Spread your wings and fly away

There's this bird called Mary, yeah?

She's a virgin (wossat then?)

She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?

He does joinery an' that.

Mary lives with him in a crib, dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like, `Oo you lookin at?'

Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'

Mary's totally gobsmacked.

She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it.

She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we is gonna get.'

Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponce a donkey, an' go dahn Befle'em on that.

They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads.

They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'

It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.

He's like 'The police is comin an' they is killin' all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.'

Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay'.

So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.

You're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you; felt we could work it out.

So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Ja maica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

_______________________________________________________________________

On a serious note, the spurs hotline, i.e. the spurs supporting friends of hubby that find out information about our family before we do, have informed us that hubby's brother is divorcing his second wife. We have no idea why, all we do know is, he hasn't told us or his mother, then again we were never invited to the wedding either, so not likely to be told are we lol

It hurt logging onto my emails this morning and finding all these special offers from Amazon, special offers from the catalogues I have, even more offers from other companies. I didn't click on the links, I deleted straight away. I may even send them to my spam file.

I made a decision last night as I lay awake in bed after a huge panic attack, following a nasty dream, which woke the entire household with my screaming, and probably next door as well ( must remember to apologise to them before they get the wrong idea ), that 2009 will be the year I sort out my finances and not spend on anything unnecessary just because i can. That is not a good way to do things. I will save some of my wages, I will make sure I pay off my catalogues and get as much as I can paid off.

This will mean Amazon, Play.com, etc are likely to have a panic attack at me not spending on their sites. I have clothes in abundance that I can wear without having to buy new, they will have to make do another year so that I can sort myself out.

My fear is having gone through one recession and hitting rock bottom, having the same happening again. Ok hubby is in work, unlike last time when he was self employed, but nothing can be taken for granted these days can it?

January has always been a tight month financially. Not helped by the fact that you pay all your bills and total up how much Christmas has cost and found that you don't have as much money to play with as you thought you did. Fortunately the freezer is full and so we shall live off that for the month.

Fortunately I haven't been one for sales, so despite braving the chill air, venturing forth to town to pay some cheques in at the bank, I wasn't tempted to pop into the many shops that shouted at me 'half price sale' which were crowded and had far too many people in them haggling over the one item. I swear the people in Boots, where we went so that hubby could top up on his toiletry stock, were searching out the bargain for the Christmas present an unsuspecting mum,dad, aunt or uncle will be getting next year as their present by the amount of people who had filled up on the three for two half price items in their baskets! I justified the new pencil case I purchased in WHSmith, not as a frivolous purchase but a necessary one, after all it had a picture of Eeyore on it, will hold a great many pens and pencils in it and it was the only one left on the shelf, couldn't leave it there could I? Hubby laughed, after all he had already spent the best part of £20 on himself, he wasn't going to begrudge me £4.99

So after sorting out the finances, working out what I will have to spend over the following month, I can happily say I am feeling a little bit better about things. I approach the new year hoping that it will go ok, that we don't get hit by the big CC and that we survive it intact. I feel for those that will not, been there done that, just hoping that we are not affected too badly this time round.

Have a good day xx

Was sent this by email and thought I would post on here, though I suspect it has already been done by a few of you already and I am just behind with the times lol

1) What did you do last New Year's Eve?
Spent it at a friend's house

2) Did you make any resolutions and did you stick to them?
No decided it was pointless

3) What was the high-light of 2008 for you?
Holidaying in Florida

4) What was your favourite film of (or watched in) 2008?
Has to be Mamma Mia which I got on DVD for christmas

5) What will you be doing this New Year's Eve?
Spending it at the same friend's house as last year

6) What's your favourite party tune or CD to get dressed to?
Don't really have one

7) What will you be wearing out this New Year?
Haven't decided, may be trousers and a black top or jeans and black top

8) Getting trollied or designated driver?
As I will only be round the corner from home I will refrain from drinking too much and being good ( who am I kidding!!)

