Spread your wings and fly away

Just about to get your nominations in for the biggest and best party of the year.

Forget the Oscars. We want your nominations for the Bloscars. So come on, go here for a copy of your nomination form and the rules and join in. Remember anyone can join in, all are welcome!

Come on what have you got to lose?

Stolen from Soy because I am bored!

Do you ever get "​​​​good m​ornin​g"​​​​ texts​ from anyon​e?​​​​
No

Who last texte​d you?
My friend to see if we were going to the quiz night

What time did you go to sleep​ last night​?​​​​
12am

What woke you up today?
The alarm

When was the last time you talke​d to your best frien​d?​​​
Wednesday

What was your dream​ about​ last night​?​​​​
In too deep a sleep to dream

Are you curre​ntly frust​rated​ with a girl?​​​​
No

Are you curre​ntly frust​rated​ with a boy?
No.

How is your hair right​ now?
Sraight, brown with red and bronze streaks

Do you prefe​r to call or text?​​​​
Call

Last time you slept​ over at someb​ody'​​​s house​?​​​​
1983 (not counting the times since I have stayed with family)

Are you a bad influ​ence?​​​​
Of course not!

When was the last time you went shopp​ing?​​​​
Last Monday to buy food

Did you laugh​ a lot at somet​hing today​?​​​​
Yes

What'​s​ bothe​ring you right​ now?
Nothing really

What were you doing​ last night​ at 11?
Coming home from quiz night

Who was the last perso​n you took a pictu​re with?​​​​
hubby

Think​ back five month​s ago, were you singl​e?​
No

Who can you blame​ for your bad mood today​?​​
No one

What do you prefe​r,​​ Skitt​les or Starb​ursts​?​​
Opal fruits (refuse to call them starbursts!)

How was last night​?​
Fun

How do you feel right​ now?
Tired and bored

Do you think​ someo​ne is think​ing about​ you right​ now?
Probably.

Could​ you go the rest of your life witho​ut smoki​ng a cigar​ette?​
Yes.

Are you a jealo​us perso​n?​
No

Does it take a lot to make you cry?
No

Who was the last perso​n you texte​d?​
Hubby

Have you ever read an entir​e book in one day?
yes

Think​ a lot befor​e you sleep​?​
No

Hold hands​ with anyon​e in the past 2 weeks​?​
Yes

Ever dyed your hair?​
Yes

What'​s runni​ng throu​gh your mind right​ now?
Why are my feet cold?

Do you have a frien​d of the oppos​ite sex you can talk to?
Yes

Are you someone who worries quite often?
Not really only when necessary

Have you ever kisse​d someo​ne whose​ name start​ed with a K?
No

Is there​ anybo​dy you wish you could​ be spend​ing time with right​ now?
No

What does the sixte​enth text in your inbox​ say?
Bad sneeze

Have you ever falle​n aslee​p in someo​ne'​s arms?​
Yes

Do you wish someo​ne would​ call or text you right​ now?
Not really

Is your life anyth​ing like it was a year ago?
No it is better

Where​ will you be a year from now?
Still here probably

OPEN YOUR HEARTS TO THESE TWINS!!!!!!!

We need to extend our hearts to those who need loving and caring parents - these twins are in need of a home and so I ask you to consider extending your family and your love for a worthy cause.

I have already put my name down on
the list and am willing to take them for at least one night each
week, as this is the right thing to do -
our family just needs to understand.

It is our duty to stand by these
twins and supply them with their daily needs for
survival and the chance for a happy life.

In the end it will enrich all of us, especially me.
Please look at the attached
pictures and soften your hearts for these twins.

So adorable and lovable, will you consider adoption?
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Join the queue

HOW TRUE!

Colonoscopy

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

'I should be in charge,' said the brain , 'Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would
happen.'

'I should be in charge,' said the blood , 'Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away.'

'I should be in charge,' said the stomach,' Because I process food and give all of you energy.'

'I should be in charge,' said the legs , 'because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.'

'I should be in charge,' said the eyes, 'Because I allow the body to see where it goes.'

'I should be in charge,' said the rectum , 'Because I'm responsible for waste removal.'

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work,,,

The a...hole is usually in charge

What starts with F and ends with K:

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Colin, what's your problem?"

