Spread your wings and fly away

Just a quick post as I am inbetween trying to sort out youngest for school tomorrow and reading a mountain of reports for a governors meeting also taking place tomorrow.

Today, first day, all went well. everyone friendly and I am trying to find out who is who and what is what. Longest day today as we had a meeting after work that I have to attend as well!! But I enjoyed it and that is the main thing. So dashed home fed everyone and now am trying to get 101 other things done as well.

thanks for good luck messages, really appreciated. Hope to catch up with you all later in the week when I have managed to get the next couple of days over with!

Hugs xxx

You will love this:

As the saying goes "one door closes, another opens" and that is how I feel at the moment.

The expectancy of what will happen tomorrow and for the rest of the week. A new job, a promotion, a need to do well and prove myself capable of the challenges that lay ahead.

It is exciting. I was expecting to feel a little apprehensive but there is none of that, just excitement.

Mind you there is a slight problem to deal with - a cold that is refusing to budge, a cough that is threatening to develop epic proportions which hopefully I am stopping by throwing vit C, Echincea, beechams, and cough medicine down my throat as well as some zinc for good measure!

It has been an unpredictable day here so far. So far we have had sun, hailstones, thunder, sun, torrential rain, wind, sun, hailstones so on and so forth. At the moment all is calm, muggy but no sun oh and by the looks of the way the trees are moving, some wind lol!

Oh well end April with a freak weather pattern!

Hugs xx

Hubby came home early, had some lunch and because we were low on milk, suggested a trip to the local Aldi.

Now I know what our local Aldi is like, and it isn't all that great, but enticed by the advert on telly - cucumber only 49p, brocolli only 49p - hubby suggested a trip was needed. Afterall they do sell other things there he says, hoping that he may, just may, beable to pick up a drill or tool box on the cheap no doubt.

So there we are, walking around Aldi, watching this dotty woman try and get her trolley down an aisle that wasn't meant for trolleys and knocking everything off in the process - hubby gallantly helped her out - hubby going through all the racks of clothing (well two of them) in search of a bargain while I examined cucumbers, brocoli and potatoes.

Eventually we make it to a cash desk. A queue that goes halfway round the shop and one till open. Eventually one of the gormless shop assistants (sorry not all shop assistants are gormless just the ones at this particular branch) comes along and asked the person behind us if he was waiting to be helped.

"yes" says the person, "I am waiting to pay for my goods, anychance of you opening up a till?" which I thought was better a reply than I would have come up with.

So they open up a till, everyone rushes to it and they decide to close it and open up another one - cue much rushing to this one, which, again they close and open up the original one

By this time the one everyone had been queuing at was now getting down to a reasonable size so people decided to wait there while we wited at the other one. And there she was again - dotty old lady "I want to return this" she says holding up a plant.

"Why?" asks the cashier

"Because I wanted a climber and this is a ground cover plant"

hubby bursts out laughing, it says on the pack quite clearly ground cover.

So there we stand while the cashier tries to refund the dotty woman for the plant and then sort out the goods that needed paying for which the dotty woman didn't want to exchange for the plant (that would have been too easy) oh no she wanted the money for the plant which she then paid for the goods with!!!

In the meantime, with much rolling of eyes, cashier throws a sign at hubby with the words of put that there will you (till closed sign), which hubby places on the conveyor belt. We stand there patiently waiting when this woman comes along behind Nigel, reads the 'till closed' notice then proceeds to load her shopping on the belt.

Cashier "I'm closing!!" she shouts while still trying to deal with dotty woman who is making a right hash of filling out the refund form with her details and has the entire contents of her bag out on the canveyor belt in the effort to find something.

"what?" says woman

"Oh forget it" says the cashier who has clearly given up the will to live by this time, and trust me I know how she was feeling.

We finally managed to get out of the store, load up the car with our few items.

"weel I have been, I have seen and I won't go back again" said hubby.

"but the veg was cheap" says I

"Yes but I am not going there again" he says

Yes we spent little but trust me we lost a few precious minutes of our life that can not be taken back in a hurry

The windscreen Wiper!

Yes dear reader, today the humble windscreen wiper is 100years old.

Gladstone Adams came up with the idea exactly a century ago as he drove home from London through a snowstorm having watched Newcastle United play Wolves in the 1908 FA Cup final.

The first Windscreen wipers fitted to early models of the iconic Citroen 2CV were powered mechanically by the engine, and varied with its speed. When the car came to a halt, so did the wipers, and the driver had to operate them manually using a handle under the dashboard. Today they are controlled by their own electric motor, though some vehicles with air brakes use air-operated wipers.

In 1969 the first intermittent wipers with adjustable speed were introduced.

Formula One cars do not have windscreen wipers. The driver's helmet visor has a number of clear films covering it, which he can remove one by one when rain and dirt build up.

So there you are, you learn something new everyday lol!

.....................................................................
In other news, the Wii fit is due for release today - shame I haven't got a Wii!

On this day:
In 1214 Louis IX, king of France (1226-70), born.

In 1284 Edward II, king of England (1307-27), born.

1599: Oliver Cromwell, English civil war leader and Lord Protecto was born

1792 - The guillotine was first used to execute highwayman Nicolas J. Pelletier.