9) What is your tipple of choice?
Rose Wine or vodka and coke

10) Who is the first person you will kiss in 2009?
Hubby of course

11) Who is the first person you will call in 2009?
My mum probably

12) Will you make any resolutions?
No

13) What month will you keep your resolutions going until?
Not making any

14) What will be your high-light of 2009?
Getting through the year still being healthy with my family

15) Any tips or advise you'd like to share with your blog buddies?
Don't ever regret what you have done, it made you what you are

I have spent a happy few hours looking at laptops available, comparing prices and looking at the difference between netbooks and notebooks and laptops which was a mind boggling experience.

I have ordered a Toshiba Notebook from one of my catalogues so that I can pay it off monthly and I have set up a direct debit in order to do so. I have got an extended 2 year Warranty on it as well, which covers just about everything in case it should go wrong. Ok it doesn't have a cd drive, which is a bit of a pain, but I still have the desktop for that. All I wanted to be able to do was connect to the internet while watching the telly and maybe do some work which will be saved on the USB stick. It also means that two of us can be on the internet at the same time which has please no.1 son. Anyway I figured, I could always get an external cd drive if I find I need one

I may have been a touch hasty and yes I probably could have got it cheaper elsewhere, but after browsing round yesterday I found that most of them in the shops have Vista on them and this one has XP and was in a sale, so I am pleased

I am hungry. Can't eat till I have been to fat club and found out how much I have put on in weight lol

That's all for now folks

It took all day, including a trip to PC World, but eventually I have managed to set up the router I got for Christmas. Despite all the instructions telling me that it was easy to install and that I would be up and running in ten minutes, it took the best part of 6 hours to get this far! Still, Everything is working as it should be though the ethernet cable is not good and may be damaged so going to get onto the manufacturers first thing tomorrow in the hope I can get it changed.

However, cannot set the laptop up wirelessly as for some reason the CD rom drive is failing to work properly and so the set up disk will not work! Trying to decide if getting a new laptop may be the way forward there.

Eldest child is happily playing away with his DS online now and playing some game against someone from Japan. Youngest is in a sulk as I will not help him set up his DS to go on the internet which is of course causing all sorts of strive "He's on it why can't I?" sort of whingeing till I fanally lost it and said "Si is 17 you are only 10 work it out for yourself" at him. Needless to say he is not speaking to me now and I am the worst mother ever, but tough is what I say to that!

Right, now to get some settings configured

Hope you are all having a good day

Hugs xxxx

Honestly it really hasn't been all day!!

Cast your mind back a couple of days.

Yes that's right, cast it back to Christmas day.

Excitment reigned in Faffajane's house as the youngest child rudely woke up his parents to shw them what Santa had left on the end of his bed. Hubby, of course, wanted to open his Christmas present, and not the one Santa left by the bed of course, but the present wouldn't allow him as she knew there was a turkey waiting dying to be cooked in the oven, and vegetables to be prepared if we were going to have any hope of having any dinner at all!

Convincing youngest child that it was a good idea to get washed and dressed, convincing eldest child that getting out of bed was a must and making sure octopus hands was no where in reach, the young (ok who am I kidding) intrepid explorer traipses down the stairs to heat up the oven and put turkey uncomplainingly into the oven to cook before making her way back up the stairs and claiming the bathroom as her own in which to beautify herself and hide the dark circles under eyes due to lack of sleep as she had to make sure the dogs did not break down the living room door, and go a hunting for their presents!

Once everyone had congregated downstairs, much oohing and ahhing was heard as one by one presents were handed out, the wrapping paper ripped opened and excited exclamations were heard as they found the item they had longed for all year ( I have writers rights to embellishing this story!).

None of this was as good as the one that was heard as they opened the family present that Santa had left though. Oh no. The excited squeal that was heard as that large present was opened, the sheer delight uttered as discovered within that colourfully wrapped parcel was the one thing they had waited for all year - a nintendo Wii.

While an aged P looked on in the form of MIL, we all tried out our new present, complete with a Wii fit that Santa had kindly remembered to bring with it. We set up our individual Miis taking time deciding what they should look like then challenged one another to a game of bowling. Next would come golf, striking a 'swing your arms in the air like you don't care' kind of pose. Trying out the Wii fit lead to hysterical laughter as you stood in various poses, pretended to jog, ski, or do the ski slalom. Hula hooping was fun, though losing one's balance was not so much fun as you try to catch a hoop and still wriggle your hips (course octopus hands liked that one!).

