Spread your wings and fly away

Woke up and realised I hit a low point this morning.

You would think things couldn't get worse but they do.
At the moment can't see the wood for the trees but am getting there.

Bear with me this week will be hard.

Hugs x

Imagine for the moment you are in the chip shop.

Young lady, nice figure, large breasts, low v neck top, comes over to serve you.

What do you do?

True conversation that happened today.

hubby:Errr um, errr, 2 fishcakes please, 3 1portions of chips, 1 onion rings, 1 burger, 1 cornish pastie, 1 err um (as she leans forwards) errr saveloy please.

Girl moves away comes back leans forward
"What was that again?"

Now repeat this at least 7 times with lots of ummming and errring going on as hubby tries to look anywhere other than at her tits, while I make it worse by trying not to laugh out loud.

She even got herself confused as she couldn't remember what she had wrapped up and what she needed to charge!

THe owner of the shop, leaned over and said "she's a bit slow but looks good"

I couldn't help it i had to walk out of the shop before I wet myself with laughter

Hubby joins me at the car and I ask "Whats her name then?"
"Don't know" he replies, "didn't get that far!"

And talking of things football why oh why has my hubby discovered Aussie rules footie on the telly? Is it not enough that I have to suffer during the footie season without this rubbish as well?

Someone please rescue me!!

Right shock horror, be prepared you have been warned because I am about to upset any Luton Blogger here and now.

On Sunday, Luton football team are going to play in some mickey mouse cup called "Johnson's paint trophy" at Wembley.

Lord only knows how they got there but they are playing against a small team called Scunthorpe.

I have come to the conclusion I am probably one of the few people who live in this town that hasn't got a ticket, neither do I want one because I really am not interested.

However.........

Over 30,000 tickets have been sold to apparently 'Luton supporters' who are crying because Wembley will not sell them any more tickets.

On a normal, average game, Luton has in the region of 5 and a half thousand supporters.

A big difference there I think.

Now let's look at this.

Where oh where were those supposed 30,000 supporters when the club needed them? Where were they when Luton was losing money? Let's not forget that a lot of those so called supporters gave up their season tickets last year when they thought they were going down in the league.

So these so called 'die hard' Luton football fans really are really woodwork supporters. The 30,000 fans consist of those who really don't give a damm about the team they are just out for a day out. I can guarantee almost two thirds of those going to Wembley on Sunday have never seen Luton play live, in fact I know a few that are going that haven't. A colleague of mine is really pissed off with this as well, especially as he supports them come rain or shine and follows them wherever they are playing. He is a true supporter.

Why do I care?

I don't really. I hate Luton. I hate football. However after seeing several people in Luton shirts this week and no doubt in town tomorrow there will be a few walking around wearing their colours and buying from the stall in the middle of the mall even though they have never supported Luton in their lives, it makes me mad that people are so bloody hypocritical. Hubby has been slated because he said he wasn't interested - why would he be after all he is a die hard spurs supporter. He doesn't come out of the woodwork when all is going well. He goes to games and renews his season ticket without fail no matter how badly they are doing and let's face it at the moment they seem to have forgotten what to do with a ball.

My point is, all this fever pitch in this town about a joke of a team and a joke of a cup by people who have never, ever in their lives seen one member of that team kick a ball live, is a bit false and pathetic. Sorry but if you want to support your team do it all year round, not just because they have got to Wembley.

1. Have you ever flown on Concorde??
No

2. Do you love or hate flying?
I am not that keen ok once we are in the air, hate taking off and landing

3. Have you joined the Mile High Club?
NO! I am rather choosy where I do these things you know!

4. Why are aircraft toilets so small?
So that anyone above a size zero is very uncomfortable why anyone wants to join the mile high club in one is beyond me!

5. Do you always get sat next to the passenger from hell? Tell us the story!
No I just get them in front of me trying to lay on my lap!

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Paper cut on my thumb -bled for ages!

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM?
Horrible yellow wallpaper

3. WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Sony Ericson slide phone W850i

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Mainly rock

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
12.03 - well it was dinnertime and I needed some food!

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Not to go to work so tired

7. WHO DO YOU MISS?
Grandad

10. WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Jane

11. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED:
Don't watch much t.v. so haven't really got a preference.

12. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?
Hubby when he went to work this morning

13. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
No

14. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My niece when she was born

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Paris or poison depending on my mood

16. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Dark hair

17. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?
no preference really can I be both?

18. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
COFFEE

19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Tomato, cheese and mushroom

20. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Roast dinner

21. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU MAD?
My sons

22. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
Yes - Gobbledegook

23. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
A huge Teddy bear that now sits on top of my telly in my room and attacks hubby as he walks past it every morning!

24. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
Yes like a lot of people

25. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
No

26. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Anything that is comfortable and fits

27. WHAT’S YOUR DREAM CAR?
One with four wheels

28. WHAT COLOR IS IT?
Sky blue

29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF EXERCISE?
Pilates

30. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
probably though I love my hubby

31. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Tell them

32. WRITE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
54

33. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes

34. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
Hubby

35. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
bigotry and ignorance

35. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHAT PLACE DID YOU LIKE BEST?
Florida

36. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Ritz crackers, chocolate

37. FRIES/CHIPS, RICE OR BEANS?
Rice

38. FIRST JOB?
sales assistant for a DIY shop

39. EVER PRANK CALLED SOMEONE?
no

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?
Eating breakfast

41. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Tummy tuck

42. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS MEME?
Thought what the heck

43. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
being able to have fun

44. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Drink more tea

45. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My hubby and sons

46. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
I have enough - two

47. WHERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No

48. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
I have done

49. WHICH FINGERS IS YOUR FAVORITE?
My ring finger

50. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
1st of March when my niece was born

A friend of mine had a birthday last Friday. We gave up buying each other presents - buying presents for each other at Cristmas is stressful enough so we now buy theatre tickets for the local theatre in Dunstable for a performance we may like near our birthdays.

So for her birthday, I got tickets to see

Geoff Tippett has arranged a special birthday treat for his old stick-at-home friend Bob. The treat is a hotel room for the night. Complete with champagne. A double bed which folds up into the wall! Don’t ask! Because also present is a very attractive girl called Mimi. Shy Kate has also booked into the hotel after arranging a computer agency date with over-amorous Dick. Things start to go awry when the temperamental Italian room-waiter, Tony, shows the wrong people to the wrong rooms. Bob mistakes Kate for Mimi. And Dick ends up with Bob’s wife, Liz. Chaos and confusion reign as the foursome try to sort themselves out. Not at all helped by the highly excitable Tony. An evening of delicious and uproarious fun for all!

We knew it was a comedy but I wasn't too sure what we could expect to see. Afterall it may not appeal to our sense of humour or we may leave disappointed.

We needn't have feared though. The production was great and yes it was very comical. I love it when performers try so hard not to laugh at themselves on stage and fail, they were laughing as much as we were to the point where one of the actors announced he was going to exit stage left so that he could look at the script! He had laughed so much he had forgotten his lines and his colleagues were just as bad!

If you ever find that it is showing in your area then I urge you to see this you will not be disappointed. I haven't laughed so much in years, both of us had tears rolling down our faces and we clutched our sides as we left the theatre as they ached so much from the laughter!

BIRTHDAY SUITE by Robin Hawdon starring DAMIAN WILLIAMS, BEN RODDY, CHARLOTTE MOORE, PATRICK MONCKTON and REBECCA NOON

Copying AJ I just had to look up what I had blogged a year ago today.

Tuesday Morning

Have you ever got up in the morning and realised you have made a huge mistake?

In other news, most of my bank holiday has been taken up with a sick child. Well he isn't really that sick but he has a hacking cough, one that goes on and on and on and on till no matter where you are in the house you can hear him coughing all day and night long. Of course he is clingy, tired due to lack of sleep, and we spent most of yesterday curled up on the sofa, me periodically checking his temperature, watching lots of children's films till I got to the stage of being able to recite them word for word.

Having spent the best part of the weekend with my youngest child, while hubby takes the eldest son to work with him, I was hoping for some repite towards evening time when the workers came home. This didn't happen though until after youngest had been put to bed. I cleaned the kitchen and sat down to read my book. Hubby took himself off upstairs to play his game on the playstation which is when I heard Richard coughing again for the umpteenth time and then start to cry. Hubby losing his temper and doors being slammed and a lot of movement upstairs.