In 1840 Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky, Russian composer (1812 Overture), born

1874: the birth of Guglielmo Marconi, Inventor of radio

1918: The birth of Ella Fitzgerald, US jazz singer

1928 - A seeing eye dog was used for the first time

1940: The birth of Al Pacino, American actor

In 1945 Bjorn Ulvaeus, rock vocalist/guitarist (ABBA), born.

In 1956 Elvis Presley's Heartbreak Hotel goes #1.

In 1958 Fish, rock vocalist (Marillon), born.

In 1969 Renee Zellweger born

And to conclude I was:

born on a Monday.
My star sign is Taurus.
The season was Spring.
I am 42 years, 0 months, 0 days old.
It is 365 days until your next Birthday.
I am 15,341 days old.
I am approximately 368,194 hours old.
I am approximately 1,325,501,453 seconds old.

Thanks to all of you who sent me birthday wishes this morning, much appreciated. I have been spoilt so far. Lots of money sent by relatives and a Radley Bag bought by my husband from him and the boys

today will be spent catching up on housework, washing and ironing, have a busy night and weekend ahead of me before I start my new post on Monday so need to be on top of things.

however have my leaving do to look forward to tonight, just hope I stay awake long enough to enjoy it - had a bad night last night so very little sleep - think I will go back to bed when I have done my chores lol!

Well the sun is shining, just wish I knew how long it would shine for, but you can bet that it will not be long. Weather predictions are for rain so not likely to get the washing out on the line then!

Right better get on with the work, it won't get done if I sit here all day lol!

have a good day everyone

hugs xxxx

As seen here

1. What is your favourite comedy film
Shaun of the Dead, A fish Called Wanda, Some like it hot, to name just a few......

2. What is your favourite comedy on TV
My Family

3. Who is your best Comedy actor/actress?
Alistair Simms (sad I know!)

4. If you could write a comedy what would it be about?
My own family (honestly it would be very funny!) people often say I should write about it

5. What is the Funniest thing you have ever seen be it in person or on a TV show or film?
I couldn't say the person concerned reads my posts lol

As I looked out of the window this morning, I noticed that the apple tree, in a neighbour's garden, has buds developing on it - at last the blossom is beginning to appear. This, surprisingly, has made me quite cheerful, because it means that despite the weather we are having, spring has now arrived. Stupid i know, but I don't feel that it truly has until that blossom appears, however still not heard the cuckoo yet

I have to take my youngest son to his Nans this morning, as his teacher is one of the striking ones. I don't mind, I will make sure he will have work to do, he isn't getting off that easily. I have to go to work still though, no rest for the wicked is there lol! Only some of our school are on strike, so only the classes of striking teachers are not in school today, the rest are. Hopefully it will be a quiet day. The teacher I work with, has decided that we are going to have a D.T. day today. The children are making purses, we are going to do this all day (oh joy) with a party during the last lesson. It will be good for the to have the day of timetable really.

At the moment I am feeling quite positive, looking forward to new challenges. In a way I am looking forward to a new start on Monday, though I know by the end of today I will probably be in tears - it is sad leaving somewhere that you have enjoyed working at, but hey sometimes you just have to move on!

Right enough of this have to go and get ready!

Hope everyone has a good day

hugs
xxxxxx

Well Wednesday has arrived and yes it is St. George's Day. The house down the road from us has his flag flying proudly and hubby hasn't managed to put his one up yet, which is late for him because usually it is up there flying away. However the last one we had was up all year round, but got damaged by high winds. I do think that we should have St. George's day as a bank holiday, it is time we celebrated it. I am not against embracing other cultures, in fact I am very happy for them to celebrate their identity. Here we have a variety of cultures living alongside each other, as in many other parts of the country. We have a wide range of Asian communities, Indian, Chinese, cultures live alongside each other in relative peace, Polish, Greek, Italian and Irish as well as the British. Hubby considers himself English and refuses to be known as British. He believes England should have its own identity and coming from a family that can trace both sides back to Wimbledon (yes his family are Wombles) to 1790 he feels he has a right to be called English. I have a mixture of Ancestry running through my veins so say I am British, English by birth as I was born in England. Others can make of that what they may. Every year there is a big celebration in town for St. Patricks day. There is also an Asian Mela for where you can celebrate the Asian culture. There is also a Festival of lights for Diwali. Only in recent years has the town done anything for St. George's day and then again it isn't advertised widely like the others are - it is almost as if it is embarrassed or worried it will upset someone if it is mentioned. Long term readers of my blog may remember that we tend to celebrate St. George's day by visiting Wrest Park, a National Trust property that puts on a festival to celebrate the weekend before the day itself if SGD is not on that weekend. This year, reluctantly, we decided against it because the weather was so bad and there really isn't much shelter from the wind there either. I have missed going, the children, particularly Richard, enjoys watching George fight the dragon. So our patron saint, St. George, is also patron Saint of Catalonia (Spain), England, Portugal, Georgia, Serbia, Bulgaria, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Republic of Macedonia. Most countries who observe St. George's Day, celebrate it on 23 April, the traditionally accepted date of Saint George's death in 303 AD. St. George's Day is a provincial government holiday in Newfoundland, Canada. On that I will leave you and wish you a happy St. George's day. Have a good one Hugs xxxxx

This morning, woken by the dawn chorus, even though a peak through the curtain showed me it was still dark outside, I lay in bed lisitening to all the different bird calls. I wish I could identify them all, but alas the one I can do, hasn't appeared yet - the cuckoo.

