Spread your wings and fly away

Remember the film Lorenzo Oil starring Susan Sarandon and Nick Nolte?

At the age of thirty, Lorenzo Odone, passed away.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7429221.stm

A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "Your husband said so." Wife: "Oh." Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you." Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?" Maria: "Your husband did." Wife: "Oh." Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you." Wife (really furious now): "Did my husband say that as well?" Maria: "No Señora, the gardener did." SHE GOT THE RAISE

Regular readers will know how much I hate having my hair cut. It is sheer torture as I hate anyone touching my head.

Yesterday I bravely went to see my hairdresser and got my hair cut.

has my husband noticed?

of course not.

Perhaps it is him that needs new glasses not me!

Popped into Debenhams this morning, for our weekly breakfast treat, and i noticed that the longhaired crush was back on the Game counter near the restaurant. So after brekkie, hubby, Youngest and I stroll over to look at the prices of the Wii and he comes strolling over

"Hi" he says directly at me "Long time no see" and we spent the next 15 minutes talking about various games he has played recently and giving recommendations to my husband of various games and where to get them cheaply while I admired him and drolled at his physique and long hair looked around the section looking for games that I know both sons will enjoy playing. As we came away hubby says "See I told you he has the hots for you his eyes always follow you around!" - look how bothered he is Not!!

Well it made my day anyway

I also popped into the opticians whilst in town as I have been wanting some transitions lenses. I decided on these as I want them for my holiday - I don't wear my contacts all the time and having to keep changing glasses from normal to sunglasses everytime we go in and out of the shops while in Florida is a real pain in the backside. So after comparing prices on the internet, with specsavers and other opticians I went to Direkt Optik where I have ordered two pairs of transition glasses and one pair of prescription sunglasses for the same amount as one pair of glasses cost me in any of the other opticians (I have very strong lens prescription).

Hopefully they should be ready in a couple of weeks so that is another item I can cross off my list of things lol

Meeting with the girls this evening to put the world to rights over a glass of wine or two, looking forward to it as it will be nice to catch up with what has been going on in their lives at the moment.

Right not much else to say really apart from hope you are all having a good day.

hugs xxx

There isn't a day that goes by when we don't hear about a shooting or stabbing, or beating, somewhere in the country, where the victim is a teenager, young man, family man etc.

Every time it is mentioned, phone ins are held across the land where people phone in and say that the parents must know what their child did, people in the community must know who did it, someone must step forward and turn whoever did it in.

Everyday we read about it on the internet or in the papers, the letters pages full of people saying turn them in, do something. We look at our kids and hug them, thankful it wasn't them that was killed, them that did the hurting. Thankful it wasn't us.

Then one woman stands up and does what everyone wants - she turns her kids in after hearing them boast about what they had done the night before. Carol Saldinack went to the police and told them of her sons crime. As a result her family have disowned her and she has been receiving threats ever since.

Radio 5 this morning had a phone in asking "Would you shop your kids?" and lo and behold, those same people that for weeks have been shouting that something should be done about these killings, parents must know etc etc etc were condemming her for what she had done. Fair play they were outnumbered by people, parents, who said yes they would do what she had done, but there were the few who would make your blood boil - one who even though he has no children said that he would teach his children not to do that in the first place therefore there would be no problem!!

Ok all of us that are parents would love to think that our children are little darlings and wonderful members of society when they are our without our guidance. In reality though how do we know how they behave? Both my child have been taught, from a young age, that every action they take, good or bad, has a consequence. I would like to think that when my eldest is out with his mates he is as sensible as he is at home. I would like to think that he wouldn't get into trouble. I would like to think that if he did that it would be because of someone else and not him, but I also know that in reality neither of my children are angels. They make mistakes, everyone does. Most of us at some point in our lives have done silly things when we have had too much to drink. I know someone who is a lovely person but has a complete personality transplant when he has a few too many to drink, and yet it is not only the drink that causes youngsters to behave irresponsibly - peer pressure counts for a lot as well, a person's personality - how they cope in confrontational situations. I dread my son going out and probably like most worry about him until he is safe at home again - and this is during the day when he is just going shopping with his friends - can you imagine what I will be like if he is having a night on the town?

With any action comes a consequence. Would I shop my child to the police if I knew he had done something wrong?