Decided to keep out of the way, being the caring, concerned mother I am, afterall, hubby was upstairs and dealing with things his own way.

When all was calm once more I headed up to the bathroom where I find Richard's bedding on the floor.

"What happened?" says I

"He wet his bed" says the concerned father. From the smell of it that is not all he had done. Apparently he started another coughing fit and lost control of bladder and bowels. After that everytime he coughed he ran to the bathroom - just in case - he was clearly mortified the poor thing!

I wasn't impressed though afterall what idiot leaves the soiled washing on the bathroom floor? Would it have been too much of a hassle to bring it downstairs and put it in the washing machine? Clearly yes, it was and after I shouted as much and got everyone running all round the place taking the soiled items downstairs and putting them in the said washer, giving instructions on how to turn the washer on so that the items could be washed, I finally made it to bed, where I lay awake listening to child coughing, and coughing and coughing.

Fortunately he doesn't seem to be so bad this morning, he has calmed a little and the cough isn't as noisy as it was over the weekend. Hopefully we are over the worst of it now.

Better get on and do some more washing and housework now, or take a leaf out of a blogfriend's book and make a cuppa first!

Have a good day everyone

xxx

Then later:

So my day so far went like this:

Getting out of bed was obviously going to be a mistake as I:

1) stubbed my toe on the end of the bed
2) couldn't find any clean underwear and realised that it was all probably at the bottom of the ironing pile
3) cleared up the pile of sick that one of the dogs(most likely Baron) decided to leave at the bottom of the stairs for me
4) Check my account online - a bad move, not as much in the account as I thought there was
5) find youngest still coughing his guts up
6) Virgin flipping media is having a fit on my cable box again and you can't change the fecking channels or look up what you are watching.
7) A phone call to a doctor to make an appointment for youngest and myself, they are fully booked and probably won't be able to see us until next week sometime!!

So after a calming cuppa, some cornflakes (for a change)I decided that the living room,dining room and kitchen needed a good tidy, dust and hoover before I head off to the shower.

All ok so far and lol and behold any member of this family making a mess of my clean and tidy rooms they will be shot at dawn lol!!!

Then off to the physiotherapist at the hospital, an appointment I had to make 4 weeks ago as I had to cancel the last one due to illness.

This isn't fun to do when you have a child that is coughing so much no one wants to look after him for a couple of hours while you visit the physiotherapist.

A couple of hours was all I wanted, it wouldn't have hurt, afterall I'veput up with the coughing day and night since Saturday!!!

Good news is physio is happy with my progress and signed me off, I have a lot more movement in my neck now, she has given me some more exercises to do and will keep my file to hand until end of April, just in case I feel the need to return otherwise I am signed off for good.

Aching now though through all the manipulation she has done!

Sainsburys was busy with lots of screaming kids, none of which were near a parent of any reasonable responsibility - thankfully Richard only managed to keep up a constant stream of chatter in between coughing fits, laughing at me as I had left my list at home again and helping by adding things to the trolley I didn't need but really couldn't be bothered to keep taking out. I am still wondering how the cookies made their way in there, but as they have been eaten now they are not likely to make me worry about them any further.

So now I am having a lovely cup of tea, before I head off into my pristine kitchen and make some chilli for tonight's tea.

you never know at some point today I may, just may, get to sit down and read my book lol

EDIT I do not iron underwear, towels, bed linen, jumpers, nightclothes. They came out of the tumble dryer and no one separated them hence there is a mountain of an ironing pile yet most of it will not get ironed, just folded and put away lol

My life is just so full of fun, not a lot has changed lol

Happy mother's day to everyone who is a mum or is in the process of spoiling their mother

Two cards from my boys, one handmade by the youngest which was sweet with a poem he wrote inside it:

Mum you are the best
Mum you are the smartest
Mum you cannot be beaten
by any other mum!

Also got a bunch of flowers and two toblerone bars my favourite!

What diet lol

Washing out on the line to make the most of this nice weather we are having how long it will last who knows because they do say it will turn cold again (oh joy!)

Walked the dogs as well this morning. Now relaxing and playing on the net!
Some flowers for you all

Have a good day

Does anyone know how you go about getting an injunction against someone ?

Not that I am planning to, just may be useful in the future.