I was tempted to creep down the stairs, sit in the conservatory with a lovely cuppa and watch the activity outside, but sense prevailed and I managed to get another hours kip in - afterall a woman needs her beauty sleep even if it is disturbed by the birds calling to each other!

Logging on this morning I see Google has a lovely picture this morning. Now apparently it is for Earth day. Lookingon the official website for Earth day this took place on March 20 - if memory serves me right weren't we encouraged to turn lights off at 9pm on that day? Further searching on Google though shows me that quite a few countries celebrate it today, which is probably why I haven't heard about it happening on the radio - I am sure Nicky Campbell would have gloated over it if it was happening here today in his smug like way!!

So on that note I will leave you to your day. Here the sun is trying to break through, though it is rather misty outside, I have work later then need to take the car to the garage to find out why I keep getting a light popping up once in a while and then I have the housework to do - oh joy what fun we do have!

Hope you all have a good day

Hugs and take care

xxxxxx

So that is it. Another weekend over with, gone all too soon and here we are again, Monday morning, the start of another working week.

The weeks seem to get longer, well they feel like it anyway. If I feel like this now how will I cope when I do 34hours a week? Mind you I will be kept busy which is good so at least the time will pass easily, well I hope so anyway lol

So my last week at this place looms ahead of me. Lots needs to be done, not enough time to do it in, but that is the way with life really isn't it?

It is dull out there this morning, the birds started singing early and we could hear the animals move about searching for whatever the birds had left them. the squirrels are having a scrounge on the bird feeder at the moment, the magpies are getting on my nerves as they are chasing the blue tits away - we seem to have a lot of magpies this year, may have to train the dogs to bark at them!!

So it isn't the cats keeping the small birds away from the feeder it is the magpies!

Right enough of this rambling on about nothing of consequence, better get a shift on and make sure everything is ready for work.

Have a good day

hugs xxx

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out

Vents we re checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods

I just love happy endings don't you!!

A good example of "Spin Doctors" at work.
How politics really works......

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."

Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary's staff sent back the following biographical sketch:

Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisitions of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.

And that, folks, is how it's done!!

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

Well, it was like this, said the man. I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball........stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake.

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"
.......................................................................

Two women were playing golf.

One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked,'How does that feel'?

He replied: "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.

As your eyes meet, across a crowded room, you take a sharp intake breath.

The sense of electricity travelling through your body when your hands touch briefly.

That stomach churning moment as he/she looks your way and smiles.

That feeling of being on a high as they lean in and kiss you, first softly, questioningly, then, as confidence increases, the way your body feels on fire as the kiss gets more passionate, your tongues explore, probe expectantly, questioning.

Your pulse races, you feel the electricity seep through every pore on your body. You feel light, carefree, excited.

You wait expectantly for their call, your stomach churning with excitement, the butterflies doing somersaults everytime your phone rings. the way when you meet you feel lightheaded, you want him so much your body is crawling with desire.

You feel his breath on your hair and your scalp tingles. As he puts his arm around you, his fingertips gently stroking your back, you shiver with delight, you feel his hot breath in your ear, his tongue licking your earlobe.......but wait,

it isn't what you expect,

it isn't tender and it is very, very wet.................................................................................................

And you wake from your dream to find the dog licking your ear, because that is the only way he knows how to wake you to let him out!

Where would I be without my Sunday fix of this site.

As usual as I logged on this morning, I just had to take a look and there, right there, are the postcards that make you smile, make you think, make you agree and have some empathy or sympathy with the person who wrote it.

This one made me smile purely because it is the silly things that we do that make us smile. I am not averse to putting silly things in shopping trolleys and I have to admit doing just as this postcard suggests in my time. Mind you hubby is just as bad. We have a girl that works in the local Sainsburys on the checkout. Everyone avoids her. You can see people rushing to her till because they notice it is empty, or maybe just one person standing, waiting, while all the other tills have queues forming. The reason people avoid her is because she likes to talk. About anything. Nothing wrong in that, but as she does it she will examine every item you have put on her conveyor belt as she flashes it across the screen in front of her so that it beeps, and tell you a funny story that she has about that product.

For example, a bottle of shampoo and she told me about the time her boyfriend got some of that particular make in his eye as he was washing his hair and how he had to go to hospital with a grin on her face because she found it amusing - and you stand and smile at her. The cucumber she picks up and tells you about the film she saw where they were using cucumbers as a sex toy and how much she enjoyed the film. You will be there for ages as she discusses each and every item with you. If you are lucky she will just say "ohhh they are a new product are they nice" in which you get away with just a yes afterall you wouldn't be buying them if they weren't now would you (unless it is the first time you had ever bought that particular product).