Yes, but only after I had talked to him and encouraged him to turn himself in, if he didn't then I would do it for him. It doesn't mean I would stop loving either of them, it would be a very hard thing to do and it would be something I would have to live with for the rest of my life, but then again I could honestly say I could not live with myself if I knew he had done something so serious as Carol Saldinack's sons had done. The woman has my admiration because it must be one of the hardest things to do.

the sun lasted fleetingly

For a change it is raining again

Wouldn't want us to get too used to the sun now would it

Well halfway through what seems like an endless pile of ironing, hubby announces that he is going to watch the football.

In unison, Simon and myself inform his football season is over, but alas it is some stupid game between England and USA. So I have given up the will to live, put the iron away, played a couple of games on here and am now thinking of going to bed to read my book.

Simon not happy either!

I HATE FOOTBALL!!!!!

There are some occasions when being a woman is not ideal. The fact that you save for your holiday then due to mother nature, who decides that the hormones are going to actually delay your female cycle this month which means that you will be suffering the joys of mother nature while you are on holiday is one of them.

Yes periods is what I am talking about, due as soon as I get to Florida, not good and not very helpful.

So I presented myself to the doctor this morning, made small talk as he attempted to fix his computer keyboard, passed the time of day by talking about the weather, as you do, then hit him with it - I want to stop my period while I am on holiday, what do you suggest?

So he was very obliging, has given me a prescription for some Norethisterone. Have any of you women out there ever taken this?

Fortunately my doctor knows I have on going problems with my cycle he agreed me having a period while out in Florida may not be the best idea at all, but I am concerned about the side affects even though he has assured me that I will be ok.

According to my Florida site that I frequent, several people suggest doing this and to be honest would rather suffer from the headaches and sickness before I go on holiday rather than during. Any advice will be welcome.

He asked to see my leg to see if the rash has cleared up, which it has at last, but unfortunately it has left some scarring. I am continuing to moisturise with this which is a godsend. I have recommended it to several people who suffer from eczema, as it really has helped with my problems, the itching has stopped, the redness has disappeared so has the spots. Several people have raved about it on various review sites and it is well worth the money Lush charge for it, so give it a go! I told my doctor I found it more beneficial for me than the Betnovate he prescribed so he has made a note of it and said he will pass the information onto several patients he treats for skin conditions in the hope it will help them as well.

Lastly he says I have no chest infection, despite my cough, but he did notice that my hayfever was bad today, which is not a usual thing as it is so wet outside, but I explained it always seemed to be worse when the weather was muggy as it is today. Looking at the diary I kept of it, he thinks that it is hay fever related, but has prescribed some medicine for me to take in the hope it will help!

So, for once, it was a useful trip. He has also given me a prescription for some painkillers and Diclofenac for my back just in case my back plays up when in Florida (it will do) so I am grateful for that - it was worth making a booking two weeks in advance to see him lol

Right off now to investigate this new thing at the top of my post lol

Have a good dayxx

I was sent a link to this site and then had to investigate further. Definitely take a look http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/15131

In true bank holiday style, the weather is appalling here, torrential rain, where you get soaked through to the skin just by walking the few metres from the house to the car.

We had a nice lie in watching some animal program on BBC 1 filmed at Longleat I think, before having a leisurely shower and deciding on a full cooked breakfast -or in reality Brunch.

However we had to pup to Sainsburys for a few essentials first - bacon, bread, mushrooms, tomatoes and potato slices that are crispy and just divine when added to eggs and sausages.

Thankfully it wasn't all that fat laden, or Heart attack inducing due to being cooked on the good ole George Foreman Grill.

We have just finished our divine feast are now watching Ice Age 2 before we settle down with the kids and have a game of Risk (chronicles of Narnia) with instructions that are quite confusing and I am sure we didn't play it all that well last time. Never mind, just having looked at the reviews for it we are not alone in thinking that way, may have to make it up as we go along lol!

So hope you are having a good, if not wet, Bank holiday - oh and hope your working day goes well Smichen

Hugs xxxx

We popped into one of the local travel agents this morning and purchased a few more dollars for our holiday in August. We have just worked out that we probably need a few more, but we have the majority of them locked away.

Feeling quite pleased now, dollars purchased, holiday paid off, just waiting for the tickets to come through and.....

for a minute there had a slight panic attack couldn't remember if I had purchased the Disney tickets, but upon checking we have *phew* (wipes sweat from brow).

