Spread your wings and fly away

I went to a party,

And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mum
So I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,

And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,

Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mum
Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,

As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mum

Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mum

I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mum,

As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mum!'
So I love you and good-bye.

At this time of year it we see many people out celebrating with friends and families, drinking and eating and having fun.

But let us remember one simple thing: Drinking and driving is dangerous. If you see someone get in a car to drive and they have been drinking alcohol, please try to stop them. Having lost a colleague to someone who did just that I know how much devastation it causes. Please take care over this festive season and keep safe.

hugs xx

THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?" The father, surprised,
answers, "Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a
woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties &
forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After
fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them, and they
make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how
many types of "willies" are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and
answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties,
his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties &
forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his
fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree??"

"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00.'

'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.'

As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.'

'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'.

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'

'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks
again.'

'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'

'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'

'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.' !

SMART ANSWER 6

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ANSWER 5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ANSWER 4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of
Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

SMART ANSWER 3

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the bobby said.
The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ANSWER 2

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!"

SMART ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell on the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovere d that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped t he cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on the top of the Christmas tree.

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, " Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind." The biker thought about it for a long time Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?."

here

After having dug to a depth of 10 meters recently, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters, and shortly after, headlines in the English newspapers read: "English archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots." One week later, "The Kerrymen," a southwest Irish newspaper reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in peat bog near Tralee, Paddy O'Driscoll, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Paddy has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Ireland had already gone wireless."

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.--Oprah Winfrey

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou are not so unkind
As man's ingratitude.--William Shakespeare (As You Like It)

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.--William Arthur Ward

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.--Cicero

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.--Melody Beattie

Gratitude takes three forms: a feeling in the heart, an expression in words, and a giving in return.--John Wanamaker

Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don't unravel.--Anonymous

If "thank you" is the only prayer you say, that will be enough.--Meister Eckhart

Keep a grateful journal. Every night, list five things that you are grateful for. What it will begin to do is change our perspective of your day and your life.--Oprah Winfrey

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.--Saint Ambrose

No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope or fear;
But, grateful, take the good I find,
The best of now and here.--John Greenleaf Whittier

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes of which all men have some.--Charles Dickens

Silent gratitude isn't very much to anyone.--Gertrude B. Stein

Thou has given me so much... Give me one thing more, a grateful heart.--George Herbert

... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present--love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure--the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.--Sarah Ban Brethnach
Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.--Estonian Proverb

I once saw a fight between a rat and a hedgehog. It was a close run thing, but the hedgehog finally won on points.

The sun is shining and has cleared the morning fog away. I was debating on going out but when I headed out to the pet store for some pressies for the dogs I decided against it - nothing worse than being stuck in traffic! So I will get up early tomorrow for the last minute vegetables for my Christmas dinner instead!

Panto yesterday was really great. Felt sorry for the actors who were performing to a half empty theatre, but it is new and I am sure most people are still going to Milton Keynes for the panto rather than the new theatre! They were great though, everyone had fun and Brian Blessed was just fantastic! For a 71 year old he can certainly move and he had the audience in stitches! Definately the best Captain Hook I have seen anyway.

The kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves though I am sad my 16 year old has decided this will be his last panto, he is too old for them now. I personally don't think you are too old to go to a Panto but it has to be his decision.

Today will be spent mostly preparing for Christmas as usual, some tidying up to do and the big decision as to what to have for dinner, though I think I will just put some food on a plate and tell them to get on with it!

Right better go and catch up on some posts

Have a good day