Spread your wings and fly away

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods

I just love happy endings don't you!!

A good example of "Spin Doctors" at work.
How politics really works......

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."

Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary's staff sent back the following biographical sketch:

Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisitions of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.

And that, folks, is how it's done!!

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

Well, it was like this, said the man. I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball........stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake.

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"
.......................................................................

Two women were playing golf.

One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked,'How does that feel'?

He replied: "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.

As your eyes meet, across a crowded room, you take a sharp intake breath.

The sense of electricity travelling through your body when your hands touch briefly.

That stomach churning moment as he/she looks your way and smiles.

That feeling of being on a high as they lean in and kiss you, first softly, questioningly, then, as confidence increases, the way your body feels on fire as the kiss gets more passionate, your tongues explore, probe expectantly, questioning.

Your pulse races, you feel the electricity seep through every pore on your body. You feel light, carefree, excited.

You wait expectantly for their call, your stomach churning with excitement, the butterflies doing somersaults everytime your phone rings. the way when you meet you feel lightheaded, you want him so much your body is crawling with desire.

You feel his breath on your hair and your scalp tingles. As he puts his arm around you, his fingertips gently stroking your back, you shiver with delight, you feel his hot breath in your ear, his tongue licking your earlobe.......but wait,

it isn't what you expect,

it isn't tender and it is very, very wet.................................................................................................

And you wake from your dream to find the dog licking your ear, because that is the only way he knows how to wake you to let him out!

Where would I be without my Sunday fix of this site.

As usual as I logged on this morning, I just had to take a look and there, right there, are the postcards that make you smile, make you think, make you agree and have some empathy or sympathy with the person who wrote it.

This one made me smile purely because it is the silly things that we do that make us smile. I am not averse to putting silly things in shopping trolleys and I have to admit doing just as this postcard suggests in my time. Mind you hubby is just as bad. We have a girl that works in the local Sainsburys on the checkout. Everyone avoids her. You can see people rushing to her till because they notice it is empty, or maybe just one person standing, waiting, while all the other tills have queues forming. The reason people avoid her is because she likes to talk. About anything. Nothing wrong in that, but as she does it she will examine every item you have put on her conveyor belt as she flashes it across the screen in front of her so that it beeps, and tell you a funny story that she has about that product.

For example, a bottle of shampoo and she told me about the time her boyfriend got some of that particular make in his eye as he was washing his hair and how he had to go to hospital with a grin on her face because she found it amusing - and you stand and smile at her. The cucumber she picks up and tells you about the film she saw where they were using cucumbers as a sex toy and how much she enjoyed the film. You will be there for ages as she discusses each and every item with you. If you are lucky she will just say "ohhh they are a new product are they nice" in which you get away with just a yes afterall you wouldn't be buying them if they weren't now would you (unless it is the first time you had ever bought that particular product).

Anyhow, hubby decides one day that enough is enough. So as we walk around the shop he starts to put several different packets of condoms in the trolley, some ky jelly, some plasters, and underwear from the clothing section just to see what she says. And yes she examines it all, turns and says to him "Oh you are in for a good night then" to which he replies "Yes I thought I practice my balloon modelling skills".

She hasn't spoken to him since.

See I told you she was weird

And then there is this: Because I am lucky. I have a wonderful husband, two lovely children, good friends and family and my health. When I think back to what might have been, it would have been a completely different scenario altogether, so yes I am lucky, I am alive, happy and healthy.

What more could a girl want?