Discovering one hasn't got a lot of balance held no surprises, though being told you are a lot older fitness wise than your actual age isn't much fun, I think I sulked a little there though, who am I kidding, that wasn't that much of a surprise really, considering, as I tried to get out of bed this morning with a bad back, I did feel like I was 65!

The best bit is playing together. We have so many consoles all with games for one player. With this it makes it much more exciting, so many games for the family to play.

The only one I am disappointed with so far is the Brain Training academy, I am hoping as I get better at it, it will give me more tasks to complete because at the moment it is so boring!

........................................................................

In other Christmas news, I got quite a few nice presents - a jewellery box from my friend, perfume - from hubby, castlevania game for PS2 from my eldest, A necklace and earring set, some pyjamas, three books, two DVD box sets, Duffy CD, Kaiser Chiefs CD, an organiser for the car, a beatrix potter figurine, and a router, which I have to work out how to connect. At the moment my broadband box is via USB hub and the router is Ethernet - I only hope it is easy to set up the broadband on the ethernet so I can work out how to set up the router!

Oh and yes, before you ask, we did beat our record of 34 DVDs for Christmas - we got a total of 37!

It has been great fun this Christmas! Now it only I can work out how to get out of this chair so I can take my tablets lol

Hugs to you all!

My wonderful son, is at this moment in time, finishing off the remainder of the ironing that I started yesterday, while I take a little time off from the busyness of cleaning to blog and play catch up.

The computer will be set up so the children (well the youngest child), can follow Santa's progress while hubby and I sit and watch the many xmas DVDs we have and try to behave as normal as possible. He has just moaned, as he was putting some of the presents under the tree, that I seem to have bought more for him than he has for me - but that is normal, I see something I know he will like and buy it - mostly cheap silly little gifts that look more wrapped than they actually are. There is a fair amount of pressies under the tree at the moment, the worrying thing is, there are another 4 sacks of presents to get out of the loft and be put under there yet. Me thinks getting into the living room tomorrow will be difficult!

Oh and before anyone gets the wrong impression, the gifts are quite large, well some of them and of course the all important trying to out do the amount of DVDs one can get Christmas morning is a tradition now, so there are a few of them.

Last total was 34, lets see if we can beat that this year lol

So in case I don't manage to get on here later, I am going to wish you all, my friends old and new, a very merry Christmas. Hope you get what you dream for, your loved ones are with you and you have the very best of fun - eat, drink and be merry

Love and hugs to you all. xxxxx

Saturday Evening:

The Quiz groups Xmas bash in town, all organised by moi was excellent.

Food good, Disco great, company brilliant!

The DJ, though a bit of a pratt, was good in his own bizarre way, he had a sense of humour. One of our party ordered cheese and biscuits for desert, but all he had was a fork and spoon, so when the DJ asked if there were any requests, S went up and said "Yes, can I have a knife please, table two"

So the DJ, put out a request for everyone to hear for a knife to be given to table two and that, set of the entire evening, non stop laughter and fun!!

Trying to upload piccies onto facebook right now, but here is one of dear hubby and I for now

Despite feeling as though Metallica had set up a studio in my head, a carpenter in my throat and someone having run away with my voice in the night, i did manage to make it to town this morning.

Now, at this time of year, I happily can avoid going into town, but for some reason, hubby seems to think that he hasn't bought enough Christmas presents and anyway the housekeeping money will not transfer itself over, so we were in the town centre by 8.30 and despite there only being about two shops open, it was packed.

Heaving with sweaty bodies.

Heaving with children who clearly didn't want to be there ( then again neither did their parents!)

So we made our way to Wilkinsons to stock up on a couple of items, where the parents of one particular child let them pull the basket that is on wheels (whoever thought that was a good idea clearly needs their head examined) and get in the way of everyone in the shop when she wasn't bashing the basket on wheels into you.

coming out of there, relatively unscathed, to go to the bank, then to Greenfields for Breakfast (Debenham man hasn't been around for a while so really isn't worth eating there anymore as there is no longer nothing nice to look at) before splitting up and making a few last minute purchases.

Then you see either people you work with or people you used to work with, so of course you stop and pass the time of day with them in between shopping.