Colin answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade and my brother is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than he is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Colin to the principal's office.

While Colin waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Colin was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 X 3?"

Colin: "9"

Pricipal: "What is 6 X 6?"

Colin: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Colin can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Colin both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of, that I have only two of?"

Colin, after a moment: "Legs"

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Colin replied: "pockets.."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps in to?"

Colin: "pants"

Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Colin: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Colin replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: " What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Colin: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: " What word starts with an "F" and ends in "K" that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Colin: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Colin in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......"

In my effort to catch up

1. What was your favourite childhood TV or radio programme? I used to like Mary, Mungo and Midge or Magic Roundabout!

2. Did you have a favourite book as a child?
Alice in Wonderland, made dad read it to us over and over again at bedtime - he put so much expression into it which made my sis and I laugh a lot

3. When playing which superhero were you? I wasn't one, I was me

4. Who was your best friend as a child? At Junior school I didn't really have a best friend, but high school I was friendly with a girl called Wendy.

5. Complete this sentence as though you were a child again. "When I grow up I want to be..." A lady who lunches with a very rich husband to support her

As it has felt like a very, very long week!!

Fortunately things are back to normal now, no longer having to run to the toilet everytime I eat something. The joys of working in a school, if you are not fully immune to the various viruses the kids bring in, you end up with every ailment under the sun - in my case a stomach bug!

However, I did go to work, I shouldn't have done, but there were meetings I had to be at that couldn't be cancelled, but I survived it even if I could have just curled up in bed and died.

The last two days I have been shattered. Nigel travelled up to Burnley on Wednesday to watch his team in some cup competition (I don't take much notice of these things) and I didn't sleep. if he had said that him and his mates were staying there overnight, it wouldn't have been a problem, I would have known he was safe and I could have slept. However, they didn't. I knew that they were travelling home, in the dark, in torrential rain, on a motorway full of lorries and yes, I worried. Who wouldn't? I am irrational at times, I talk myself into the worst case scenario in the same way as the media has talked us into a recession. I lay in bed, tossing and turning, sleep eluding me until he walked through the door at 4.30 in the morning. Surviving on an hours sleep,if that, I made my way to work where I nearly fell asleep before the litres of coffee I had consummed kicked in to my system. Quiz night - we get eliminated, not unsurprisingly, on a stupid question - if 2 is 1, 3 is 2, 5 is 3 and 7 is 4 what is 7? I will let you try it out before I tell you the answer!

Anyway managed to get some sleep last night, not for long and today after working all day without a break I can say I am delighted to be home! Weekend will no doubt be full of washing and ironing, you know the usual, though I do plan to take some time for myself and fill out my bloscars form before it is too late lol

Right enough of this inane rambling I am sure I have sent you all to sleep by now

Hugsxxx

Yes I did delete friends only post for various reasons have to find a way of saying what I want without being slanderous!

All I will say something came to my attention today which was very racist and the people doing the racism belong to a rather large and world known company. It is dispicable.

That is all

xx

Just popped by to say hi before you all forgot about me! (Yes I keep popping back like a bad penny lol!!)

Work busy, also studying for that exam that is now on 9th of Feb rather than end of this month (long story!)

Between work, home life, ill children and me having food going through me at a rate of knots, I can tell you there has been no time to pop on, so forgive me for not replying to posts or even reading them just yet, I promise I will catch up!!

Oh and don't believe that advert for Immodium. It doesn't work! Have been through three lots now and still have diahorrea!

Right must dash, got to do another online practise test!

Hugs xxx

Spewing the contents of his stomach over the medical room floor, he scared the nurse as he went a deathly shade of pale, only previously seen on occupants of a morgue. The nurse hurriedly tracked down the parents of the child, who shook while holding a sick bowl, distressed that he could see things on the floor that he was sure he hadn't eaten that morning.

After a short while, his mother arrives, takes one look at him and agrees that yes he needs to be at home, apologises profusely , telling the nurse that he hadn't shown any sign of being ill when she dropped him off and hurried him out of the building, only to deposit the child into the care of his grandparents who welcomed him with open arms.

