the water level was quite low. Hubby rescued it and has wrapped him up in towels and put him in a box, with some food. He is currently in the conservatory and is calling for is mum. now here lies the problem. We have no idea where mum is and it is likely that the nest was disturbed because the pond was full of leaves and other bits and pieces that are not usually nearby. So we think that the fox probably got there or cat and disturbed them. We have been on the lookout for an adult hedgehog, we had one in the garden the other day, but so far we haven't seen one. We know from experience that the mother is likely to kill the youngun because it will have been with us and handled, but hubby couldn't leave it to die, he had to give it a chance. so he is now spending the night, in a box, covered in old towels and grass in the conservatory, with the doors closed, safe away from the dogs. he is still calling for mum, and we go in occasionally and talk to it. The poor thing is frightened and probably in shock as well. However his chance of survival is good, and hopefully, he will get through tonight. Tomorrow a phonecall will be made to Tiddywinkles for advice, but for now we are doing what we can.

In the room there is a hospital bed, a telly and a settee. There is very little room to move around in without getting in someone's way.

One chair has had to be removed from the room.

The bed is occupied, the occupant bed bound (her choice). She needs 24 hour care. She had a chest infection, took to her bed and never got out again. She dozes in and out of sleep, covered up by sheets and blankets, a rail up to keep her in though she has been known to move around and get twisted, laying awkwardly. She isn't eating. She struggles to drink. Her carer gives up her time to feed her which is becoming more of a drain. It took two hours today to get her to eat some pureed fruit. She barely drinks. She ignores requests to take a sip of juice or tea. She refuses it, wants to be left alone in her world. Every so often she will make a comment - "pull me up" "leave me alone". She regresses into her own little world a time when she was happy. She will mutter "Should have gone to work today" or "had a good time at the park earlier" but all those who hear know that she hasn't left that bed, will not do so.

The careworkers come in three times a day. Two of them to help wash and change her, to make her comfortable to check for sores and cream them. They chat to her, she does not answer. They sit and talk to keep her company, to give a little respite to the main carer, the daughter, to ease the strain a little so that she can put the washing machine on again for the umpteenth time that day. They tidy away, get rid of the evidence of their presence and move onto their next client that needs their help.

The daughter, the main carer, who promised her mum when she was a young woman that she will look after her, sighs and stands in the kitchen looking out of the window, the pain and strain of her predicament etched on her face. She can't sit in the room with her mum for now, there is too much to do. The washing machine is on again, there is food to prepare and how is she going to get more washing dry when the previous lot isn't yet? She shrugs her shoulders and bows her head.

Her back hurts from trying to get her mum settled into bed properly this morning. She is tired. She is sore. She is depressed, but knows she has to go on. There is too much to do. There is shopping to get, but there is not enough time to do it all in between the constant care that she has to give her mother. She can't remember the last time she saw her grandchildren. she can't remember when she last saw her friends. She no longer goes out unless it is to get medication for herself or to do a quick shop round Asda once a week. She is stuck indoors 24/7, there is no respite from what she faces on a daily basis. Her mother needs 24 hour care and nursing homes are few and far between. She knows that next time the careworkers come there will be more to do, more washing to be done. She has been up since 4.30 this morning and knows she will not see bedtime until about 11 this evening. Most days her youngest daughter is around to help, but she has to work and even she also shows the strain of the burden they share. Dinner takes two hours to spoon feed to the woman in the bed. The same woman who gave birth to her, the same woman who bought her up and looked after her. The same woman who now acts like a baby. And then at some point she will have to feed herself before she starts all over again.

Help? What help? apart from the careworkers who come in three times a day that is all the help she gets. The hospital bed arrived because it was easier to have a bed that rises up so the careworkers don't bend. Occupational health want to put a hoist in, a ramp, make adaptions to the living room, to the bathroom and the hallway. The daughter said no. She knows her mum won't leave the bed and anyway she still has to live in the house when her mum has gone. It is her house.

She needs help not more equipment. Everywhere she looks there is evidence of her mum's confinement. The box of pads the woman wears, the sterilising liquid, the clothes that she needs, the pile of sheets for the bed, the commode that is no longer used, the wheelchair that will not see the light of day again. Everywhere you go, in the small house, you have to move something to get by.