We have a rough itinery. We need to get together with our friends and finalise the last few details. We have decided to visit Busch gardens this year and I still need to buy the tickets for that, hopefully this week sometime, if not next month will do, as long as we get them before we go then I can rest easy.

My list making has begun though. If you notice the countdown at the top of my blog, not long to go now so time to start making a list. Yes I am a compulsive list maker. I make a list for every eventuatlity, revise it several times, drive hubby and kids mad until the morning when we finally depart.

I can't wait, the countdown has well and truly begun

The Halifax have just emailed to inform me that my online account has been suspended.

Thing is I don't have any accounts with them at all neither do I have an account with Barclays or the Bank of Scotland, all of whom keep sending me emails.

ok I know it is some fraudster and not the actual banks themselves

Just deleted it unopened again.

One reason why I never buy magazines, I so agree with this sentiment:

here

Every year, the Eurovision is transmitted into our living rooms via that nice box that sits in the corner of the room. Every year we groan about how our entry never gets anywhere, about how political the voting was, about how dire this programme is. We laugh at Terry Wogan's comments. We laugh at the costumes, the terrible performances, the songs, scream at te political scoring, etc. The newspapers the next day, analyse every last detail. Headlines scream at us about the winners and losers yet every year, millions of us tune into the BBC and sit glued to the TV screens for the next 4 hours or so that it is on.

We are no exception.

Every year, we sit as a family with our own scoring system. Every year we watch and give marks to each performance, totalling up our scores at the end in the hope that we are somewhere near where the winning team will be. Each year we criticise our entry, which to be honest this year wasn't too bad but really, Andy Abrahmas put his heart and soul into the performance, but the song just wasn't right for the Eurovision I felt anyway.

But then again I thought the same about Russia's entry and look where that got, the winners. Someone please tell me though what was the point of having an ex Russian Ice skating champion on there though?

There were a few songs I really did like though I could see them more as stage performances really rather than Euro songs. I like watching the Eurovision to see the constumes, the effort some put into their performances, the different styles of music from various cultures. Our scoring was completely out this year, I think my husband and eldest son judged each country on the amount of flesh on display, how short the costume was and how good looking the girls were - most comments centred around all three of these in one form or another. Youngest, well all I can say is Eastern Europe if you ever want a fan here he is because most of the Balkan countries got hight scoring points from him, which is probably why Latvia came first on our score, Greece 7th and Russia 9th place. I based mine solely on the music, because in the end that is what matters, I like listening to backing music to see how that works with the actual song, how it pieces altogether, then on how well they perform, how much effort they put into it.

Despite the dodgy scoring, which will never change really and makes the Eurovision so much fun really, I can see us watching it for years to come, sad yes, but still so much fun!

BY A 15 yr. Old SCHOOL KID IN GEELONG VIC:

Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most
public schools anymore, because the word "God" is mentioned....

A kid in Geelong Vic wrote the attached:-

NEW School prayer :

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense - it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take !!!

Amen

Says it all lol

Here are just some ideas to get around it

Breaking News from the NASA Website, they have found water on Mars which leaves us with the question - Can life be found there?

Click

It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle once said - something which I wholeheartedly agree with.

Today has been spent doing the usual, making sure there is enough money in the account for those end of month bills - thankfully I get paid on Tuesday and can't wait, though most of it is spent already

My youngest son also tried to bankrupt me in Waterstones as well. We had passed by it on the way to the building society (big mistake) and he asked if we could just have a look in there. I resisted the urge to buy any books to add to the pile that still have to be read, even though there were some lovely ones I keep meaning to buy on a 3 for 2 special offer :groan my son made up for this though by picking out a number of books that he liked the look of. Persuaded him to pick just one, on the premise that if he reads it to me and finishes it, we can buy another one.

I really don't mind buying books, I prefer to do this rather than visit the library. I am useless at taking books back and end up paying a massive amount of fines which defeats the point of going to save money really, so may as well just buy the book in the first place lol! Anyway the children tend to re read favourite books and even though youngest struggles I am always willing to buy anything he is interested in for him - struggle he may do but he eventually gets there and I feel the key to reading is not to read endless books in a reading scheme, some of which can be classed as boring, but to read something that engages the reader, that develops their enthusiasm or imagination.