While mum hurried back to work, safe in the knowledge that he would be well looked after and hoping to avoid getting a dressing down for yet again having to leave work due to family emergency, the grandparents allowed the sick child to fill up on junk in the form of copious amounts of chocolate, biscuits, fish fingers and cake.

When the mother returned from work, it was obvious child was not going to eat the casserole she had lovingly prepared to cook while she was out. Oh no, not he, afterall he had been adequately fed and really, would you want to eat something healthy when you had consummed all that junk? He was as high as a kite, very hyper.

Despite being off school all day, being ill, he still was able to annoy his brother, irritate his parents, wind up the dogs. He cannot go back to school for 24 hours despite the fact he has recovered from his ordeal,so it is back to the grandparents tomorrow to refuel on the junk he can cajole them into feeding him.

His mother, in the meantime, sits and types away, with an upset stomach and feels sick.

Don't you just love being a parent sometimes?

Have a good evening xx

The weekend, again, passed by too quickly. I did however manage to catch up with the washing, though there is a mountain of ironing that needs to be tackled at some point in the evening this week. When that will be though, I don't know, as I have fat club this evening after the staff meeting at work, a Governors meeting tomorrow evening, a course I am on on Wednesday evening, Quiz night on Thursday.

I also have to get another maths practice test done at some point if I am going to make the deadline enrolling on the actual test eekkk!!!

Hmm far too busy!

Waking up this morning wasn't so bad, at least it wasn't as cold as it has been. In fact it is quite mild in comparison to what it was like last week. Hopefully the children will be allowed to play outside, if the rain isn't too bad, as they were very hyper last week as they couldn't go out to play. Remember when we were kids, played out in all weathers? Well so much ice and snow on the playground, they couldn't in case one of the little darlings hurt themselves - you would have either had the wrath of the parent on you because their child hurt themselves on the ice or you are breaking Health and Safety regulations!
Talking of rain, just hear it is chucking it down out there, can hear it on the conservatory roof! Looks like they will be in at playtime afterall!!

Right, enough waffling. Going to put the soup I made through the blender, made enough to get me through the week on, nothing fancy just vegetable, and head out of that door to face what the day will bring.

Have a good day everyone

Debenhams this morning.

Hubby decides he wants a 10 item breakfast.

Gets 7 items so asks for an extra slice of toast.

The bloke serving gave him a sausage instead.

Personally I think he fancied hubby because he tried to give me food poisoning by putting an uncooked fried egg on my plate. I pointed it out to him, he questioned me until he could see that parts of the egg were still running on my plate. I got a fresh breakfast with the tiniest piece of bacon you have ever seen.

Woman behind me, laughing hysterically, asked for a cooked egg.

He, who was serving, was not amused!!

What is..

2½ inches long

And can satisfy a woman

EVERY TIME ?

No idea what you were thinking off lol

If it had happened to me I would not have been happy

I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning. It was far too cold! But after a bit of cajoling from hubby, I eventually managed to wrestle my way out of the duvet and face the world!

After putting one's morning face on to make me look more human, we headed into town for the weekly tranfer of money where the man behind the screen tried to tell me all about internet banking.

"But I do that already!" I informed him then gave him a lecture about how they will not allow us to link hubbys account with the housekeeping one which would make life easier and would avoid the hassle of going into town each week, particularly when it is cold.

We then headed to St. Albans as hubby had a test to do there. On the way there I noticed how beautiful the trees lining the road to Harpenden were looking, all white with frost, the fields behind looking as though someone had tipped up a bag of icing sugar over them. I wish I had thought of taking my camera with me as there would have been some lovely photos.

After hubby had done his testing and chatted away to the client, we popped into Morrisons. Fruit, veg, milk, breakfast cereals, something for tonight's tea and had a shock to find all that came to £81.00! Price of everything is ridiculous again and according to that annoying advert Alan Hansen does it is supposed to be quite reasonable there - obviously he isn't feeding my lot!

Back home now to catch up on the washing, housework etc, may go on the Wii later!

Hugs x

1. Is it time to change the name of the "mobile phone" as they are now more than just a phone?
I just refer to it as a mobile so it could be called personal mobile media!

