Spread your wings and fly away

Following on from post last week, this morning saw us woken by police helicopter going round and round overhead. Later on I see two police cars turn into the road.

Hubby and son take the dogs for a walk and report back that there are three police cars at the bottom of the street, one of the houses is covered in police tape - we don't know the owners in fact can't recall seeing anyone there for a while now.

Hubby had to go out later to look at someones lights and comes back with the news that the alleyway has been taped up, so has the green, another house and the underpass is completely blocked including more police cars!!

I wish someone knew what was going on in our normally quiet street!!

Copied from Scoobydoofus

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer the following questions. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. Repost as "my life according to (band/musician name)"

Are you a male or female?
Woman In Love

Describe yourself:
Misunderstood

How do you feel?
Just Older

Describe where you currently live:
It's A Long Road
Into The Netherworld

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Destination Anywhere

Your favorite form of transportation:
Homebound Train

Your best friend is:
Born To Be My Baby

What's the weather like?
Dry Country

Favorite time of day:
Silent Night

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead

What is life to you?
Miracle

Your fear:
Something For The Pain

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead Goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was 'something wrong' with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

'He's just lying there looking sick,' he told me. 'I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?'

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

'Honey,' I called, 'come look at the lizard!'

'Oh, my gosh!' my wife exclaimed. 'She's having Babies..'

'What?' my son demanded. 'But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!'

I was equally outraged.

'Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce,' I said accusingly to my wife

'Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?' she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)

'No, but you were supposed to get two boys!' I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

'Yeah, Bert and Ernie!' my son agreed.

'Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,' she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

'Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience,' I announced. 'We're about to witness the miracle of birth.'

'Oh, gross!' they shrieked

'Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?' my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient ... After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

'We don't appear to be making much progress,' I noted.

'It's breech,' my wife whispered , horrified.

'Do something, Dad!' my son urged.

'Okay, okay.' Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared I tried several more times with the same results.

'Should I call 911?' my eldest daughter wanted to know.

'Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.' (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

'Let's get Ernie to the vet,' I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son hol ding the cage in his lap.

'Breathe, Ernie, breathe,' he urged..

'I don't think lizards do Lamaze ,' his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for G~d's sake.) .

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

'What do you think, Doc, a C-section?' I suggested scientifically.

'Oh, very interesting,' he murmured. 'Mr.. And Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?'

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

'Is Ernie going to be okay?' my wife aske d.

'Oh, perfectly,' the vet assured us. 'This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um ..um .Masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back.' He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

'So, Ernie's just, just...excited,' my wife offered.

'Exactly,' the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle, and giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

'What's so funny?' I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness..

Tears were now running down her face. 'It's just that ...I'm picturing you pulling on its....its...teeny little... ' She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

'That's enough,' I warned.. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

'I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad,' he told me.

'Oh, you have NO idea,' my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.

One cage: $50.

Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:

Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.

Lizards lay eggs!

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.

There have been several reasons given for the police appearance the other night in our street. The most plausible one was someone was firing a gun but despite this reason being reported on local radio there has been very little mentioned since and as you can imagine there are a lot of rumours bounding around the street at the moment. Looks like we will have to wait for the local rag to come out to find out what the truth they have been told it is.

Friday night saw me out with the girls, a night on the town to the Whitehouse where we began our jaunt ( a local Weatherspoons pub where they stamp your hand as you go in) for a few drinks which was rather busy and only two members of staff behind the bar. Then onto one of the many nightclubs the scatter the town, chicagos,which was dead. Yep Friday night and not many people in a nightclub the one which you would go into because you are an older client, where they wil play music you know and not just dance music and would be packed, yet on Friday it was empty with jsut a scattering of people! so we had one drink and headed off to another hostelry in town, Brookes, which was full of firemen collecting for charity - and yes we did have fun with their helmets

Not much happened yesterday, I was a football widow again, but today we went to the craft fair at Wrest Park which was quite expensive really been to better craft shows. Off to a friends house later for drinks and nibbles and socialising!

Apart from that not much has happened here really in fact I feel as though I have been away too long but really it was just a few days and there wasn't much to say!

Right enough for now have to sort out what to wear tonight

Hugs x

Coming home from birthday meal, we spot 2 police vans and 6 police cars at the bottom of the street. Now I live in a cul de sac of sorts. At the bottom is a road that cuts across leading to another cul de sac, then another one. Each one is joine by a series of alleyways and you can get to the stree further along either across a grass area where the local kids play a yearly football game of no rules and as many kids as can fit on the green or by going down yet another alleyway.