At the moment youngest is upstairs sorting out the bulging bookcase in his room. He wants to get rid off all those books he considers babyish and build up his own library of books that he wants to keep and re read. Simon did the same thing a couple of years back, however like his mother, he is a little bit of a hoarder hence the fact there are two bookcases in his room that look as though they are about to collapse under the weight of books. Between us I am sure we could open up our own library.

There are books here that cover a variety of themes and topics. Some are fiction - historical, crime, sci fi, general chick lit, there are the non fiction ones - poetry, encyclopedias, information books full of facts that can be used in homework or just for general knowledge. I have lost count of the number of dictionaries we have, or thesauruses which can be found scattered around the house. All kinds of things can be found here and though a lot of them seem to be in paperback, they are in good condition. I have taught my children to love books, to respect them, to look after them well. They trawl through book catalogues - The book people, scholastic, looking for yet another one to add to their collection. Christmas lists always include a book of some sort to be bought as a gift. Their favourite pastime has always been to go to the bookshop in town and spend an hour or two looking through the books, money to search for 'the one' that will take them to an imaginary land.

The internet is a wonderful device full of information, good and bad, that can help any child achieve in life, but nothing, in my view, will ever replace a good book. As an American Educationalist once said:

A house without books is like a room without windows. No man has a right to bring up his children without surrounding them with books, if he has the means to buy them.

Is there anything going on in the world today news wise?

I only ask as so far all I have heard about is how some team has won a cup in Moscow.

Big deal.

If you don't happen to like football do you want hours of air time taken up with who won what, how well someone played, how someone missed the goal - hint it is that big thing with a net that some idiot stands in front of - and whether one member will be moving to Spain?

I am really sick of it all.

I don't care!

Surely a mention would suffice, do you really have to interview every fan that gets of the bloody plane?

Do you have to speak to every ex footballer about this so called victory?

22 men, kicking a football about a field and getting paid an extortianate amount of money to do so

AAAGGGGHHHHHH

The last couple of evenings have been warm enough to take the dogs on a long walk. This is a feat in itself as the dogs get very excitable when they see their leads, so excited that if you were to see them you would think they had never been taken for a walk as they trample over each other to get to you to put their leads on.

It also takes two of us to walk them so either my hubby and I go or it is me and eldest child.

Anyway long walks are always welcome in nice weather, the smells of the park, the joy at seeing the cars on the road, the people who will come and chat to you just because you have a greyhound, the fact that the grey will show off to them, a sight to be seen as he stands there begging to be stroked and made a fuss of. Walktimes are always a joy.

Not so much for the owners though. I am afraid I am rather lazy if it is cold or raining, I leave the walktimes to the son and hubby. If it is nice though I will go out with the dogs with one of the other as I said earlier and the last couple of evenings have been bliss. The walk through the woods at 8.30 last night meant that we saw a lot of wildlife running around, getting ready to go to sleep. The birds singing and calling out to each other, in harmony, so much bird song with the odd wood pigeon and a dove. The squirrels running from tree to tree, the deer walking through the undergrowth, standing still and watching us as we passed by, almost holding their breaths.

A week ago there were bluebells in the wood a carpet of them guiding us to the meadow where the long grass almost covers the whippet x. Every so often he stands on his hind legs to see over it, check where he is before he scuttles on, crouching as though he is searching for some prey.

Of course you meet other dog walkers, some are nice and pass the day with you. They notice your dogs are on leads so put theirs on a lead as they pass by. Then there are the ones who have so much control of their own dogs that they don't need to be on a lead, a command is enough, or the ones that let their dogs walk miles ahead of them, have no control of them, the ones that keep sniffing your dog and making them angry and unsettled.

You see the good dog owners walking with their gear, the sainsbury bags full of the neccessities to clear up after their dog with, then there are the ones that don't clear up - they annoy me. Then again if you have a dog that insists that stinging nettles need to be fertilised or the bush that may need a bit of sustanance, almost as if he is taunting you - now get in there and clear that up ! Although we do clear up the majority our dogs do, like most responsible dog owners.

Coming home and the dogs flake out on the living room floor. You have to walk round them as though you are walking through an obstacle course, they will not move, they are tired, they now need their sleep, because lets face it, it has been at least an hour since they last slept of course they are going to be tired

Hope you have a great day hun xxxx

My 16 year old officially left High school today, and apart from his exams he will not be in school.

Feel sad in one way, my little baby, because that is how I will always think of him, will be finding his own feet, will eventually cut those strings and move on.