2. Do you take your mobile phone on holiday with you?
I did last year as we were away when son's GCSE results came out and i arranged for a friend to text them to me

3. If you phone runs out of battery life is it a mishap or the most worst thing that can happen... ever?! A mishap I will live

4. If they're not playing the latest chart topper then it's some other electronic rubbish so is it wrong to say "I'll give you a ring!" when phones don't actually ring these days? no

5. Complete this sentence "My mobile phone is..." always in my bag and I rarely hear it when it rings

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
No though I have only been on one

3. When is the last time you cried?
Sometime last year.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
rather sleep with hubby

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
No

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Yes

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Jennifer if I was that way inclined

9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?
Only one

10. Do you know how to play poker?
No

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes It was awful!

12. What's your favorite commercial?
I don't like any commercials

13. What are you allergic to?
Hard work

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
No

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
No

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Who?

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
No

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Always

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
December 20th 2008

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Yellow submarine, hey jude, errrrrrrr

21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
I need the loo aain!

22. Name 5 things you did today?
got out of bed (big mistake)
Went to work
Went to chippy
played with new lappy
ordered hubby's birthday present

23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes

24. What mobile service do you use?
T mobile

25. Do you like Sushi?
I don't eat fish so no

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
yes

27. What do you wear to bed?
nightie

28. Been caught stealing?
No

29. what shoe size do you have?
6

30. Do you truly hate anyone?
no

31. Classic Rock or Rap?
Rock

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
So many to choose from you want me to make a choice? oh ok then Julian MacMahon

33. Favorite Song?
Nothing else matters - Metallica

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
yes I sing everywhere

35. What food do you find disgusting?
Liver, kidneys and fish

36. Do you sing in the shower?
yes see answer to 34

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
No

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
no do it to their face

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
yes

40. Have you anything else to add to this meme?
No

Sitting here, having done another online maths test in preparation for the Adult Numeracy course I will have to do, I have just noticed the heating has switched itself off for the night and I am frozen.

It is bitter cold! Think I may switch it on low and keep it on overnight!

Had to move the car and park it where hubby normally parks his van. Our road is currently like an ice rink. Driving to work this morning it felt like everything had seized up, despite the amount of anti-freeze that was in it at the weekend. Let's just say, put it in 2nd gear and it felt like the tyres were rubbing against something. Took a while to defrost the car, but I think there may have been some ice underneath it from where I gingerly tried to drive the car off the drive this morning (slight incline) that was causing the problems because after 10 mins of driving down the road in 1st gear it did manage to clear!

So not risking it on the drive overnight again, going to keep it straight!

Why is it, when you notice there is a problem, you indicate to pull over so the idiot behind you, who in fact has a lot more faith in my brakes in the ice than I do, can see you are going to pull over and rather then let you do so, as you put your hazard lights on to warn that there is a problem, they try and overtake you and then swear and toot at you because you stopped! What the hell do you think I was doing? Using the lights as pretty decorations? No I was warning you I was pulling over and then I put the hazard lights on so people could see I had stopped due to a problem I was having with the car. It seemed sensible to me to do that especially as the road I pulled over on is not the best one to stop on but I had no choice at the time. I did it because I did think at one point I may have to leave it there. Fortunately I didn't need to in the end as the problem cleared, but still some people are just downright idiotic!!

right enough of my moan. Going to turn that heating back on before we all turn blue and freeze. God only knows what my heating bill will be like this quater!

Have a good evening/night!

Hugs xxx

Snug in my bed, I awoke and realised that I really did have to go back to work today!

The snow arrived in the night, falling on top of ice which means the roads will be a nightmare and no doubt the idiots will be out in force again! They didn't grit round here, we live in a side road and despite the slight incline, we don't get gritted. Hope they remembered to do the main road though, last time they forgot!

The dogs were reluctant to go out in it this morning, can't say I blame them it is cold out there!
Managed to take some photos, not great, haven't got used to the snow/night setting on my camera yet and these were done quickly

right no more procrastinating, have to get a move on!