It is no longer the home she loved, the home she raised her children, the home she was happy in. The home she lovingly tidied everyday. the ornaments have gone, been put away to make way for the few things her mum brought with her when she first came to live with her. Was it really only three years ago?

The carpet that she hoovered daily is dirty where her mother kept wetting herself and staining it. The carpet is ruined where it has been cleaned so much. The fireplace that was polished daily until it shone, now stands looking tired and forlorn, the cup stains from where the careworkers leave their cups. The house is barely recognisable as her home except from a couple of photos that hang on the wall. She shuffles her feet along the floor of the kitchen, reloading the machine a tear escaping from her eye.

The letter that came this morning, tells her that she has been unco-operative, that all the suggestions that had been made had been refused by the family. Occupational health, it seems, believes that she is being un-cooperative, that she should have turned her home into a house of equipment, altering everything for the lives of the people that still live in that house. For the people that have to share their living space with a woman that will lay in a bed and not use the equipment that is suggested.

She remembers the day they visited and what they wanted her to do, even telling her that she would have to get rid of the one sofa that remains in that small room. Where will I sit? Where will my visitors sit? She had asked them. This is my home. they tell her they are trying to do the best they can for the patient, to give her some quality of life. That woman who won't leave her bed.
What about me? she asked. What about my quality of life? she questions. But they do not answer, there concern is with the woman, her mother, in the bed.

As she reads the letter she crumples it in her hand and wipes the tears that spill from her eyes. Why? she wails, why don't they listen. Why don't they believe me when I say that this is my home?
She is at the end of her tether, she is lost, she feels so alone.

Why don't they care about the carers?

In the meantime the old woman lays in the bed, her eyes closed against the world, oblivious to all that is around her. She no longer recognises the people that come and go. The ones that try to feed her and tell her to swallow the food they put between her lips. She no longer wants to listen. She is in her world, do not cross it.

She is waiting to die.
She knows he will come for her.
For now she will wait, in her world, behind closed eyes.

The sun is shining again, which doesn't bode well being stuck in a class that is full of windows and very little air. Poor children will be wilting again.

The news this morning is all about Pavarotti dying. A great tenor, who will be missed no doubt but did nothing else happen in the world overnight? did I need Radio Five to tell me over and over again that he had died and then have everyone from Russell Watson to some operatic buff that writes for the Times to tell me that he was dead and how great he was? Oh and have you noticed how no one ever says "I am sorry but I thought x was a better singer!"

This isn't a rant as such, but the only other news was skipped over very quickly, that of additives in food and drink causes hyperactivity in children.

Duh!! Was my thought on that. You didn't need a team of scientists to tell you that. I could have told you that back in the seventies with a sister that was hyper with most food and drink. I have two children who change dramatically when they have fizzy drink. Ask any parent what causes their child to be hyper and they will probably be able to pinpoint the food/drink that does it!

But no we have to be told. It gives an excuse for those parents that don't care really to give their children the same rubbish they have given them since birth, then demand that their child has ADHD, ADD or anything else, thereby those children that have genuine need get passed by.

Does this sound bitter? Not at all. Seen so many children that have been 'labelled' and yet there was nothing wrong that a bit of TLC hasn't cured while others who need help sit there and struggle and teachers struggle to teach, with parents who are desperate for help and not getting it.

it is happening. Inclusion has a lot to answer for, an excuse for LEAs to cut back every year, funding that is fully needed while closing special schools because they are not needed now we can put your child under the inclusion banner.

Drives me nuts.

Oh and just in case you don't know, there is always the update on what was happening 10 years ago today as well to contend with, something else that has been going on all week on a certain radio station - Diana was buried today 10 years ago. They are now playing the speech by her brother on the radio now.

Driving me nuts

Ok new scales have arrived.

One of these ones that tell you not only your weight, but your body fat, how much water etc etc.

Can I work the damm things?