Ok it may not be for a while, it is after all the natural order of things but it doesn't make me any less sad.

When he was first born, he had the brightest of blonde hair, so blonde he looked bald. He was put in my arms as I was coming round from the C section and all I could think of was how gorgeous he was - ok we all think that don't we? Even though they had cut his cheek, which, if you look close enough, has left a faint scar.

A perfect pregnancy, lead to a perfect child, a baby who slept constantly, who smiled early, who only woke up to be fed - some things don't change!

A child who people used to say had a wise head on young shoulders, so sensible, so grown up, so old before his time - and he was, still is. He is the one I can rely on, the one that I can have conversations with about anything. We have a good relationship, one that I hope will always be steadfast. We talk about anything, in fact his friends are often brought round for advice from mum, when he can't convince them they need help.

Of course there are times when we clash, but we are very much alike in most ways. He is studious, loves reading, loves Rock music, loves swimming, loves walking - a lot of interests we share. He never complains when asked to do something, he will never let people down.

He isn't always perfect though, none of us are right?

He is in his room studying right now, in between watching episodes of Red Dwarf and listening to Metallica. As I pass his room he has a smile.

Yes I am proud of him and wish him well in the future, it is no more than he deserves.

On one of my posts, I have had a reply from a visitor called 'A' who called me a retard. It took offence to my post about B&Q, in my opinion totally missing the point completely, afterall it was a JOKE. they have been deleted, can't be bothered to reply to idiots, let alone ones that can't be open and show themselves up for who they really are but hide behind the visitor facade, that is even if it is a blogger, which I doubt.

Then on the news is the delightful tale of Broon having his own space on You tube where he will answer qny question that you may want to ask. His way of doing Primeministers question time but with you the electorate lol!

http://www.youtube.com/downingst

In other news, the sun is shining, there are towels on the line which will mean they will be so stiff when I get home and take them of the line again!! I hate rotary driers but don't have enough room to put a proper line up.

Right enough waffling, I have to get off to work now!

Have a good day

hugs xxxxx

So far today I have managed to drag myself out of bed, shower, hang some washing out and receive my delivery of goods from Asda without leaving home.

Bliss.

Course the only things I have ordered from Asda are the heavy items - toiletries, milk, dog food, even breakfast cereal and bread. I managed to go out yesterday and buy the meat and fruit and vegetables that will hopefully see me through the week. Hubby asked if it actually saved us money doing most of the shopping online, and yes, it has, at least £10 - not a lot but when you think of the petrol I am saving, the fact that instead of spending the weekend trying to catch up with shopping and other things that seem to take forever, then the time it saves is a bonus. Not sure I will be doing this regularly, but I can see that until I get into a system with work etc then I can see it will be useful in the long run. Time is precious, why spend it doing mundane things when you should be enjoying yourself I say lol

I do have some ironing to do, I have some dusting and hoovering to do but that can wait for now I have more important things to be doing, like, oh I don't know, blogging for example

And on that note I will leave you with a little something from here one of my favourite Sunday morning pastimes

Have a good day everyone

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."

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When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea." Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."

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An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . Please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."

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A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"

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When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.

I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. " I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?" She said, "I can't remember where I live!"

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales. At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch, they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the waitress, 'Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?' The girl leaned over and said, ' Burrr-Gurrr-King'.

Purple Hats

In honor of Beautiful Women's Month and in memory of Belinda Emmett who lost
her fight with cancer, please pass this on to five women.

If you don't know five women to pass this on to, one will do just fine.

'If I had my life over'
By Belinda Emmett
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the Earth
would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for a day... I would have
burned the pink candle sculpted into a rose before it melted in storage... I
would have talked less and listened more... I would have invited friends
over to dinner even if the carpet was stained or the sofa faded... I would
have eaten popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the
dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace... I would have
taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth... I would
have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband... I would
never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my
hair had just been teased and sprayed... I would have sat on the lawn with
my grass stains... I would have cried and laughed less while watching
television and more while watching life... I would never have bought
anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed
to last a lifetime...

Beautiful Women's Month

Age 3 She looks at herself and sees a Queen

Age 8 She looks at herself and sees Cinderella

Age 15 She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister ('Mum, I
can't go to school looking like this!')