I did manage to buy a necklace to go with my dress, not found shoes, but as hubby says I have so many I should have a pair that will go somewhere! My hair got done yesterday, copper highlights with some blonde mixed in, new makeup purchased (hubby nearly went a pale colour when he saw the price of lipsticks!) and now all I have to do is find my evening bag, decide on when to get ready and hopefully after yet another lemsip, I will be able to party the night away.

Right better get off and wrap a few items up, sleep a little while hubby has his two hour bath.

Youngest son is on the playstation, eldest has gone bowling.

Typically none have thought of making me a cup of tea yet lol!

I found this and thought of you because this he is delicious

We have taste girl!!

I wasn't expecting any gifts from the kids at school, which is just as well as I didn't get any. Not even a card.

Nice to be appreciated isn't it lol

However got a bottle of wine from one year leader, and a present from another, which I suspect may be a mug. Haven't opened it yet, will wait until xmas day.

No cards forthcoming from staff either! So glad the end of term has arrived. It's the holidays!!!!

So decided not to make the effort of dressing up, just to go back to school for this evening's festivities, well I am not feeling 100%, I have a do tomorrow which I have to feel well for as I organised it, and I really need an early night.

I have spent the best part of 2 hours making up place cards for tomorrow so that people don't sit next to who they don't want to and they sit next to who they do. Of course you can't please everyone, but hey one tries. On them I have their name (obviously) on one side and the food they ordered on the other. Inside I have put a little festive joke, the type that you usually get in an Xmas cracker (well it wouldn't be Christmas without a stupid joke that isn't even remotely funny) and a Christmas greeting. All good fun.

all of them have now been laminated and put into an envelope ready to hand in tomorrow for the staff to put on the tables. It is the Quiz night's christmas do tomorrow and that I am looking forward to.

Right not much to ramble on about for now, going to check up on my emails now

have a good evening

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb). The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Women blink twice as often as men. The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. Women reading this will be finished now. Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay,
here's what you're supposed to do. Change all the answers so that they apply to you on your blog. See it is simple really.....Tis the Season to be NICE!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually try and get it up 2nd weekend in December

4. When do you take the tree down? Just before new year as I like the house clean and tidy

5. Do you like eggnog? Disgusting, vile stuff.....no

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Tiny tears

7. Hardest person to buy for? My nan

8. Easiest person to buy for? Nigel

'9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? haven't had a bad gift

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Muppet Christmas carol

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Whenever I see a present I know someone will like

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mince pies

16. Lights on the tree? Yes

17. Favorite Christmas song? A spaceman came travelling, or power of love or......... hell most of them

18. Travel at Christmas? No

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? yes

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Busy shops

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Red and gold

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? CD's,DVD's,perfume, radley bag, router & just being with my family

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring
Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

.
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread..

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
'Pies you dumb arse!'

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
And turned its wool to nylon.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

I am finding it difficult to breath through my nose right now. I know I have problems with the sinuses and the decongestant, is quite honestly, useless.

I am full of cold.

I am fighting it.

So many people off work at the moment and there I am still dragging myself in. I am determined it will not get the better of me, it is only a cold, I tell you, nothing more.

Anyway today my line manager is taking me out for lunch, I am not going to miss that now am I lol

In other news, anyone else find it a little warmer today than it has been all week?

Right better stop my son talking to himself and fighting imaginary enemies and get him round to my friends to take him to school so I can get to work myself.

Thankfully timetable has been abandoned - well it is coming up to Christmas, all those activities the little darlings are partaking in lol Only two days to go

Right enough rambling, better get off!

Hugs xxx

Happy Birthday Redleader!!!!

Have a great day

hugs xxx

Now I am used to himself shouting at the telly when the football is on, even when he has watched the game live from the terraces, he still manages to scream at the telly as he watches the highlights.

In fact I am used to most of his idiosyncrasies, after all I wouldn't have stayed married to him for 18 years if I wasn't prepared to put up with it.

but honestly, the fact that right now, he is sitting there, in front of the telly, watching Bid up t.v. because "there is nothing else on and why do we have all these channels when there is nothing on to watch!" really does push the boundaries of sensibility.

What is even worse is he is shouting at the telly -

"Don't buy it you stupid people it's a load of crap"

"What the hell are they trying to sell now!"

