Spread your wings and fly away

Why men don't write advice columns

Dear Walter: I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off
for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I
hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out
and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my
husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was
in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to
her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve
years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into
the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but
found her unconscious He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid
her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began
thanking him and kissing him, and he was attempting to break free
when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any
clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an
affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave
him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has
been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very
much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become
increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.
Can you please help me with my problem?
Sincerely, Mrs. Sheila Usk

Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a
variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is
no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips
holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these
approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself
is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor float
chamber. I hope this helps. Walter

The Government are going to put fluoride in our water. This is very bad news for people with hypothyroidism because fluoride makes it worse.

However, it will not just concern the thyroid. Fluoride is a poison and it can cause a great deal of problems to the population, including birth defects.

It has not even been proved that it helps children's teeth, in fact some dentists think it is the exact opposite. Many countries round the world and in Europe have banned fluoridation of their water.
Fluoride is one of the basic ingredients in both PROZAC (FLUoxetene Hydrochloride) and Sarin Nerve Gas (Isopropyl-Methyl-Phosphoryl FLUORIDE) - (the same Sarin Nerve Gas that terrorists released on a crowded Japanese subway train!). Sodium Fluoride is nothing more (or less) than a hazardous waste by-product of the nuclear and aluminium industries. In addition to being the primary ingredient in rat and cockroach poisons, it is also a main ingredient in anaesthetic, hypnotic, and psychiatric drugs as well as military NERVE GAS! Yet the Government want to have it added to our drinking water!

There is a good article here by a husband and wife team who have looked into this

Independent scientific evidence over the past 50 plus years has shown that sodium fluoride shortens our life span, promotes various cancers and mental disturbances, and most importantly, makes humans stupid, docile, and subservient, all in one neat little package. There is increasing evidence that aluminium in the brain is a causative factor in Alzheimer's Disease, and evidence points towards sodium fluoride's strong affinity to 'bond' with this dangerous aluminium (remember it is a by-product of aluminium manufacturing) and also it has the ability to 'trick' the blood-brain barrier by imitating the hydrogen ion thus allowing this chemical access to brain tissue.

There is a petition that can be signed, not that I think it will help afterall when has the government ever listened to the voice of the people! However if you want to sign it can be found here

EDIT Fluoride naturally occurs in water in many areas, the Government wants to add even more fluoride drinking water, which in greater quantities could prove to be harmful. Some water companies do add fluoride to the water others don't. It depends on where you live as to whether you currently have fluoride in your water or not. Check with your water company website to find out if you have fluoride added to your water or not.

Happy

Of course this will not last long as I have to go back to work tomorrow but I have at least done some of the things on my list today.

I have:

booked the dogs into the kennels for when we go away in August. Mind you nearly had a heart attack when told how much it will cost as it is almost double what we usually pay, but on the up side, they are being housed in the new block which will give them more room, their own piece of land outside to play on, they can have a telly if they so wish (do you think I am that silly really), though they can have their radio playing (ok I am that silly). They also have underfloor heating as well though doubt if they will need it in August!

Next finally managed to get the travel insurance sorted. Yes I know I should have done this ages ago, but we were quoted an astronomical price for very little by the travel company and also by my building society I have to add, so did a bit of hunting around and for what we want I have managed to get a good price with Insure and go, the firm that we had last time. Bonus to this is I phoned them up and managed to get another 5% off the internet price as well as I had been with them before

Then managed to book airport hotel and parking booked as well. Looked up the price on the internet for the hotel we wanted (premier inn) and then phoned them up and got a good price with them as well - they are even allowing Simon to be in the same room though technically that will be three adults and 1 child, but as I said I wasn't happy with him having another room.

So now all Ihave to do is upgrade some tickets, pay off the holiday and get some more spending money *eekk* not as easy as it sounds lol

Getting excited now

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princesses, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT...make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

"Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself".

"Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

"Now....what is the moral to this story?
">Scroll down

The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....