Age 20 She looks at herself and sees 'too fat / too thin /
too short / too tall / too straight / too curly' - but decides she's going
out anyway

Age 30 She looks at herself and sees 'too fat / too thin /
too short / too tall / too straight / too curly' - but decides she doesn't
have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway

Age 40 She looks at herself and sees 'clean' and goes out
anyway

Age 50 She looks at herself and sees 'I am' and goes wherever
she wants to

Age 60 She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the
people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore - goes out and
conquers the world

Age 70 She looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter and
ability and goes out to enjoy life

Age 80 Doesn't even bother to look - just puts on a purple
hat and goes out to have fun with the world

Maybe we should put on that purple hat earlier...

If you don't mind, send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as
friends.

Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier

An Interview with an 80-year-old Woman

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady
because she had just got married -- for the 4th time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about
what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about
her new husband's occupation.

'He's a funeral director,' she answered.

'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she
wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first 3
husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all
those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face
and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first
married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a
circus ringmaster when in her 40s, later on a preacher when
in her 60s, and now in her 80s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked
why she had married 4 men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, 'I married 1 for the money, 2
for the show, 3 to get ready, and 4 to go.'

I wan't going to post this in case it offended any BMW car drivers out there, but as i nearly avoided a collision with one earlier today as he reversed out of his driveway onto a major road then proceeded to scream abuse at me just because I tooted him so he knew I was there, I came home and found this email and had to smile.

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap, between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn).

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway,
but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!
Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.
Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights on his front grille and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew “That my car goes fast!”
Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either. They're £20 each and I was only allowed 3). But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take if off me!
See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you drive a BMW.

There isn't much I want to say, But due to recent events thought I had better warn you about the following:

I'm not usually one for posting warnings about potential scams but I had a close call yesterday.
I walked into B&Q hardware store at lunchtime and some old guy dressed in a black shirt with an orange apron on asked me if I wanted decking.
Fortunately, I got the first punch in and sorted the bastard out. Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.

Pass this warning on.

Have a good day

Fantastic end to the week.

Barclaycard wrote to tell us of unusual activity on our card - yes it would be unusual as we don't use it!

Anyhow, some lowest form of humanity has cloned our rarely used card and has been on a spending spree in France and Spain, totalling over £1000 in the last three days!!

Hubby phoned Barclaycard and ended up in an argument with the operator as it is mainly me that uses the card he had to ask me the question the barclaycard people asked him, therefore she refused to speak to him. Mad dash to nearest barclays branch, with passport and driving licence to prove who he was, they had just closed, but after hubby swore and kicked at the door several times in anger persuaded them to open up and explained what had happened, they kindly phoned the fraud office, confirming who he was and let him speak to them complete with all details.

End result is we have to fill out numerous forms when they arrive in the post, cut up our cards and be issued with new accounts.

Not happy bunny and hope the bastards who did this have a very, very miserable life, are finally caught and buggered in prison and eventually rot in hell.

Course that will never happen but I can wish can't I?

A young woman, expecting her first child in 8 weeks times, does some housework and decides to let some air into her house while she works.. Therefore she leaves her back door open.

While she is working away, dusting, tidying and hoovering, a man enters her garden, then her house, with a knife and threatens her.

Fearing for her life, she pleads with him for over 10 minutes. He lunges at her and she puts out her hand in defence to deflect the blow of the knife as it heads towards her face, cutting her hand quite badly in the process.

He bundles her into a room, throws her to the ground and tells her to stay there.

After 10 mins she manages to crawl to the door to see if he has gone, which thankfully he has, so she calls the police and ambulance, who arrive within minutes.

She needs surgery, but they are reluctant to do it until the baby is born. In the meantime she has lost all feeling in her hand as the blade has cut through some nerve endings. They have stitched it for now, all they can do apparently.

All this for a mobile phone and £20.

She is lucky, it could have been worse, but it doesn't make the situation any better.

This took place within a mile from where I live.

Scary!

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.
The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'

'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird.'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this
wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak English can't you?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any
topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.

I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You
can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!'

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he
understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's
about your wife and the postman.'

'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.

'When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported
the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?'
'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'

'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'

If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when
one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred
blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty
minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running off together behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.

After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left."

The male statue asks the woman statue, "Would you like to do it again?"

"Oh, yes let's," she replies! "But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you shit on its head.

I am so tired.

In the last 48 hours I have had about 6 hours sleep.

I don't do well without my usual 10 hours.