"No wonder people are ill, who the hell would want to buy that, they will try and sell such utter crap on this channel!"

there are limits!

EDIT: he has changed channels, now watching price drop TV and shouting what he thinks the item will go for.

he really is losinghis marbles you know

1. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."

2. Hang a stocking with your roommate's name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it.

3. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.

4. Sing "All I want for Christmas is your two front teeth..."

5. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.

6. Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.

7. Take some miniature marshmallows and put them in a little baggie. Attach a note to the bag that has a picture of a snow man and this poem:

'You have been naughty, and here's the scoop
All you get is the snowman's poop!'

Top Ten Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don't Like

10. Hey! There's a gift!
9. Well, well, well ...

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4. I love it -- but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

2. To think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

And the Number One Thing to say about a Christmas gift you don't like:

1. "I really don't deserve this."

Office Holiday Memo

To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)

3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

The excitement of picking number for your secret Santa.

You pick your number and you wait with anticipation, eager to find who will be the person you will blog about, the person to whom you will introduce the blogging world to.

This year was no exception. The excitement building, my number given. The number 13 gave me someone who is relatively new to our blogging community, having only just started blogging in October of this year, a post that starts with ‘This seemed a good idea yesterday!Well I am here now, so I guess it's time to explore’ which earned her a welcoming 7 comments on her first post.

So what can I tell you about this blogger? Well she doesn’t take herself seriously, and you get the feeling that she will laugh her way through whatever hand life deals her. Her blog is full of humour, lots of pictures that have a story and lots of jokes to make you smile. She has a keen interest in new ideas, photography, open spaces, spirituality and the power of the written and spoken word. She is just passing through, describing herself in her profile as an English female of 85 years, though I can tell you having studied one of her profile pictures I only hope I look that good at 85 (me thinks that really she is only trying to fool us about her age ).

A happy Sunday afternoon was spent looking through her blog, earning me looks of dismay from my children as I sat chuckling away. This blog was and is a pleasure to read and will never fail to raise a smile.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I urge you to pay a visit to the blog of Zsussanna at http://me2935.blog.co.uk

The Rules:
1. You can only say YES or NO!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!

Taken a picture naked? : - no
Made out with a member of the same sex? : - no

Danced in front of your mirror? : - Yes

Told a lie? : - Yes

Gotten in a car with people you just met?: - Yes
Been in a fist fight? : - Yes

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : - no

Been arrested? : - No

Left your house without telling your parents? : - no
Ditched school to do something more fun? : - no

Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : - Yes

Seen someone die? : - no
Kissed a picture? : - no
Slept in until 3? : - Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : - Yes
Played dress up? : - Yes

Fallen asleep at work/school? : - no
Felt an earthquake? : - Yes

Touched a snake? : - Yes

Ran a red light? : - Yes

Had detention? : - no
Been in a car accident? : - Yes

Pole danced? : - No
Been lost? : - Yes

Sang karaoke? : - No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : - Yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : - Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : - Yes

Kissed in the rain? : - Yes

Sang in the shower? : - Yes

Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : - No

Ever gone to school partially naked? : No
Sat on a roof top? : - no

Played chicken? : - No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : - no

Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : - no
Broken a bone? : - Yes
Mooned/flashed someone? : - no
Forgotten someone's name? : - Yes

Slept naked? : - Yes

Blacked out from drinking? : - no
Played a prank on someone? : - No
Felt like killing someone? : - Yes
Made a parent cry? : - No
Cried over someone? : - Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : - no

Had/Have a dog? : - Yes
Been in a band? : - No
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : - No
Shot a gun? : -no

Morning all

Well as I said to hubby while out shopping yesterday, three bottles of wine for £10 is a good deal, especially when they have my favourite in the 3 for £10 deal as well.

So yes I shall be stocking up on that, just like Santa will be as well

I don't feel too good this morning, this cold is hanging around and seems to be immune from the beechams. Still nothing for it I will have to go to work, there is no excuse for not being there. Only got to get to the end of this week and the holidays begin yipeee!

Right see you all later.

Have a good day

hugs xxx

here

One arrives home after battling their way through the crowds in Asda and then iceland, all in the knowledge that you are buying enough food to fill a freezer and feed the entire East Anglian regiment in case they should decide to spend Christmas with you, to log onto the computer and check one's emails.