Anyhow, hubby decides one day that enough is enough. So as we walk around the shop he starts to put several different packets of condoms in the trolley, some ky jelly, some plasters, and underwear from the clothing section just to see what she says. And yes she examines it all, turns and says to him "Oh you are in for a good night then" to which he replies "Yes I thought I practice my balloon modelling skills".

She hasn't spoken to him since.

See I told you she was weird

And then there is this: Because I am lucky. I have a wonderful husband, two lovely children, good friends and family and my health. When I think back to what might have been, it would have been a completely different scenario altogether, so yes I am lucky, I am alive, happy and healthy.

What more could a girl want?

At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I like you so much!!" "No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" "NO, no. I just can't." "Pleeeeease?..." Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"

We went to MK this morning, hoping that he was going to buy my birthday present which he didn't and despite a few hints at what I want I can't see me getting it either which is disappointing. Anyway digress. I read somewhere about some flip flops called fit flops and on another british site I frequent the users were raving about them as they are based on the same type of style as the MBT trainers but for a lot less money. Anyway popped into John Lewis where I managed to track down a pair in red, but found that due to my high instep I couldn't get my feet into them, they are quite tight across the top!! so in the long run I saved myself some money. Mind you I have to say we haven't had the weather for wearing flip flops of any kind really have we? As I type this it is raining out there, yet again, and it really feels quite chilly as well. I have a few things that I planned to do today but don't feel like doing now, mind you the thought of having to take youngest child to his swimming lesson at 5 doesn't help!

We went food shopping one of them chores you just hate doing. Considering all I got was the basics to get through the week on and no extras I fine my food bill has increased a lot more. What with the bills rising, the cost of petrol spiraling out of control and everything else you have to pay for rising out of control was there any wonder that the man in the Abbey was shocked when he asked me if I wanted to take out an ISA or a savings plan when I was trying to pay some money into the household account to cover the mortgage and a few other bills.

I politely declined by saying "Are you having a laugh love? There isn't enough money to pay the bills let alone to save!" and walked away as he handed me my receipt.

There are days when I just hate going into banks or building societies. They always try to sell you something! I know they probably have to try but when you are struggling to keep the wolves from your door, the last thing you need is yet another credit card, mortgage, savings plan or insurance product - particularly in this day and age when you are trying to make ends meet due to the spiraling costs of everything!

Right better get off my soapbox before I bore you all to tears!

Have a good day

Hugs xxx

Just been reading this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7351252.stm

What I hoped would be the annual round of hayfever I suffer from has actually turned out to be a full blown cold.

Woke this morning with the usual symptons - dripping nose, blocked sinuses (trust me you can have both), the inability to breathe, the throat that feels like someone has scrapped the inside of it with a sharp implement and one ear is blocked as well which is why I keep asking people to repeat everything when they are on the left hand side!

Popped into work briefly, son is in trouble so felt I needed to let the school know I will back them 100% whatever action they take with him.

Funny smell in the dining room then realised that hubby has put some mustard cress in the bird cage, not that they are eating it, rather looking at it as though it will fight them!

Right enough of this nonsense, catch up on posts and do some housework!!

have a good day everyone!!

hugs xxxx

Starts with a grrrrr!

Turn on computer to read emails.

start to type a reply to one

There is marmalade on the keyboard!!!

Eldest child will now be in trouble!

In other news sun is trying hard to shine but not being too successful at the moment. Dogs are being a pain, a pheasant was seen in the field and it came up to the fence and popped his head through the hole so now the dogs keep wanting to go outside every five minutes to see if it is still there!

Then the hedgehog population invaded the garden last night, Simon thinks one of them may be prickles, we shall see, will look out for them tonight.

Not a very interesting morning post is it lol!

Oh and I have either hayfever or a cold, thinking it may be a cold as I have been taking my hayfever tablets and it never gets this bad when I start taking them.

Right off to sort out the kids who are arguing

Have a good day

hugs

Samantha xx

I have decided work is bad for my health.

I read somewhere that you should take some time out to do what you enjoy doing. Inmy case that is blogging and interacting with people and work interferes with that! As a result I am missing posts as I do not have time to catch up with them all, so forgive me if I haven't commented, I do try to pass by and read even if I don't comment.

On top of it all, Simon needs the computer for his studies so my computer time has been reduced - one day I will have enough money to justify buying a wireless router so everyone will be happy - mind you that is if the laptop will work with it, it is rather temperamental at communicating!!

In other news, the sun is shining again but there is a chill in the air. I was rather tempted to put a skirt on this morning, but because of the rash on my leg wearing stockings is not a good idea as they irritate it, so decided on a pair of trousers instead. We have a buffet lunch at work today as one of my colleagues leaves - only a week and one day to go and I leave as well lol!!

Right better get a move on, hurry the kids up and get out of that door to work!

Have a good day everyone!!

Hugs xx

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was not correct
So he won ten grand with Claims Direct

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
HUSBAND: Definitely not!
WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?
HUSBAND: Of course I do.
WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again.
WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (Makes audible groan).
WIFE: Would you live in our house?
HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house.
WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?
WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?
HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new.
WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?
HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed.

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! (must admit I use this one with my children all the time!)