Thanks x

1. To celebrate the first day of spring, an ice cream parlour in America are giving away free ice cream all day Friday. What is your favourite flavour ice cream?
napolitina

2. Today is officially the first day of spring in the UK. When you think of spring, what is it that comes to your mind first?

The thought that warmer weather is just round the corner

3. Do you wish that daffodils, snowdrops and other spring flowers would flower all year round??

No I like the different colours of each season

4. Have you got your garden looking all spring like yet?

I was going to say no till I came home and noticed hubby has been tidying it up!

5. What will you do today to feel all spring like (keep it clean you smut monsters out there!!)??
Went to work all day.

I have had enough this week. So glad it is now the weekend!

I found the ideal cake for you

Hope you had a great day

Hugs

xxxxx

I had to laugh yesterday evening.

Hubby thought I was being silly till he got the joke.

Was on the laptop when an advert came on for a well know thrush cream - canestan.

Now the advertisers obviously didn't think it through clearly.

Catchline: Canestan will have you feeling yourself again.

I nearly wet myself

Right on that note I am off to work now see you later and have a good day!

What's the capital of Iceland? - About £3.50

How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.

Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon

What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
The pizza can still feed a family of four.

Q What's the difference between a merchant bank and Katie Price?
A: Both are institutions whose reputation is built on assets that, on closer inspection, turn out to be entirely artificial, vastly over-inflated and in danger of going through the floor at any moment. But at least Katie Price is still worth something.

What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
The pigeon is still capable of leaving a deposit on a new Ferrari.

The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been repossessed.

Latest news: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed. They've called in the retrievers.

What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything?
A Quarter-pounder with fries, please.

Bradford & Bingley employees are concerned they were given no notice of the takeover by Santander Bank.
A Government spokesman said: 'No one expected the Spanish acquisition..'

You know it's a credit crunch when...
• The cashpoint asks if you can spare any change.
• There's a 'buy one, get one free' offer - on banks.
• The Inland Revenue is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers.
• Gordon Brown has stopped chewing his nails and started sucking his thumb.
• Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than sterling.
• Highgrove has been repossessed.
• Victoria Beckham is pictured shopping in Primark.
• Alistair Darling's eyebrows have turned white.

Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles: 'You know, I could throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very happy.' Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says: 'Well, I could throw five £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy.' Gordon says: 'Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and make ten people very happy.'
The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them, and says: 'I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole country happy.'

Just spent Saturday afternoon cuddling my new niece. She will be two weeks old tomorrow already!

She is very demanding though, always after food - sister is very sore and is giving her a mixture of breast and bottle which was great for me as I got to feed her! I love that new baby smell it was so hard to drag myself away from her but finally managed to.

Sister was showing me her latest gifts from friends and clients - the well dressed baby of the year award should go to her she has so many clothes she will not get to wear them before she grows out of them. I have never seen so many clothes!

She is lovely though

...............................of a working week!

I am so glad it is Friday!

It has felt like a long week, I had a list of jobs to do at the start of it and yet I haven't managed to cross one thing off the list as yet! Still there is always Monday!

Dress down day today in aid of Comic relief. Erstwhile followers of this blog will know that I am not a fan of Comic relief and despite being told to do so several times there was no way I was turning up for work in my pyjamas! Sorry but they are not for public viewing and I couldn't be bothered to go to Primark or Matalan for a cheap pair. So I dressed down.

I put on a pair of comfortable trousers, a top and a pair of tatty trainers that I very comfortable and went to work. My one concession to silliness was to put some butterfly clips in my hair. I wasn't prepared to do anything else.

Children in their jim jams at school is not a pleasant sight. Even worse looking at adults in theirs!

Still they all had fun, raised over £500 for Comic relief and consoled ourselves at breaktime with some shortbread biccies.

Wish I hadn't had a school lunch though as now I feel sick!