Which of course, as we all know, there is nothing there remotely interesting, but we all live in hopes that the person you emailed about something so incredibly important, has obviously decided to ignore it and carry on with their day, leaving you in suspense as to whether the answer is yes or no! Mind you, I am assuming that they can be bothered to sit in front of their computer at all of course and not just ignoring my email but a million others that have come their way.

So I work my way through the junk which tells me that:

1) I have a prize waiting for me (yeah right, delete)
2) Save up to 50% on selected menswear (no thanks, delete)
3) The results are in (oh good, delete)
4) Faffajane claim your prizes (no thanks, spam, delete)
5) It was unbelievable, (yes so I heard, delete)
6) Viagra, buy now (no thanks, delete)

Interestingly my mother sent me a photo of my nan and grandad on my dad's side which she found as she was looking for something else. I like old photos, those brown hues that show up in the black and white photos the clothes they wore in the 40's so stylish.

Unfortunately Grandad died when dad was three so he never saw his son grow up, that is if he ever saw him as a baby as he was fighting in the war when Dad was born.

Nan died recently but we weren't close, in fact I will be more upset when my other nan (mum's mum) dies.

Right time moves on, must check how much I have overspent by because there was a lot of food we bought and it cost an awful lot of money eekkk!

So not content in sitting on the terraces, in the pouring rain, watching a match that didn't go anywhere fast by all accounts, he arrives home, makes himself something to eat then

puts match of the day on!!

So I am cold, just had a beechams as feeling shivery, nose is running again and have a sore throat, therefore I will leave him to the telly and head off to Bedfordshire, to the comfort of my duvet.

Nite nite all

Right I have had a redesign, ready for Christmas. Not sure if I like it or not but it will do for now as it took me ages :groan

Spent the day shopping, not for pressies, but for that elusive dress and guess what?

Yep I managed to find one eventually. Good old Debenhams!!!

Just ordered a cardi to go with it so I don't feel so cold, got some shoes in the wardrobe that will go with it as well. Ordered some stockings and strapless bra from Figleaves, found the suspenders, and now I am all set for next week! Can't wait now!

Oh and the best bit? Well after trying on far too many dresses last week and finding that I couldn't get one that fitted properly (either too big in the bust or too tight on the hips no happy medium) I took two into the dressing room with me and tried on the first one that fitted perfectly! And it was a bargain as well, because though it said it was reduced in the Debenhams sale, I got a further 20% off it! So happy. Reminded Nigel that I need more money though

Now all I have to do is starve myself this week to make sure that I don't put on any weight lol

Right so that is me for now, what have you been up to then today?

Oh and it is chucking it down outside, I have cold feet, the kids are moaning they are hungry and hubby is getting wet watching the football so life is good as they say lol

Have a fantastic day celebrating the big 5 0 today!

Hugs xxxxxx

Hypothetically speaking.........

If you are summoned into the office to meet with your line manager and boss, and another person is there minuting that meeting, are you entitled to see a copy of those minutes?

BTW it wasn't me, just trying to give the correct advice to someone who it has happened to.

Many thanks x

I struggled to emerge from the snugness of my duvet this morning.

Not sure how I am feeling, but know for a fact that I have a cold coming. Blocked sinuses, tickly throat.

Armed myself up with beechams, vit c, zinc, echinacea you name it, it has been consummed this morning in the hope that I can ward of the latest virus that has hit the school - 27 children off in one year group and that doesn't count the children who had taken the day off because of Eid.

Teachers dropping like flies, come into work to be sent home a couple of hours into the day.

Not long now till the end of term, I pray if I am going to be ill again, let it be before the end of term and not during the holidays!

Right better battle on, work has to be done!

Have a good day

Arriving home today hubby is in the loft getting down the Christmas decorations. There followed a half hour conversation whereby he instructed supervised eldest child's tree building skills

"Treat it gently"

"Spread the legs"

"push it is gently, don't be rough!"

Good job I was there otherwise I would have thought they were discussing something else!

I decorated the tree once it was up. That is my job. No one else is allowed to do it!

My angel is a bit lopsided though, looks like she has had one to many to drink. Hubby takes immense pleasure putting that angel on top of the tree, with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his lips as he comes out with something rude as only he can.