No

Followed the instructions and still I cannot input my information.

they also say I am a stone heavier than the other scales that I have in my bathroom

Not good

Fed up

going to sulk now in front of telly

*glares at evil scales*

Well you have seen those adverts on telly, for magnet Kitchens where the people who are standing in the kitchen say "name one item in your kitchen" and they come out with somethig silly like "colander" so they build the kitchen round the colander, those suberb kitchens that you need to take a mortgage out to pay for them because they wouldn't fit in your small tiny cubbyhole of a kitchen?

Well here is something that I was asked today.

What one item in your house (it can be anything) would sum up you and your family?

I know what mine would be, but what would be yours?

A farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all of his cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues.

It had been a cold night, but he'd never thought anything like this would happen.

The realisation of the situation then dawned on him.

With his entire livestock gone, how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage?

He sat with his head in his hands, trying to come to terms with his impending poverty.

Just then, an elderly woman walked by. "What's the matter?" asked the old lady.

The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman.

Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub a cow's nose. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud.

One by one the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals. The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed.

She declined his offer and walked off across the field.

A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.

"You know who that was don't you?" asked the passer-by.

"No" said the farmer "Who?"

"Thora Hird."

Well it went better than expected.

Timetable worked out ok, and I still have Fridays off, though I have two full days to work to get that which really isn't that bad really.

the kids seem to be nice. A few I have learnt the names of already, mainly because they are the ones whose names you repeat endlessly because they find it difficult to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time.

I have a huge amount of courses to attend this term, all inhouse, the first being tomorrow morning on Child Protection.

My head is buzzing, but mainly because there is a lot to do and haven't really got anything organised to be able to do it or the previous teacher hasn't sent up the required information.

So far so good.

Lets hope it continues.

In other news, shouldn't have had that glass of wine with my dinner, it has gone straight to my head

Two Names You Go By:
1 Mum
2 Faffajane

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1 Jeans
2 blouse

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:
1 Love
2 Laughter.

Two Things You Should Do:
1 Get washing in from the line
2 ironing
(note one of these will not get done )

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1 My hubby
2 For it to be Friday

Two Things You Did Last Night:
1 Cross stitching
2 Drank red wine.

Two Things You Hated Today:
1 Traffic
2 Bad news.

Talked to:
1 Friend
2 Staff.

Two Things you're doing tomorrow:
1 Work
2 WWaiting for phonecall.

Two longest recent car rides:
1 200 odd miles to Devon
2 200 odd miles back home again

Two Favourite Holidays:
1 Summer
2 Christmas

Two Favourite Beverages:
1 Tea
2 Wine

Two Things That Would Surprise You About Me:
1 I am quite quiet and shy
2 I won an award for speaking French.

Two Jobs I Have Had In My Life:
1 Library assistant
2 Playworker.

Two Movies I would watch over and over:
1 The Mummy
2 Pirates of the Caribbean

Two Places I have lived:
1 London.
2 Burnt Oak

Two Favourite kinds of foods:
1 Italian
2 Chinese

Two Places I'd rather be right now:
1 Somewhere hot
2 By the beach

So far the sun shines.

So far I feel organised, though at the moment there is a nagging feeling that I have forgotten something.

Sandwiches are made.
bags are sorted
Children out of bed
All have been showered and looking smart
My bag is packed

Didn't get up in time to do any exercise, mainly as I tossed and turned most of the night as I always do before I start back at work. Expecting it to be hectic and I am sure that there will be a lot of disgruntled staff as there usually are. THings are chaning.

Hmm just realised my blouse is showing a bit more flesh than it should as I havelost a button. Damm and Nigel isn't around to sew it on!!!

In other news, just been through my post notifications. Lots of private posts, if I haven't commented it is because I can't see it, when I click on it the page tells me to log in, yet I am logged in. Also ended up deleting another 10 spam messages from by blog as well! This is driving me mad!

Right better go and get changed and make sure that I have everything.

have a good day.

Hugs xx

Well so far I have been shopping. I have got the last few bits that they needed from school.

Well eldest didn't need anything, though no doubt come Saturday he will present me with a list of things he can't do without!