Have a good day xxx

THat sort of mood tonight I am afraid lol

Off now to jump onto the wii fit and see if I can beat some of hubby's scores and get some exercise at the same time lol

Have a good evening

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It's a guy thing regardles of the species

Hubby has just cooked chicken pieces and chips for dinner (never anything fancy lol ) and now the DVD is playing Never Ending story!

so suppose I had better sit with the family for a little while rather than pretend I am preparing for work tomorrow

Now I have never been a great fan of Martial art films. I can quite happily take them or leave them. My husband, on the other hand, likes them and so with our eldest child, they will often sit in front of the t.v. watching them if they are on telly or watch a DVD.

My youngest child is a fan of Bruce Lee. Quite astonishing that a 10 year old child should admire someone who died 35 years ago and who will sit and watch his films over and over again. All three love martial arts. Eldest and hubby are very much into Taekwondo, both being 1st Dans, youngest is studying for his first belt after spending three years doing another form of martial arts Wing Chun.

I remember watching Enter the Dragon when I was a child. I have watched a few films over the years, enjoy the more ‘westernised’ ones that are comical in some ways, those starring the likes of Jackie Chan, Jet Li or Yun-fat Chow, but I wouldn’t say they were fantastic, they were enjoyable in their own way, the moves you could admire, but not attempt. I have also sat through a couple of films starring Tony Jaa, Ong-bak being one that I enjoyed, purely for the grace and style of this particular actor.

What I was not prepared for, as I sat down to watch the latest offering I had purchased for my hubby for Christmas, was the star of the film Chocolate, one Nicharee "Jeeja" Vismistananda.

Chocolate is about a chocoholic, autistic, young girl called Zen, convincingly played by Jeeja Vismistananda, who has powerful martial art skills which she uses on the ruthless gangs that owe her ailing mother money, a course of action that puts her on a collision course with gangs of both the local Thai and Japanese varieties. However, she hasn’t been trained in martial arts. Her skills come from her watching it on telly and watching the Muay thai boxing school next to where she lives. Hence a lot of her moves she mimics characters from the T.V. – watch Bruce Lee and the noises he makes when he fights and you will see what I mean here as she copies the looks he makes and the noises as she fights.

Jeeja was discovered by ONG BAK director Prachya Pinkaew who wrote the film with Jeeja in mind after seeing her taking part in a local competition. She was experienced in Tae Kwondo, currently holding the rank of third dan, before training for five years with the same stunt team as Tony Jaa, as well as developing her kickboxing skills. This girl is good. She makes the likes of Jet Li and Jackie Chan look like amateurs. Watch the trailer and you know that this is action only developing Asian countries with little to no litigation industry can provide. Bone-shattering, painful, brutal and death-defyingly dangerous stunt work with no wires, no stunt doubles, and full force contact.

Did I enjoy this film? Yes, every bit of it. The film is full of action, it never stops. So much happens in it you are glued to the screen from start to finish helped by the considerable screen presence of it's main star.

Apparently fruit and veg prices are set to soar again.

Oh well, so much for healthy eating

The type that you just wish you had been there to take all found on the internet.

These pictures were taken in 1911 when the Niagara falls froze.

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged and replied, 'Si,Senor. The bull sometimes wins.'

1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. and yells . ... .
'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi'.

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the
lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after
protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St. Andrews Hosp.
Glasgow

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope
on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,'.I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes , St.Thomas's Bath

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I
told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting
to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal
fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment,
he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
'Which one ?'. . .. I asked.

'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every
six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I
wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now,
the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new
one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair , Norfolk General

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . .
.'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning
and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how was your
breakfast this morning?'

'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't
seem to get used to the taste.'. . . Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil
packet labelled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon . Bristol
Infirmary.

7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman
with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an immediate operation... When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair
had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . .
.'Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a
short note on the patient's dressing, which read 'Sorry . . . had to mow
the lawn.'

Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty , KGH London

Dr. wouldn't submit his name

Microsoft's 3,000 employees in the UK face an uncertain 2009 as the software giant considers a plan for substantial redundancies to combat the economic downturn.

At least 10 per cent, and possibly as much as 17 per cent, of its global workforce could be cut in what would be the first mass lay-offs in the company's 32-year history. Across the world, up to 15,000 jobs could be under threat.

According to rumours in the US, overseas divisions could be particularly hard hit, and an announcement of the plan could come within two weeks. The company said yesterday that it does not comment on speculation.