Hope you all had a good day x

Bold everything you have done on this list

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said "I love you" and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars (although I was actually totally drunk at the time)
20. Changed a baby’s nappy
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. got drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger (and was totally mortified when she said no and got offended)
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 American states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Eaten fugu
89. Had a one-night stand
90. Gone to Thailand
91. Bought a house
92. Been in a combat zone
93. Buried one/both of your parents
94. Been on a cruise ship
95. Spoken more than one language fluently
96. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show (but in the audience)
97. Raised children
98. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Written articles for a major publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Ridden a bike
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery (does C section count?)
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to university
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Just for the hell of it. It wasn't that exciting, in fact looking back I thought I would do something a little different for my 100th post! Anyway this is what was posted on 5th August 2006 @ 13:01:25

100th post

Right as the title suggests this is my 100th post.

Started posting away on here on 9th May of this year and recorded 100 posts of inane drivellings, rants and funny moment of my life as well as a few memes and quizzes.

So thought I would do something a little different for you to look at. Below is a link to a list of the top 100 weird sites. Have a look, have fun and see if you agree.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/hot/100-weird/1.html

Miss Beatrice,

The church organist,

Was in her eighties

And had never been married. She was
admired for her sweetness

And kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor

Came to call on her and she showed him
into her quaint sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while
she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond
organ,

The young minister

Noticed a cute glass
bowl Sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled

With water, and in the
water
Floated, of all things, a
condom!

When she returned

With tea and
scones,

They began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his
curiosity

About the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer
resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said,

'I wonder if you would tell me about
this?'

Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it
wonderful?

I was walking through

The Park a few months ago

And I found this little package On the
ground.

The directions said

To place it on the organ,

Keep it wet and that it would prevent
the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All
winter.'

Daily Mail

A homecoming march by British troops returning from Iraq was today marred by ugly scenes as Muslim anti-war protesters hurled abuse at the parading soldiers.

Around 20 men in Islamic dress yelled 'terrorists' and held placards denouncing the soldiers as 'butchers of Basra' and 'baby killers' as they marched through Luton.

Other signs described the 200 men and women from the 2nd Battalion The Royal Anglian Regiment as 'Criminals, Murderers Terrorists'.
The atmosphere further deteriorated when locals waving St George's flags turned on the protesting group chanting 'Scum' and 'No surrender to the Taliban' .

This sickens me.

The military were sent on the orders of the Government who went into this war because George Bush wanted it. The military follow orders. They have no choice where they go.

The majority of the people in this country didn't agree with it yet we were ignored like we are over so many things.

Luton isn't the best place in England to live. Like many other towns it has it's problems. Parading through such a mulitcultural town probably wasn't the best idea this regiment has ever had but they do have a lot of respect by the majority who live here. In fact I know many young children who want to join them when they are old enough.

On the streets on Saturday we saw a stall where Muslims were promoting their religion. Fair enough I believe in live and let live. I have no problem with that and we all believe in something if it is a God or not. However I was witness a couple of years ago when a man who was preaching the word of God on the street was arrested by the police for 'disturbing the peace' when further down a group of muslims had a stall and were allowed to 'preach' the word of Allah.

People are getting angry in Luton. The town centre is not a nice place to go at the moment. And yes a lot of the tension is caused by a mindless few who will not allow people to live their lives the way they choose regardless of what their culture, religious or political beliefs are.

Barbara Millicent Roberts who is better known as Barbie.

Yes that doll that was a feature of many a girl's lives (though not mine) celebrates her 50th birthday today. Many events, according to the radio, have been planned to celebrate it and she still looks young and unrealistic, perhaps she has had a boob job done?

Her creator, Ruth Handler, saw a gap in the market for a doll that represented a young woman after watching her daughter play with her doll and it's clothes. The very first Barbie, that was shown at the New York Toy fair in 1959, wore a black and white swimsuit, high-heeled sandals, and had the trademark high eyebrows. She has pursued more than 100 different careers, including astronaut, gymnast, flight attendant, Unicef ambassador, and Formula One driver. Barbie even had several runs for president, including, ahead of her times perhaps, as a female African-American candidate in 2004. Of course as we all know she had a love interest in 'Ken' but they announced their split in true celebrity style in 2004.

Of course there is the usual criticisms about her figure and it being unrealistic, causing teenagers to become anorexic to conform to the ideal of what a woman should look like.

Remember this is a doll! but it didn't stop one site from trying it out http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7920962.stm

Exclaimer: No hint of sarcasm went into the making of this blog entry.

After our trip out around the DIY shops this morning, we came home and hubby decided that a decluttering job of youngest's bedroom needed to be done.