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. (oh so true!)

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

Was my first thought this morning. Then I realised it was only 5am, the alarm hadn't gone off, but what I could here was the birds being busy out in the garden, making a lot of noise as they called to each other. Mind you Hubby hadn't noticed the window was open when he closed the curtains last night hence I could hear them better than usual!

The sun shines, but it feels cold outside and there is a scattering of frost on the ground and car. It really looks rather pretty outside.

Right time to have some breakfast and to make sure the children are ready for school!

Have a good day everyone!

Hugs xxxx

There are some people who buy themselves a new piece of equipment and play with it until they have sussed on how it works and are happy.

Some people buy a new piece of equipment and read the instructions from cover to cover while playing with their new toy.

MIL buys a new piece of equipment, in this case a digital camera, then brings it round to me to show her how to use it!
However it didn't come with an SD card, which she has now gone home with, and yes though it has an internal memory, I couldn't seem to get it set up so that it stored images on the SD card rather than the internal memory. Mind you I was trying to do this while her son showed his friend, the buildre, round the house to get even more ideas for extension/house rebuilt by the sounds of it, with me grunting every now and then everytime a question was asked of me!

What makes me laugh is she has no idea what she is buying let alone how to use it. It isn't simple. I don't even think the software that comes with it will work on her computer, as her computer is older than mine is - have an awful feeling Windows may need an upgrade

Still she has gone away for now happy, determined to take some pictures over the hills tomorrow where no doubt I will get a frantic phonecall as she tries to look at the pictures via her computer!

Now I have just finished updating my sons cv as my friends daughter says there is a saturday job going where she works so he thought he may as well apply for it - a little bit of pocket money rather than waiting for me and his father to sub him when he goes out! I am rather dubious about this, I only hope it doesn't interfere with his GCSE's but he assures me otherwise!

Right bed is calling, feeling really tired now!

nite, nite

hugs xxxx

Wide awake at 4am yet at 6am I am absolutely shattered!

Work looms.

Still the sun is shining and there were a few blue tits on the bird feeder this morning, but unfortunately didn't have my camera to hand to take a picture of them frolicking in the water, spilling the seed everywhere!

right better go and make sure that the children are getting ready for school and sort my lunch out!

Have a good day everyone!

Hugs xxxx

8am this morning I was wide awake and decided that rather than lounging around in bed I would put the washing out and get my chores out of the way.

The only thing I have to do now is some ironing, then I can enjoy the rest of the day.

Shame it has now clouded over and looks like it will rain

Was planning on taking the dogs for a walk over to Ashridge, will have to postpone that now for another day.

In other news, hubby has invited one of his building friends over to look at a possible extension he is planning. He goes through these phases once in a while, can't see it happening though afterall where is the money coming from lol! Certainly will not agree to him adding onto the mortgage, it is high enough as it is!

Right better see if any of the washing is dry and bring it in before it rains#

Have a good day everyone!

I need to get the boy's passports renewed.

At the moment both boy's hairs are a mess. Richards is standing up on end due to a triple crown and Simon's is just a mess, it is getting long and needs a good cut.

I have told them we are going to get their hairs cut.

As a result, driving down the road, they have whinged and whined and moaned and groaned.

"I don't want it cut I am growing it!" says Simon

"No you are not" says I, "It is a mess!" Apart from anything it constantly looks like he has dipped it in the chip pan, I swear there is enough oil on his head to fry and egg - don't you just love hormones not!

Richard doesn't want his done because it is long enough to twirl round his finger.

As a result of their whingeing and moaning I turned the car round, told them not to bother, if they can't get their hair cut, they don't get a passport photo done, hence no passport, no holiday!

i really feel like crying at the moment, stupid I know but I am so fed up!!

Where is your mobile phone? handbag
Significant other? Wonderful
Your hair? highlighted
Your Mother? busy
Your father? Unfaithful
Your favourite thing? Stitching
Your dream last night? bizarre
Your favorite drink? Wine
Your dream/goal? Unaccomplished
The room you're in? Diningroom
Your ex? Untrustworthy
Your fear? Lonliness
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Anywhere
Where were you last night? Bed
What you're not? Slim
One of your wish list items? fulfillment
Where you grew up? Edgware
The last thing you did? shop
What are you wearing? Jeans
Your TV? On
Your pets? Dogs
Your computer? HP
Your life? Busy
Your mood? Happy
Missing someone? Yes
Your car? Vauxhall
Something you're not wearing? Earrings
Favourite Store? Next
Your summer? Hot
Like someone? yes
Your favourite colour? Black
Last time you laughed? morning
Last time you cried? February

Take note I am doing this on a FRIDAY and not SATURDAY like I usually do pats self on back

1. What was the last book your read?

Well Groomed by Fiona Walker

2: What are you reading now?

I haven't started another one yet still trying to decide which one in my library I should start

3. What one book do you wish you had written?

Anya Seton Katherine

4. Who is your favourite author?

Cynthia Harrod Eagles

5. I recommend you read...?

Anything by Anya Seton

I really, really, do not want to go to work today.

I feel so tired.

On the bright side, the sun is shining, there is frost on the cars, but the sun shines lol!