Analysts say the software giant faces pressure on several fronts this year. With retail spending having turned down, consumer sales of its Windows operating system – installed on nine out of ten personal computers – could slow. Businesses, too, are scaling back, threatening licence fees from its Office products, including Microsoft Word, and other corporate software. Meanwhile, online advertising growth has decelerated sharply as a result of the recession, threatening Microsoft's hopes of turning a profit at its troubled MSN internet business.

"The prevailing wisdom on Microsoft is that the company may pre-announce disappointing December results," Brad Reback, analyst at Oppenheimer & Co, told clients. "Should such headcount reductions materialise, we would view them as a positive sign that management is interested in preserving the company's operating margin structure through the downturn."

A 10 per cent cut in Microsoft's 90,000 global workforce could save $1.2bn (£826m) a year, analysts say. A Silicon Valley website reported over the new year holiday that up to 17 per cent of Microsoft's employees could lose their jobs, citing internal conversations at the company. The website, Fudzilla, said that the European divisions may be disproportionately affected.

Microsoft set up its UK subsidiary in 1982, its first overseas outpost, seven years after Bill Gates created the company to make operating systems for the nascent personal computer market. Employees are concentrated at the UK headquarters in Reading, although the British division of MSN is run from London. The company has almost doubled in size in the UK in the past five years.

Microsoft is due to report earnings for the final three months of 2008 on 21 January, but could pre-announce any revenue shortfall and any restructuring plans

Perhaps they should re think some of their Products like Windows Vista?

The first thing I noticed as I entered the bathroom, dleep still in my eyes, was how cold it was. the heating had switched off an hour ago and the bathroom always is the first room to get cold, it being on the end of the house.

As I stood, shivering under the lukewarm shower, as it tried failed to warm my body through, I remembered why I am so desperate to get that bathroom rennovated - the shower heats up when it wants to and not necessarily when you want it to, the tiles are getting harder to keep clean, and I really, really do hate green bathrooms that look like they have been covered in puke!

I hate it.

Going into the bedroom to get dressed, where hubby had thoughtfully left me a hot mug of tea, I looked at myself in the mirror, something I rarely do, and decided that yes, my stomach was getting a little smaller, perhaps it may be wishful thinking then again perhaps the exercise on the Wii fit is having an effect.

Town was busy and cold. Took ages to scrape the ice off the car this morning and she obviously likes the cold less than I do. -3.5, the temperature gauge informed me when I started the car and she struggled to get into thrid gear, I almost had to coax her to get me to our destination.

For a Saturday, for a day when the sales are in full force, town was surprisingly empty, not many people around at all. We sorted out the money in the bank, surprisngly again, no queues here either, and wandered round for the sheer fun of it. Ate breakfast in Debenhams, strolled around the empty market where people were trying hard to sell their wares for the few stalls that are still open, noticed one or two shops were desperate to sell their items by proudly exclaiming 75% off all items! in their windows, the staff looking bored behind the tills watching the world go by. The few shoppers who did enter came away empty handed.

Where Woolworths once stood - it closed down earlier this year before the other stores due to high rental charges - Marks and Spencers proudly display boardings telling us that a new one will be open in Spring, except there is hardly anyone that goes into the one we have open now. A lot of the clothes are old fashioned and you can get a better selection from M&S in Milton Keynes or Watford. One only hopes they do make this store a bigger and better one that we have at the moment, that is if we can ever afford, with the looming crisis we are facing, to shop there - i know I can't!

Hubby decided that as we only needed a few bits and bobs it wasn't worth going to Asda but to shop at Tesco's in town. I hate that Tescos. Not easy to get round, you can't find anything you need and you are followed by security who watch you diligently as if you are going to run off with that item you have in your hand as you sniff it to see if it is fresh or not!

I was, I have to admit, glad to come home. A nice warming mug of tea in hand and a slice of swiss roll (medicinal purposes of course), browsing through the local paper where I read of a young lad who had fallen over and banged his head on boxing day and died, the news is full of John Travolta's son who died after falling over in the bathroom after having a fit and then I hear of a young lad, a football supporter hubby knows, about to get married, who died after falling down the stairs last Saturday. So sad for them all and their families.