Honestly some men never grow up!

In other news I lost 2½ Ibs at fat club tonight, which is good considering I haven't been at all good food wise though I have been ill and stressed. Suppose that will mean I will have to be extra good this week then lol

Have a good evening

I have to say, much to my shame, mine isn't very clean at the moment.

After having felt poorly everything has got worse than usual. The children really think items manage to walk to the dishwasher by themselves, that the fairies will dust and hoover and clean up after them.

I spent today cleaning the living room and dining room. I got hubby to move the unit that houses the stereo to the other side of the room. We moved the t.v. stand over slightly. I moved furniture and hoovered under and behind them. I dusted till you can see your reflection in the surfaces. Eldest son was supposed to get the feather duster and evict a few spiders from their homes (afterall they haven't paid their rent for a while so in this economic climate they needed to be evicted - they were warned) but as I look about me one is appearing as I type so may need to get the duster out again. All the plates on the dining room shelves were cleaned and everywhere dusted - I just need to sort out my computer table now. Wooden floor swept and order restored. Now have to do the kitchen and bathroom, but that may be a job for during the week after work.

I was going to put the tree up, but I am tired from my efforts. Just wrapped a few presents and realised I made a mistake with one. Just printed off a returns label from Amazon so that I can send it back.

Not looking forward to work tomorrow, but only two weeks left, think I can manage that before I go mad?

Right off to have a cup of tea

Dear Lord,

Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:

God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm
And safe from harm
For they're so close to me.

And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.

Now I know that it's unusual
To Bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.

You see, that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends;
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.

I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.

By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you.
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.

Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.

Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox
And each person who hits 'send'.

When you update your Heavenly list
On your own Great CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer
Sent up to GOD.Com

Amen

Eldest child is throwing up again.

Will this ever end?

Hope you have a wonderful birthday.

Hugs xxxx

Yesterday, youngest son got up and one side of his face is covered in a red rash - looked like someone had slapped him.

After spending some time in front of the internet and half and hour on the phone to NHS direct being passed from one nurse (I am assuming here) to another) the diagnosis confirmed my initial thoughts - he has slap cheek.

After having had Monday off already, gone to work Tuesday, decided I couldn't take another day off, so I sent him to stay with his Nan for the day and went to work.

Today both of us are off. This morning I woke and promptly threw up. I feel shivery, headachey, sick and have stomach cramps.

It is cold, no snow, just horrid, horrible rain.

Not a happy bunny, off back to reconnect with my duvet in a mo.

I tend not to go into my children's rooms. I believe that they should have privacy if they want, to be allowed to arrange their rooms as they want. All I require is that washing makes an appearance for me to do rather than hunt for and beds are changed regularly (hopefully once a week but I have two boys so the sheets do tend to walk to the washing machine by themselves if I don't nag the kids for them).

So imagine my surprise today, while in the process of looking after them and putting away the mountain of ironing that I had tackled to relieve the boredom of my enforced saty at home, when I went into youngest child's room to find his window dripping in condesation and water marks on the walls. His room gets quite warm so he tends to turn off his radiator, thereby when it is turned on again there is a lot of condensation. Mind you since we had the double glazing installed there is a lot of it in the house. We are an end house as well so it gets quite cold compared to our neighbours house which is warm and though the heating is on low, we still swim in condensation on the windows. Hubby is convinced the company that put them in were cowboys!

I know that ventilation could ease the problem and I do tend to open the windows to 'air out' as my mother would say, but it isn't easing it.

Instead of a holiday next year we have decided to tackle the endless list of jobs - new bathroom, decorate hallway etc, that needs to be done. The list is getting bigger. Decorate a bedroom and sort out the condensation problem has just been added to it

Today dawns and I feel like I should have one of those red crosses on my front door to warn people that the lurgy is residing here.

Hubby is still ill and has not emerged from the cocoon of the bed.

both children are being sick.

So far I feel ok, but it is only a matter of time before I come down with something isn't it lol!

Don't think work will be happy at me taking time off, but I didn't have a choice, Nigel can't look after himself at the moment let alone two vomiting children.

Just put the washing machine on again and had something to eat. Hope you are all feeling fine and hearty.