Spread your wings and fly away

Where is Landers hiding?

Is he buried under boxes and trying to find his way out?

Is he trying to get his new home in order?

Is he working?

Where oh Where is he?

Where is WelshCelt girl?

In fact there are a few on my friends list I haven't seen for a while.

has Blogland swallowed them?

I once saw a fight between a rat and a hedgehog. It was a close run thing, but the hedgehog finally won on points.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th December
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the
Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a
small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as
Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among
employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over
$10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This
gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a
special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

*FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th December
RE: Holiday Party*

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often
coincides with Christmas. However, from now on we're calling it our
'Holiday Party.' The same policy applies to any other employees who are
not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols
sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline

*FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th December
RE: Holiday Party*

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
'AA Only,' you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to
handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the
Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management
believes $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline

*FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 8th December
RE: Holiday Party*

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the
Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a
luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'
beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until
the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take
home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest
to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, but Lesbians do
not have to sit with gay men: each will have their own table. Yes, there
will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table, too.

To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing
allowed unless the Supreme Court intervenes before the 23rd.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be
available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the
food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food
first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, but the
restaurant cannot supply 'No Sugar' desserts. Sorry! Did I miss
anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline

*FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F** Employees
DATE: 9th December
RE: The **** Holiday Party*

Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the 'grill of death,' as you so
quaintly put it; you'll get your f** salad bar, including organic
tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you
slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drink, drive and die, Jesus-hating
Scum!

Pauline (AKA 'That Bitch in HR')

*FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 12th December
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party*

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy
recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the
meantime, Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and,
instead, give everyone the afternoon of December 23rd off with full pay.

Apparently DHL now owe me compensation, would like my credit card details so that they can pay me.

oh Please!!!!

It is very cold this morning. I really did not want to get out of bed and the dogs were reluctant to venture outside and do their morning constitutionals. In fact one is now curled up in a tight ball in his basket, the other is curled up trying to get the last of the warmth left on Simons bed!

I am covered in a rash on my ankles and thighs. Have no idea what it is, but it itches like mad. On top of it all I have come down with a cold as well, my nose resembles a tap and refuses to stop dripping, my throat feels sore as well and a tickly cough seems to be developing. Therefore I have dosed myself up with Echinacea, vit C and Beechams as well as rubbing tea tree cream on the rash to stop it from itching.

Not a good start to the day really, hopefully it will get better.

However on a more positive note I managed to get some sleep last night, the first decent night's sleep in a few days, so that is good!

Right better get ready for work - oh joy!

Have a good day everyone

Have some fun with this http://www.scottsmind.com/games/evil-santa/