Youngest got a new bag as his one was falling apart. It came with a free lunch box and fruit bag that caused much excitement - how easily amused he is - and was a bargain at only £8.49 from sport and soccer as well

Also replenished my stock of pens and pencils and brought some clear sticky plastic to cover his school diary.

Now going to look for some piccies to decorate my diary with to distinguish it from the many diaries that are given out to the teachers and TA's!, then label up the school uniform, not much to do, just a new jumper and trousers that need doing

Then off to do some sewing

Then it is back to the grindstone of work, getting kids to school and into some sort of a routine again.

These six weeks have gone far to fast. The weather is better outside now than it has been for all of the six weeks holiday, which is just about typical. Decided I have to get a few bits and pieces still, last minute stuff which I should have got yesterday but didn't, and then I plan on doing the last bits of washing and sitting down to some therapeutic sewing for the rest of the day.

Today will be about me, because I just know tomorrow and the rest of the week is going to be hectic. I just know that whatever I do it will be wrong. That I will spend all my time sorting things out rather than being able to do what I am actually employed to do. It is always like this at the start of term so I know that this year it won't be any different.

C'est la vie and all that jazz, not much I can do but enjoy what today brings and relax

Have a good day.

Hugs xx

So today, after saying I felt better, which I did, I had a dreadful thought.

I am back at work on Wednesday.

A stupid day to start back, but there we are nothing can be done about that.

So today I set to and got some shopping for the week and did some washing and cleared the mountain of ironing.

I would have much rather have sat and sewed, there is so much to do, but at least tomorrow I can sit, relax and sew as everything is done.

Looking at the windows and the over which I still haven't cleaned as I planned during this holiday, I thought bugger it, it can wait. So looks like my weekend will be taken up with that if I can be bothered.

I also managed to make a meat pie for dinner as well in between cleaing the ironing pile and all the other things I had to do today.

So pat on the back for me.

So now I am going to sit down in front of the telly, with my sewing and relax with a lovely glass of chilled wine.

Oh and managed to fit in some exercise as well today

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral!!!"

This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my sixtieth birthday this year, my daughter Rachel (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY :
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY :
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY :
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning; and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair 'monster'. Why the h* would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other s* too.

THURSDAY :
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny b**** to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY :
I hate that b**** Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the D*** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY :
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to
even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY :
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Rachel (the little s***) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

After a weekend of suffering from a massive migraine that left me feeling low, and wanting to throw up all the time, I managed to wake up this morning feeling a better than I did though there is still a slight headache to deal with. The main thing is I am not feeling sick with it.

Knew it had reached its hiatus yesterday morning when hubby opened the curtains and the light hurt like hell - he nicknamed me the vampire!!

So today gingerly managed to force some cereal down my throat and do not have the urge to bring it all back up again, so must be on the mend

Thank you to everyone who sent me get well messages on my last post

Today is bright, some sunshine out there, but an autumnal chill in the air. I have to talk eldest into getting his hair cut, do some ironing and housework and start preparing for the start of another term. Summer holidays have gone to quickly, we are all back on Wednesday and I am not looking forward to it. Still it pays some of the bills so have to go in

Been trying to decide what I want to do in the future. There is no doubt once my youngest starts high school it will be better for me to go back to work full time or at least find a better paying job, but I really enjoy working in schools, though not as a teacher. I am considering asking if I can increase my hours but not sure if I really want to. Ah well I have two years to decide yet and anyway at the moment it is convenient for me to do what I am doing for now

Right enough rambling, better get under that shower, drag a 15 year old from his bed and get a move on before the day passes and I have done nothing again

Have a good day wherever you are

Won't be around much today.

had a fitful nights sleep not helped by hubby shouting at eldest son to go to bed at 3 this morning.

To add insult to injury,as well as a major headache making me feel sick, it seems that I may have an infection in my ear, and not in the ear I usually have them, so I feel as though everyone is speaking to me through cotton wool today.

Also go dizzy when I get up a sure sign it is an ear infection as it usually makes me feel as though I have vertigo

Back is playing up as well and where is hubby?

Football!!!!!

SpursVFulham - hope spurs lose not that I am vindictive or anything!!!!

Right rant over, need to lay down again.

hugs xxx