Hope everyone has a good day

hugs

xxxxx

Be Warned, it is very, very Serious!!!!!

Bird Flu has hit Britain again!

What were you expecting to see lol

I have a headache, a culmination of being asked the same question a hundred and one different ways, of dealing with noisy children who seem to be hyper after the holidays and sitting in front of a computer screen to make some lettering for a display.

I am tired though, think it may have to do with some tablets I took earlier for a pain in my calf muscle. I tried ringing the doctor.

"Hello can I help you?"

"Yes please, I want to make an appointment with my doctor"

"I am sorry there are no appointments available until late next week, is it urgent?"

"Yes, I am in a lot of pain, I need to see the doctor, any one will do"

"Sorry we don't have any appointments until late next week"

"none sooner?"

"no sorry"

"So why did you ask if it was urgent then?"

"Because the only appointments are the emergency ones"

"Can I have an emergency appointment then please?"

"Yes, Friday 18th at 9.45"

"Sorry I want an emergency appointment"

"Yes that's the next available one. Course you could always phone tomorrow at 8.45 and we will try and squeeze you in"

"WHat are the chances of me seeing anyone if I do that?"

"Oh not for tomorrow but maybe next week sometime"

"Ok don't bother, I will let you know when I have had my leg amputated. In the meantime can I book an appointment for February 21st next year in case I have a heart attack?"

"are you being serious?"

"yes"

"I am sorry but we don't make appointments that far ahead"

"Oh just thought I had better make an advance booking in case I am ill that is all, seems to be the only way to get to see a doctor!"

"So you don't want to come in next week then?"

Needless to say I declined, what is the point. I have however, had some tablets from a friend which really helped and as a result spoken to the pharmacist at the local Lloyds chemist, who gave me some very strong painkillers which seemed to have helped!

In other news, came home from work to find eldest son dangling from fence taking a photo of this muntjack deer that was visiting the field by the side of the house:

I know it isn't very clear, but it is a big field and poor child ends up balancing to take the picture lol

Have a good evening

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear)
purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Brad, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Brad waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Brad gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Brad was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.

Brad made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Brad's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop.

Brad was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Brad put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Brad told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other sh*t too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THURSDAY :

Brad was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Brad took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny b*tch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FRIDAY :

I hate that Brad more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world.

Brad wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.

Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SATURDAY :

Brad left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SUNDAY :
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little sh*t) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Well so far I have done 20 minutes of this and five minutes on this. Admittedly I should have spent longer on the LTT but 5 minutes and I was so out of breath which goes to show how unfit I am lol!

Now the Core secrets is mainly spent exercising on a ball, great if you have a bad back because it really stretches you out, and yes, there are a number of dvds out there for exercising on the ball, most of which I have, but the core secrets one I can feel every muscle in my body being toned. It isn't unsimilar to Pilates, which as you know I love doing, and it can be quite challenging.

so now I am feeling virtuous, have had a cup of tea and a bowl of porridge, going to quickly show the living room what a duster and hoover is then I am going to relax under a shower to ease any tension before I tackle the ironing which is threatening to become a mountain again!

Snow has all disappeared now and the sun is struggling to peak through the clouds

And spread it around the garden and the field next door!

Well that is what it looks like, a fine sprinkling of snow in the night, most of which is starting to defrost as the morning moves along. They have just said on the radio that more is on our way, but we shall see.

At the moment there are dark clouds overhead, the sun cannot be seen and the moon is in hiding as well, don't blame them really it is cold out there! The birds are having a great time though as they feed on the food that hubby put out last night, including some fruit he put on the bird table, which the wood pigeons are guarding as though it is their personal property!

Last day at home, back to work tomorrow so I plan to chill out today, catch up with anything that needs to be done before I head to the grindstone and do some Pilates later, need to limber up a bit lol!

Hope everyone has a good day

Hugs to all

Kate Nash's producer Paul Epworth has trashed the singer's talents.

Sorry perhaps I missed something, What talent?

But my son kindly volunteered to climb up a step ladder on a piece of path that is not very level, precariously lean over the fence that divides our garden from the field and zoom in to bring this picture to you

We know he is only a young fox that appeared about three weeks ago in the field with its parents. We think there may be another one as well and there isn't a day that doesn't go by when we look out for them, though as the weather warms up (if it ever does) they will appear more often!

Imagine trying to lean out of a small window to get these pictures this morning.
Deserted bird house

Snow covered field
Snow on branch

Snow on ivy

White on Green

And then I caught these two chaps on the apple tree in the garden at the back of the house that I had to zoom in on:

One for sorrow

Two for Joy

Half a bottle of wine consummed.

toasted cheese and pickle sandwiches eaten

Listening to various music on you tube as well as reminding myself of all the great rides in Florida that people have posted on there.

Read some reviews and the forum on the Dibb site

Looked up some planning tips and sent a few links to the friends that are coming with us

A great evening really, spent catching up on here as well as doing the above.

I really do need to get a life lol!

Have a good evening, I am now signing off to spend some quality time with hubby

TTFN

Today was spent doing the ritual transferring of money from one account to another - in other words hubby has to transfer money from his business account into the housekeeping account each week so that I can pay the bills that keep the wolves from the door!