We purchased a chest of drawers for his room earlier in the week, which came flatpacked and hubby carefully put together only to find that one of the drawers has a bottom missing from it. I phoned the company only to find they couldn't send out the missing piece and did I really want to return the chest of drawers and order a replacement. I bargained with them and got some money refunded instead which is a bonus - hubby reckons he can get some wood to go on the bottom sometime in the week so all is not lost.

So there is hubby, cleaning mould from the walls, dusting and decluttering while I supervise assist from the bed. He took the surround of the windows only to find that the idiots who put in the new double glazing five years ago (and subsequently have gone bust) did not fill in around the window before putting the edging on. No wonder we have a lot of condensation in the house and mould creeping on the walls to my dismay! So another job to be tackled in the summer then.

Hubby has filled in son's window, put everything back to normal. I have sorted out his clothes and there are three carrier bags to go to the clothes bank sometime this week. Sorted out his bookcase and found a lot of books that he has now outgrown, and as I am loathe to throw books out I will take them down to my sister for my niece to have when she is a little older - though I know my sister and Future BIL will start reading them to their daughter almost immediately!

Hubby is now putting the finishing touches to the room now. We plan to paint it sometime in the summer after the bathroom and hallway have been done. The next big project after that will be our bedroom and that will be expensive!

I think I need a weekend to get over then weekend, it has been far too busy lol

It comes to something when you make a decision, go out searching and come back more confused when you started.

It was a simple plan. The bathroom needs to be updated badly.
A house built in the 70s, with a green coloured bathroom suite that clearly was the height of fashion then, now looks incredibly dated and old now.

Combine this with the fact I hate coloured bathroom suites and you have what has been termed as the puke room, because I really do want to puke each time I enter that room.

So plan A came into being. This summer, while I descend on my Aunt and Uncle for the week sans children, hubby will spend that week with his friends taking out the old bathroom, refitting a new, bright, white and clean bathroom suite and decorating the bathroom - I just have to tell my Aunt and uncle of the plan but I am sure they will love to have me stay with them - who wouldn't .

So we spent this morning, walking around many a diy shop and the bath store, looking at various suites and deciding what we want to go for. Lot of discussion ensued - will this cistern be better than that one? does this toilet lid look better than that? Do we want a bath that will be a p shape so that I can still have my shower without flooding the bathroom? Do we want a straight bath and how deep do we want it? What size sink to get? What vanity unit I want? And so it went on.

Came away after having gone there with a clear picture in my head of what I wanted and finding that it isn't that easy to get. Saw some lovely suites, all white, now we just need to finalise the small details and agree on what we actually want. For such a small room though it is going to cost a lot of money to do if I get the suite I want :ahem: but I know I am worth it Just got to save up to pay for it now lol

In other news I have discovered that I am addicted to Cadbury's brunch bars!

Samantha

Usually a name for a person that is a walking Goddess. Gorgeous to the maximum, fun to talk to, easy to befriend with a sexy booty. Often pulls off the innocent act but she gets around.

A sexy female who if you are not currently dating you should get with. Samanthas are women of beauty and booty and usually a gorgeous blonde. They are all you wish you had and the best choice for a girl friend. (unless you know a samantha who is a man)

If you date or dated these gorgeous Samantha's you have all you'll ever need or you are mental and let the best thing you had go, without realizing it.

Samantha's are the best in bed even if they appear they aren't. Get to know your Samantha because studies show many grow up to be nude models just out of the blue.

An feminate name created in the Antebellum South that was popular among African slaves. Samantha is a combination of the Arabic/African name Samad and the Greek suffix ?antha which put together means Eternal Flower.

A kind,awesome young woman, who is friendly to everyone.She is a very outgoing person and she cares about her friends and family.

So very funny!!!

It has been a strange week. I have felt tired for most of it and have come down with an ear infection as well which isn't helping.

Today I woke up with a bad headache as well and despite resting still not feeling too grand.

Treating myself to some retail therapy online by trying to find 'the' birth sampler to stitch for my niece. I was going to see her today but due to not feeling 100% I have decided to leave it till next week instead.

I am craving balsamic vinegar sensation crisps and wine might have to treat myself later!

right back to searching for the perfect sampler
Hope you are having a good day.

Hugs xx