So now I will catch up with the emails, one from Mint telling me that my credit card statement is on its way to me - I don't have a mint card - another from Halifax informing me of changes to my account - I don't have a Halifax account, One from Barclays telling me my payment is overdue - payment for what exactly I haven't got anything with Barclays unless you count the Barclaycard and the payment is not overdue and it has been paid! So deleted them all as spam, and now catching up on the other emails from friends and families, so expect a few jokes being posted on here later!

Have a good day xxx

Have a fantastic day hun

Hugs xxxxx

found here

1. Any big plans for 2009? To stay fit and healthy and survive the credit crunch (not sure how yet )

2. Do you make new year resolutions? No

3. Do you keep new year resolutions? No which is why I don't make them

4. Do you think I'll keep this going? I hope so but think that you will get too busy

5. Complete this sentence: "2009 will be the year I..." actually lose weight and tone up!

Hubby went back to work this morning.

I set the alarm clock, altering the time it would come on, then settled down to sleep.

I awoke after feeling a heavy thump on the bed.

"What time is it?" I asked bleary eyed, scowling at the husband who was making a lot of noise muttering under his breath as he wrestled with a sock.

"7.30" he grumbled.

"I don't remember hearing the alarm go off" says I as I try to stretch out and pull the covers over myself.

"You didn't because it didn't go off, no one put the alarm on just altered the clock!" he mutters again "and I am late, doesn't look good that does it?" he says as he ties his shoelace, wrestles with the arms of his jumper, leans over and gives me a peck on the cheek.

"Oh don't forget it is football tonight so won't be back till late" he shouts out as he heads out the door to face the cold morning.

I have to admit I didn't turn the alarm on, I thought he had done it and neither of us thought of checking that one!

So just me and the kids here this morning. Simon will no doubt be revising for the impending exams, Richard will be alternating between the playstation and Wii while I tidy up, get some order back into this house, attempt to do some washing before I kick him off and do some exercise in the form of the Wii fit.

Hope you all have a good day

Hugs xxxx

So the new year has begun in earnest, bringing with it a houseful of very tired people who stayed up partying till the wee small hours, with friends seeing the new year in. NOt a lot has been done today. We have lounged around having watched Prince Caspian on telly, and now the Bridge to Tabitha is playing. I did try to set up a connection to my son's computer so that he can access the internet, wirelessly, but for some reason it isn't working and I can't figure out why! Never mind I will crack it one day, either that or I will be shouting for help

Hubby has just put some mexican nibbles into the oven to cook which we will pick at when they are cooked. Eldest son is furiously studying for an exam he will have when he goes back to college. He is having problems with Statistics at the moment and not enjoying that at all, but it is part of the maths course so has to be done.

So my hopes for the new year. Obviously to get through it unscathed, it will mean tightening the belts for a little while but I am sure we will survive. I hope that others will be unaffected by the problems we are facing with the economy, but I know many will be affected. I want to remain healthy and still have fun with my family.

Of course beginning of the year is always uncertain what it will bring. There always seems to be a lull as we wait for the weather to improve, the winter seems to drag. However we have the bloscars which if you are new here may I ask you to take a look and join in because it is fun and you get to read lots of new blogs as you trawl through blogland trying to find the blog you can nominate!

Right dinner is ready and he gets a little upset if you are not ready to eat so I had better depart!

Have a good evening

Hugs xxx

Wishing you all a very happy and prosperous 2009. Hope you all have a wonderful year.

Hugs xxxxx

Jan 2008
1. I am.... in front of the computer (little steps can't have it all
2. I will .... Be watching House later tonight
3. I want..... to lose weight and get back into my outfits for Florida
4. I see....some chocolate tempting me to eat them
5. I need..... to save some money for our holiday

Jan 2009
1. I am ...in front of the computer (for the third year running)
2. I will ...Be watching some DVD's later on and playing on the Wii
3. I want.... to get back into shape
4. I see......Lots of food tempting me to eat it (I shall resist!)
5. I need.... to sort out the pile of paperwork cluttering the computer desk!