Mind you hubby thought he was helping by sending me to bed early to watch Beowulf in comfort.

Didn't watch all of it though, because I started to doze of so thought I had better pay a visit to the toilet, which woke me up!

Tossed and turned, coughed for England.

Always worse at night.

Ah well better get off to work now, no good sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

Wonder if I phone the doctor today will it give them enough notice to fit me in in two weeks time?

Doubt I will get an emergency appointment!

Have a good day everyone

Hugs xxx

Having spent most of the night awake, coughing for England, I was rather reluctant to get out of my cocoon of a bed and head towards the shower and get ready for my day. The birds outside in the garden had other ideas and their lovely singing reminded me what a beautiful day we have to face weather wise, so I did manage to drag myself out and get ready to greet the day ahead.

Hubby has just headed out of the door for work, the children are beginning to get themselves sorted for school, I have just made myself yet another potato salad to take to work, which in a few minutes is where I will head.

I love this warm weather, it always makes me feel good, perhaps that is why I did manage to escape the duvet cover this morning. In reflection I am very lucky, I have a wonderful husband, two brilliant children and feel safe and loved.

Sickening isn't it!

Right better go before I get too sickly in this post lol!

Have a good day everyone

Hugs

xxxxx

His name was Paul.

He took a liking to a member of our party, made a complete and utter fool of himself, not helped by the fact he had obviously had one too many to drink and was wearing a Man UTd shirt and looked like the pratt he was. He tried his hardest to impress that member of the party and her 'mother', whom he correctly identified as Canadian and tried to work out how she could have an English daughter (that threw him a bit). Anyhow after begging the waitress to borrow her pen, he tried to write down his name and telephone number, after asking his friend what it was, and attempted to write down his email address as well, then finally he got the message that none of us were interested and moved on.

Apparently he tried it on with various members of staff at the restaurant as well, which didn't go down too well. I was very good, I didn't make a scene, I have been known to before now particularly with idiotic drunk men who think they are God's gift, and Kelly was just fantastic throughout in protecting Louisa+.

Yes dinner with Meno was just fantastic and ended all to soon, huge hugs all the way round and promises made to try and make the big blogmeet in November once it has been decided where it will be held.

It has been a great weekend, lovely weather which was good for a mini meet, and meeting such lovely people as well.

Now this morning the sun shines, the children start their SATS at school which will mean the poor things will be hot and ratty so I should be in for a good day!

Right better get a move on hope you all have a great day

hugs xx

Hope you have a wonderful day hun

Hugs xxxxxxxx

Duties of Wives!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had
Given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he
Had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework.
He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came
Home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had
Given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and
The cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but
The next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the
Dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Kiwi girl. He boasted that he told her
That her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed,
Laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned
And hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he
Didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the
Third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little
Out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the
Dishwasher, and call a handyman.

God Bless Kiwi Women

I am glad it is the weekend.

of course I could do without the mountain of ironing and washing that is awaiting for me, but that for now isn't a priority, though I may have to hunt out something to wear tomorrow and iron it first!!

The weather has been lovely today, only hope it remains this way over the weekend so that I can enjoy it, rather than the rain that threatens. Nothing worse than working in boiling heat and then having rain when you get time off!!

Anyhow, Greenwich tomorrow. Just given hubby address for the meet so that he can decide the best way to go (he is driving so I don't need to worry about it all), though I will have to go to town first and sort out a few bills (oh joy can't wait!).

This week has felt quite long despite it being a short week really. working all these hours means my time spent on here is reduced, hence the lack of posts and comments, if I haven't passed by your way and commented, rest assured I have read.

anyhow better get off and load the washing machine, looking forward to meeting some of you tomorrow. In case you haven't met me yet and are wondering who I am, I will be the one in the corner with either a loud laugh or a hacking cough so be warned lol!

Take care

hugs xx

I just love this wonderful weather we are having.

Beautiful sun, warmth and not a cloud in the sky.

Not, however, loving the fact that the dinner I prepared and put in the slow cooker to cook, so it was ready when I came home from work to be dished up and eaten, isn't cooked as I didn't switch it on!

What a numpty!!!

today went by quite quickly. I cannot believe that as I type this, the time on my clock is showing 17:59. It feels as though it should be earlier.

