Spread your wings and fly away

Now I am used to himself shouting at the telly when the football is on, even when he has watched the game live from the terraces, he still manages to scream at the telly as he watches the highlights.

In fact I am used to most of his idiosyncrasies, after all I wouldn't have stayed married to him for 18 years if I wasn't prepared to put up with it.

but honestly, the fact that right now, he is sitting there, in front of the telly, watching Bid up t.v. because "there is nothing else on and why do we have all these channels when there is nothing on to watch!" really does push the boundaries of sensibility.

What is even worse is he is shouting at the telly -

"Don't buy it you stupid people it's a load of crap"

"What the hell are they trying to sell now!"

"No wonder people are ill, who the hell would want to buy that, they will try and sell such utter crap on this channel!"

there are limits!

EDIT: he has changed channels, now watching price drop TV and shouting what he thinks the item will go for.

he really is losinghis marbles you know

1. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."

2. Hang a stocking with your roommate's name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it.

3. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.

4. Sing "All I want for Christmas is your two front teeth..."

5. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.

6. Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.

7. Take some miniature marshmallows and put them in a little baggie. Attach a note to the bag that has a picture of a snow man and this poem:

'You have been naughty, and here's the scoop
All you get is the snowman's poop!'

Top Ten Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don't Like

10. Hey! There's a gift!
9. Well, well, well ...

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4. I love it -- but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

2. To think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

And the Number One Thing to say about a Christmas gift you don't like:

1. "I really don't deserve this."

Office Holiday Memo

To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)

3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

The excitement of picking number for your secret Santa.

You pick your number and you wait with anticipation, eager to find who will be the person you will blog about, the person to whom you will introduce the blogging world to.

This year was no exception. The excitement building, my number given. The number 13 gave me someone who is relatively new to our blogging community, having only just started blogging in October of this year, a post that starts with ‘This seemed a good idea yesterday!Well I am here now, so I guess it's time to explore’ which earned her a welcoming 7 comments on her first post.

So what can I tell you about this blogger? Well she doesn’t take herself seriously, and you get the feeling that she will laugh her way through whatever hand life deals her. Her blog is full of humour, lots of pictures that have a story and lots of jokes to make you smile. She has a keen interest in new ideas, photography, open spaces, spirituality and the power of the written and spoken word. She is just passing through, describing herself in her profile as an English female of 85 years, though I can tell you having studied one of her profile pictures I only hope I look that good at 85 (me thinks that really she is only trying to fool us about her age ).

A happy Sunday afternoon was spent looking through her blog, earning me looks of dismay from my children as I sat chuckling away. This blog was and is a pleasure to read and will never fail to raise a smile.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I urge you to pay a visit to the blog of Zsussanna at http://me2935.blog.co.uk

The Rules:
1. You can only say YES or NO!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!

Taken a picture naked? : - no
Made out with a member of the same sex? : - no

Danced in front of your mirror? : - Yes

Told a lie? : - Yes

Gotten in a car with people you just met?: - Yes
Been in a fist fight? : - Yes

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? : - no

Been arrested? : - No

Left your house without telling your parents? : - no
Ditched school to do something more fun? : - no

Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : - Yes

Seen someone die? : - no
Kissed a picture? : - no
Slept in until 3? : - Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : - Yes
Played dress up? : - Yes

Fallen asleep at work/school? : - no
Felt an earthquake? : - Yes

Touched a snake? : - Yes

Ran a red light? : - Yes

Had detention? : - no
Been in a car accident? : - Yes

Pole danced? : - No
Been lost? : - Yes

Sang karaoke? : - No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? : - Yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : - Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : - Yes

Kissed in the rain? : - Yes

Sang in the shower? : - Yes

Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : - No

Ever gone to school partially naked? : No
Sat on a roof top? : - no

Played chicken? : - No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : - no

Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? : - no
Broken a bone? : - Yes
Mooned/flashed someone? : - no
Forgotten someone's name? : - Yes

Slept naked? : - Yes

Blacked out from drinking? : - no
Played a prank on someone? : - No
Felt like killing someone? : - Yes
Made a parent cry? : - No
Cried over someone? : - Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : - no

Had/Have a dog? : - Yes
Been in a band? : - No
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : - No
Shot a gun? : -no