Not much has changed over a year then lol

January

· Starts with a rude awakening from BIL who comes and pays his annual visit, yet we are all still in bed recovering from the party the night before!
· Hubby is ill with a cold
· The Royal Marsden Hospital goes up in flames
· Went back to work on a Thursday – stupid day to go back!
· Came down with flu – ended up on antibiotics
· Itchy ankles ended up being a infection following a bite I had received before Christmas
· Back spasms return
· Work is dire, big problems !
· have computer problems end up sending computer to computer doctor which means I suffer withdrawal symptoms!
· rash comes back on leg with a vengence, doctor gives me more creams as thinks it is dermatitis – all I know is it is very painful!
· Supervised 26 students on a freezing cold day on a rugby field while they played tag rugby!
· found it difficult to fill in Bloscar nomination form
· End January on another batch of antibiotics for a chest infection!

February
· Finally get my computer back
· Insurance company informs us that they are no longer chasing the bastard who hit my car in October due to his false documentation
· Antibiotics for throat infection
· Heath Ledger dies
· Guides start building an activity section in their field next door
· Weather gets warmer bringing out people doing gardening, washing cars and having bonfires so my washing has to dry indoors again!
· Went to see the Terracotta Warriors at the British Museum
· Booked kennels, hotel and travel insurance for holiday later in the year!
· Get called into office by HT over a reference she has had a request for – she isn’t happy accusing me of having interviews without telling her – I hadn’t even been for an interview – have no idea what she is on about!
· Celebrated friend’s birthday at casino – lost my voice – didn’t win anything
· Congratulated the winners of the Bloscars

March

· More problems at work, union called in, definitely time to move on
· Still suffering from chest infection and coughing guts up
· Had an interview for Senior TA position
· Son bought me an orchid for Mother’s day
· Our Canary dies
· HT from another school comes in to see me work with children – offers me job as senior TA
· Itchy rash on leg now diagnosed as Eczema on another course of steroid creams
· Help a friend move house
· Snow arrived
· Ill children!
· Finally signed off by Physiotherapist following accident last October!

April

· More snow
· Still coughing guts up
· Managed to find time to do some exercise
· Hubby starts talking about building an extension
· Teachers go on strike which coincided with my last day at work
· celebrate my leaving do on my birthday
· Started new job as senior TA
· Windscreen wipers are 100 years old

May

· Met some wonderful Bloggers at Greenwich
· Had dinner with Memo and Louisa which was fun
· Weather warm and sunny
· Still coughing guts up!
· Credit card is cloned and whoever cloned it spent thousands of pounds on websites registered abroad!
· Eldest son officially leaves high school – only the exams to go in for!

June

· Exams start for eldest son
· It rains a lot
· Big news story – The McCanns are thinking of going on holiday! As if anyone cares!
· Lots of frolicking wildlife
· Begin to panic that I won’t fit into holiday clothes
· Now have eye infection
· I get new glasses
· Suffer from really bad hayfever
· Have a ‘Hippie’ day at work

July

· More rain
· Found out eldest child is publishing stories on the internet
· Hubby signs us all up for gym membership
· Sister announces she is pregnant
· Youngest son has screening test for dyslexia
· Summer holidays arrive at long last!
· T.V, blows up 2nd day of holiday
· Hubby’s van finally decides to give up and go to van heaven

August

· Bad news from vet about Greyhound’s teeth, now have to save up to get them removed!
· Hubby attempts some DIY
· Youngest learns to ride his bike
· Holiday arrives – two fun packed weeks in the land of the Mouse at the Sunshine state – Disneyworld Florida here we come!

September

· Back to work
· Eldest gets GCSE results – 2 A’s, 1 B, rest all C’s – really happy!
· Government announces all children are to stay in full time education till they are 17

October

· Blog action Day, lots of bloggers posting about poverty
· Eldest son announces he has a girlfriend
· Start back at fat club
· Snow!
· Shopping in MK with two bloggers – lots of giggling

November

· Exercise regime starts again
· Out Christmas shopping
· Youngest takes part in Young Voices Choir at O2 – school takes part in the Big sing

December

· Hubby and Children ill (again!)
· Hubby has work problems
· Turns cold again suffer from cold feet for the first time in years!
· Eventually find a dress
· Have fun at Quiz night xmas do
· Have a wonderful Christmas playing on the Wii Fit – boy do I ache!
· Have fun celebrating the new year