Things are going to get ugly

The Stranger
A few years after I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small town.
From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mum taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger ... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries, and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future!
He took my family to the football and cricket. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mum would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home ... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked ... And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. If you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
His name?
We just call him 'TV.'
* *Note: This should be required reading for every household!
He has a wife now ... We call her 'Computer'.

Three little ducks go into a Bar.............................

"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

"Huey," was the reply.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?"

"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.

"So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked.

"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. ?Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?"

"No," she said, batting her eyelashes.

"My name is Puddles."

here

No I haven't dropped of the face of the earth again, I did my back in instead, so my absence from blogland was an enforced as sitting down became incredibly agonising!

However I am a lot better today even managed to do some stretching exercises which is a lot better than I was on Friday where any sort of movement caused my back to go into spams!

Valentines day went well. We headed off to the British museum to see the Terracotta army. Hubby decided that we should walk to the local rail station to get the train - you know the one where it is only 35mins into London? Well don't believe it. The 10.15 train started of well, then just outside Luton it came to a stop where we sat for about 20 mins twiddling our thumbs and making small talk. Then the sorry speech from the driver. There was a 'fatality' at West Hampstead, so the fast train we were on, was now backed right up behind several other trains and waiting to be allowed to continue on its journey - which when it did meant that the fast train was now the slow train hence us not getting into St Pancreas International until 11.45!

Now this is the first time I have been to St.Pancreas and my first thought was how cold it was there. In fact it was warmer outside than it was in the station. As we had to queue to get tickets (we couldn't purchase them from the office at our station as the computer had gone down) we were all shivering despite us all being layered up. Walking through St Pancreas one of the first things I noticed was the amount of coffee/food bars there were. There was also a Hamleys as well and something else which I can't remember the name of, but it looked quite nice though I wasn't allowed to even window shop there. However something did catch all our eyes, in hubby's case causing them to pop out of his sockets - this woman walked past us with the hugest breasts you have ever seen - in fact they would have made Jordan's look like tennis balls in comparison. they were unnaturally large on her thin body that almost everyone she passed turned and stared. we decided, or rather hubby did, that they had to be false mainly because they didn't move as she walked and were tucked under her chin, but I can't imagine anyone wanting to make them that big - even her t shirt struggled to sit over them! Eldest son, in the way that 16 year olds do, tried very hard not to look mainly as he was embarrased that mum and dad were there, but even he looked round a couple of times to have a sneaky look

Anyway started to walk down the road when hubby says "Righto we will go into the Engineer for dinner before we make our way to the British Museum"

I pointed out that the pub we entered was actually called the Euston Flyer and not the Engineer, but silly me of course the football crowd would rename it! THe food is delicious there though and worthwhile a visit. Hubby had Gammon steak, I had Chilli with rice and tortilla chips which was delicious, Simon had homemade chicken and bacon pie with mustard mash, brocoli and carrots which he thoroughly enjoyed. Youngest, well he never eats anything worthwhile but he did manage a few chips and some garlic bread

We walked to the British Museum, which was my first visit I have to admit, since I was a child. I don't remember much of it, but I can say it was impressive as were the exhibits. Simon was engrossed at reading everything while I tried to keep Richard amused by finding exhibits he would like. However he was fascinated by the statues and their missing "percy's" ( his words not mine) in fact so fascinated that he had to shout at the top of his voice "This one is missing his percy as well mum!" You can always guarantee that he will embarrass you somewhere.

Then there we are standing in the clock room, and exhibition of clocks, when hubby asks me what the time is. What do I do? Yes I look at the watch on my wrist - cue much laughter from the other three.

We had a worthwhile cup of tea, very expensive must make up for the fact that it is free entry somehow, before we made our way to the reason for our visit - to see the Terracotta army. Very impressive, well thought out and though i would have liked to have seen more I learnt more about it than I did before.

Walking back to the station then having to walk home the other side, I was totally exhausted and in a lot of pain, but we all had a good time and at least the kids can say they have been somewhere during this holiday.

Best bit for me was seeing the oriental exhibition and the Egyptian exhibition, loved both of them. Hubby loved seeing the Rossetta stone and the Elgin Marbles so at least he was happy