The day went well, despite my initial tiredness this morning, due to a late night. I managed to get through without falling asleep, upsetting anyone and not starting an argument with a colleague, instead just walking away and counting to 10 instead, which I am quite pleased with- can see we will need to have words at a later date!

Everything else went well, the sun shone and is still shining away.

My children have decided to make their own dinner, hubby is cooking his. We have walked the dogs and I am going to do some pilates or core work to ease a few aching muscles in my back. My healthy eating plan is going well, I decided not to eat the crisps and cake that appeared at work sticking to my pasta salad and fruit salad instead (please someone shine my halo for me lol!)

Right better let the children have their turn on here and try and do those exercises!

Hope everyone had a good day today

Today has been lovely and relaxing so far.

I didn't get out of bed early, in fact I sprawled across it and read my book for a while. I had a phone call from my mother who is well and truly annoyed with Royal Mail. She sent me a birthday card with a cheque in it and it didn't arrive. So she sent me another cheque and that hasn't arrived either. In fact she also sent her request for a repeat prescription to her doctor, yet when she went to pick it up after seeing her doctor about another unrelated matter, she found out that hadn't arrived either.

So after a lengthy discussion about the post and how nothing has arrived from her neck of the woods, Boris's victory in London and generally putting the world to rights, I resettled down with my book and continued reading.

Not for long though.

Hubby purchased a playstation game yesterday, but it didn't work in either of the consoles we have, so obviously a trip to Hemel was needed in order to return it. This time the children came with us as they wanted to exchange some games they had as well. After this was accomplished we decided upon a trek to St. Albans to here
for dinner which was quite nice. It was something we used to do on a regular basis yet we haven't done for a while, so it was nice to go out as a family and eat a meal out for a change.

So now I am trying to catch up on a few missed posts and then perhaps do some ironing and chuck some clothes in the washing machine!

Hope everyone is having a good Sunday!

Myself, Menomama, and Louisa are meeting up here
, in Luton On Sunday 11th May.

It would be great if there is anyone else nearby that would like to come, we would love to see you.

We will be meeing up at about 6.30 on Sunday. Let me know if you can come so I can book a table for us all!

Hugs xx

I have felt tired all day, lacked any form of energy and really cannot be bothered to do anything in that might require me getting out of a chair and doing it.

Sad isn't it!

On the other hand I did manage to go to Hemel, where hubby dragged me round the shops, bought a few things for himself and a shirt for eldest child and then came home again.

We also managed to go and do the weekly shop, which he was pleased that it didn't cost us a lot of money, but as I pointed out there was no meat or meals for next week in that shopping trolley - in fact I am not so sure what I am going to feed the family next week at all lol!

We have just eaten a nice curry meal and fully sated have just watched Ant Bully on the telly - alright, nothing special lol!

Nothing more exciting to report for now so better go and do something constructive!

Have a good evening

hugs xx

My first thought, upon waking up this morning, was Thank Crunchie it is Friday.

My second was "Oh heck I have to go to work!"

I haven't worked a Friday in 4 years, so it was rather a shock to body, which was groaning after a late night at the pub quiz, to stand under hot running water in an attempt to wake it.

Mind you the feeling of doom has been replaced by what I can only assume is excitement as I wonder what is in store for me today, the thought that it is a long weekend, and knowing that I will be busy until I head out of that door this evening and collapse in a heap on the sofa, hoping that someone will make me a cup of tea!

Yes it is busy at work. There are not enough hours in the day at the moment and it is a case of get your lunch break when you can because there is so much going on - but one thing I have noticed in comparison to where I used to work - everyone is so relaxed. There is no sitting there working away on laptops as you juggle your lunchw tih your cup of tea/coffee. Everyone sits and discusses their day thus far, what they have planned for the weekend, what they plan to do in the holidays. No one is sitting there with a pile of books furiously marking away. There is no one panicing about the looming SATS exams. In fact it is all very relaxed and friendly, everyone trying to help each other, celebrating successes, commiserating about things that have gone wrong, there to hand out a word of advice or two.

Which leads me nicely to my title. A quote by Edgar Bergen, an American actor/ventriloquist, who appeared in various radio shows and on many a t.v. film, father of Candace Bergen, and though not one of the greatest ventriloquists he certainly had a sense of comic timing. Anyway while doing some research (well you never know what you may be asked in a pub quiz) I came across this quote by him:

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance of being the first

Something I agree with entirely!

Have a good day everyone

Hugs xx