So today we fancied a change and went to Hemel Hempstead, did the usual monetary changes, paid a couple of bills, visited a couple of shops that they have there and purchased a few necessary items that are supposed to make things easier, but you just know that they will make things more complicated! Hubby likes gadgets, can't resist them lol

Came home, did a quick tidy and hoover, got the kitchen back into ship shape fashion and now having a longed for and very overdue cup of tea.

The sun was shining in Hemel, unfortunately the rain has returned now and looks like it is settled in for the rest of the afternoon. Not sure what I shall do with myself may read a book, then again may do some cross stitching - or better still play in blogland all day lol!

Right enough of this rambling on, make the most of today and tomorrow, work beckons next week lol!

Have a good day xx

Spent the best part of this evening sorting out files, putting some photos onto flickr, burning others onto a CD, losing some files - which I might add I am not happy about but the computer started to have a fit and I think I pressed something I shouldn't have, and generally clearing some space on my memory card before I put it back into my camera.

Shattered now with a massive headache to boot so I am going to leave you all and head up the stairs in a weary fashion and crawl into my bed.

Good night all, see you tomorrow

Near to us is an area of natural beauty and part of the Chiltern Hills called Warden Hills and Galley Hill (Galley hill used to be used as a site of execution). We don't go walking there often, mainly as I went there a few years ago and the car got broken into, but once in a while I will take the kids and dogs there for a walk on a fine day - or as today turned out to be a misty day.

We used to have a leafletwith all the walks detailed on it, but we tend to make up our own walk depending on how much time we have.

Now walking with two dogs, one of which has to be on a lead at all times, and two kids who think that you are totally barmy walking around with a camera and taking photos of trees isn't easy, but I ignored their laughter, their groans of "oh mum" and their cries of "What the hell are you taking a picture of that for" and tried my best to take a few snaps of our leisurely stroll over the hills.
Scruffy

It looks quite tame in the photo, but you get halfway up and realise you are unfit and it is quite steep!

View half way up

View from the top

After a while the children began to get into the swing of things and start pointing out what they could see:

Boobies

Lovers

Woodland flowers

Blossom

Ivy

A Bumble bee, as close as I could get before it flew off

Are we home yet?

What is over there?

Upon checking my emails I have:

1 claiming to be from Barclays wanting me to activate my e-banking account
1 claiming to be from Nat west wanting me to activate my e-banking account
1 claiming to be from LLoyds to confirm my e-banking details
1 claiming to be from Halifax with a e-statement notification

None of which I bank with - good job they are all being deleted unopened then aren't they lol

Not that I am bouncing of course, afterall I am far too tired!!

I had strange dreams last night, one of which set off a panic attack - fortunately Nig is used to them now and just lets me get on with it, holding me to him until I calm down again. If I visited the toilet once in the night I must have done half a dozen times, no idea why just felt like I had to - then of course there was the usual turning and moving around until I settled and the dreams that made absolutely no sense whatsoever!!

So today I lazed in bed for a little while listening to the radio droning on until I decided to struggle my way out of the duvet covers and make a cuppa as by this time I was thirsty. So having had that cup of tea and a couple of toasted fruit muffins for breakfast I am feeling a little more human.

Saw someone I haven't seen for a while when I was out last night. He came and joined us for a while, sat there chatting about nothing much. Turned to speak to hubby, when I turned back he noticed I had caught him looking down my top and went bright red! Didn't say anything but found it amusing, there isn't much there to look at lol Hubby found it amusing as well lol Friend went not long afterwards - think he is a little wary of Nig, not sure why as he is quite harmless really and likes people admiring me - he does it all the time lol

No sun this morning which is a shame though it is still quite mild out there. There is a lot I need to do but haven't done yet, might try and get myself sorted so I can do

Right better go and get a move on, want to do some pilates later!¬

Have a good day everyone

Hugs

xxx

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was
a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very
little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for
a Ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the
house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every
day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a
Really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and
Kick up your heels.'

The hire d hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired
Hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room,
he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine,
waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. 'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,'
She said. Trembling, he did as she directed. 'Now take off my boots.' He
did as she asked, ever so slowly. 'Now take off my socks.'

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. 'Now take off
My skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the
fire light. 'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he
was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town
Again, you're fired.'

Is there not one member of this government that never stands up for what they believe in? Here

Officer, this is how the fight started...

I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It was my fault
So, we both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly the driver
of the car I hit gets out of his car. . . and you know how you
just-get-so-stressed... and life...sometimes life seems
like... suddenly funny?

Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF! He gets out of his car,
and I get out of my car. He is frowning and scowling, and he storms
over to me. Right up close to me he looks up in my face and says, 'I
AM NOT HAPPY!'

And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I looked down at
him, and I said, 'Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are you?'
and that's when the fight started...

I was reading another blog earlier which reminded me of one of my favourite places, Borth Beach in Wales.

Somewhere where you can walk along for miles and not see another soul.

Womewhere that even in the height of the season, can be desserted.

Somewhere where I can be close to nature.

Where you can see the change in the weather in a moment.

Where the Dolphins will come and visit

Where life can just pass you by in a blink of an eye

I just wish I was there now, walking along with my dogs.

Popped into town this morning, which was busy and full of kids with nothing better to do than to walk around in large groups, shouting and swearing at each other, spitting on the ground and staring at you as though you are something nasty they have just walked in.

Now I am not one to slag of the 'younger' generation, after all we have all been that age at some point in our lives. But did we make others feel threatened by us as some people clearly felt today in town?

One thing I cannot abide is people spitting. I remember complaining about an Asian man spitting in the street once to a friend and being told that it was in the culture to do so. Regardless, to me it is the height of bad manners, when oh when did we star taccepting that anyone could do it.

Is it because we see it on telly? Is it because we watch our footballers do it on the playing field?
-
It disgusts me, it really does. So does litter. Is there really any need to throw your can on the ground when you are standing two feet from the bin? Why walk away and pretend that you didn't do it or at least not care. These teenagers today were walking around taking up the entire length of the mall refusing to move as you wanted to go past and if you dared say anything to them then they sneered or laughed at you.

Not a pleasant experience and I hope that my child behaves better when he is out because I would be distraught if I though that he behaved like this. When do we start taking responsibility for what we are doing to future generations.

Right getting off soap box now, son is demanding the computer so he can do some talking to friends on msn studying - there is an English exam looming lol

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products.
She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's
2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core
or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach
in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough
to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell
you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16
in my pant s.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body
will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call
'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior.
You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last
week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her
boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just bec ause he told
her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that Americais just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the
reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so
painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,
were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless
you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy'
about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua
and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the
local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end
your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a
moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . .

Best,
Wendi Aarons

Austin, TX

This message is intended solely for the designated recipient(s). It may contain
confidential or proprietary information and may be subject to attorney-client
privilege or other confidentiality protections. If you are not a designated
recipient you may not review, copy or distribute this message.
If you receive this in error, please notify the sender by reply e-mail
and delete this message. Thank you.

this was done in my married, name, there isn't much.

My maiden name didn't bring up anything at all when I googled it lol

So here goes:

I am a composer who lives in Portsmouth.
I am a Professor of Music at Leicester University.
I cry when I hear the music to Armageddon and I love West side story
I play hockey and Netball and I enjoy Long Distance Running (at this i was rolling around in laughter )
I am scared of anything that wriggles (hmm interesting)
I appear in the Sims
According to a relation my wedding was good fun
I was home schooled
I enjoy Scuba Diving

And that is all folks, and it was hard finding that much about my name lol

My april fool started yesterday.

it was my youngest son's fault really, he gave me the idea.

He was sulking and moaning about going back to school.

"Got to go back tomorrow" he said.

"Have you?" Said I

"Yes, teacher training today and school tomorrow"

"I don't have to go back until next week" says eldest son

"Oh no it is so not fair!" exclaimed youngest stamping his foot.

So yesterday I made him have a bath and hair wash, get his uniform ready and his bag.

This morning he came into my room looking glum.

"Have you had your breakfast yet?" says I

"No"

"Well you better get a move on if you are going to school today" I says pushing him out of the bedroom, closing the door and climbing back into bed.

And bless him, he did get ready to go to school, banging on the door when it was time to leave with an anxious "hurry up mum or we'll be late"

"April fool" I muttered!

We don't go back till next week.

he is one very happy child now lol

Both my children go swimming.

One belongs to a club that does competitive swimming. He goes not to compete, he has no interest in that, but because it is challenging, increases his stamina and keeps him fit. He is an excellent swimmer.

The other one goes to a different club at the same pool, where he is learning to swim. He can be a strong swimmer. He used to go to a different group until I found out that he did 400meters and got a certificate, yet all he could do was doggy paddle and kept stopping to take a breather! Like many others in that group, I decided to move him to the one he is currently at and a lot cheaper as well.

The clubs split at the end of last term. Apparently there was a bit of a falling out and so the club that youngest went to was closed until things were sorted out.

Yesterday there was a meeting about the future of this club, which is now up and running again but under a different name and at a different pool. There is still a dispute but the important thing is classes have started up again, the only downside is the days have been changed but we will work through that.

I paid for next terms lessons. Hubby said I should have got a discount.

"Why?" says I

"Well the bloke taking the meeting kept looking and smiling at you throughout"

"Yeah he did. He is quite nice but better looking in clothes than out of them" says I

"What?"

"remember he swims for the club, speedos are not a good look you know"

Needless to say one club has, as the saying goes, cut its nose off to spite its face, particularly as they rely on the swimmers of one group to move onto their group which they will now lose.

In the meanwhile I feel caught between the two. One because youngest has done so well in the group he is in there was no question that I wouldn't join him up for lessons when I found out they had found a new venue. Two my other son goes to the club swimming run by the other club which I am reluctant to make him leave as it is to his benefit to remain there.

Think I will keep my head low just in case, things could turn nasty.

In other news, the sun here is shining away nicely, though there are big black clouds on the horizon. I am going to tackle that ironing pile today as soon as I have had my weetabix and a cup of tea or two.

Hope all are well

Hugs xxx