As we park the car I say "Wonder what that is all about?"

Hubby replies "Well it's not a burglary as the police won't come out to that!"

So eldest son is instructed to take dogs for a walk to be nosy as they have been left by themselves for a while.

He comes back saying that two alleyways have been blocked off by tape, the green is inaccessible (they stopped him from walking the dogs across it) and the layby which some people park their cars is also taped off.

I am curious, though worried, it is a bit close to home and we don't usually have problems round here.

Ah well.

There are three of us that regularly keep in contact with each other and meet up occasionally to socialise. Last time we were together we planned on a weekend away, something different to do really.

Had an email from one of the friends earlier about going to Galway for the weekend - something that a friend is trying to organise for three of us to see another friend/ex colleague who has gone back home there.

Set for October 24th to 27th to stay at Jury's Inn including flight £240.

Had to reluctantly say no. Couple of weeks before have to sort out nan's birthday party, she will be 100, couple of weeks after Simon's 18th so money will be tight. Looks like either the other two go by themselves or we cancel for another time. As it is with Two birthdays falling either side can't justify that amount of money particularly as I will also have to find money for drinks, food, etc which there will be a lot of!

I am sure that one of the other friend in our party will not want to pay that as she is on a tighter budget than me at the moment, in fact not sure that our plan to go out on Friday night will happen due to her lack of finances!

Ah well back to the drawing board

Not too sure how I have been feeling lately hence my lack of blogging.

My back has been bad, really bad. Got up one morning unable to move, needing help just to put a pair of knickers on. Drugged up to the gills, trying any pain relief I could get hold off and unable to get a doctors appointment I struggled for two days, unable to sit, lay or stand comfortably. Yes perhaps I should have gone to the hospital to get it checked but the one time I went out in the car (someone else driving) I was in agony so decided not to go out again. Thankfully the pain has eased now and I can move again, so to replace it the hayfever came back with a vengence and everytime I went out into the garden to hang washing out I ended up having a sneezing fit, itchy throat and sore eyes.

Hubby has been off this last week and even though we made plans for days out nothing has happened so sick of looking at four walls. Ok off to my neice later but I really wanted to go out and enjoy our holiday together and instead I get a husband who is glued to the football - I swear I am hating it more and more.

Got the last of the uniform for youngest yesterday and new shoes and trainers. Can't believe he is off to high school soon. Simon didn't do as well as expected in his AS levels which is disappointing. Think it was the wake up call he needed though only so much nagging I can do to get him to realise that he can't keep thinking everything will be easy in life! Why is it the more intelligent they are the stupider they are with it? He really doesn't have any common sense sometimes!

JUst re read this and realised what a moany old cow I am sounding, really it is because I am just fed up. Also worrying about someone close isn't helping either! Neither is my weight but that is self inflicted, comfort food is needed when I feel like this which isn't a good idea when one is trying their best to lose weight lol!

Right off I go before I depres everyone!

Hugs xx

Hubby took me shopping to MK today. We walked around the centre several times, I tried one dress on and decided it looked better on the hanger than on me. He managed to buy himself 8 books, me 1 to add to my collection. I reated myself to some lipstick and new eyeshadow, apart from that little else. I have never seen the center look so empty with so little to buy in the shops - horror of horrors couldn't even find a pair of shoes I liked!

We then went to Hobbycraft where hubby browsed around looking for mosaic kits which seemed to be in short supply and I looked through the cross stitch section for a sampler to do for my niece - the only one I like is now discontinued, they had one in stock but it had clearly been opened with the instructions removed! So again we came away with nothing.

We then popped into Costco to have a mooch around and renew my membership - it hadn't been done for a few years and so had to start over again. Long story cut short hubby decided it wasn't worth renewing and so we didn't only to find that with two important birthdays coming up we need a cake and that is the one place you can get a huge cake to serve large amounts of people for a reasonable price - particularly if you are on a tight budget!

WE came out a few pounds lighter in our pockets having stocked up the cupboards with tinned tomatoes, sugar and cereal!

Home now and just consummed the ultimate in comfort food - buttery, cheesy mashed potato - didn't know what I felt like eating so had that as I haven't had it in a few years! Have a Vodka and coke on the go as well as a well earned cup of tea and will sit down and watch the telly in a mo with some chocolate -yes I am hormonal!!

Right hope you have all had a smashing day and enjoyed the sun streaming through those office windows lol!

Hugs xx

My living room is now spotless. IT took over 3 hours to get to this lovliness due to the fact that I decluttered (why do they insist on putting things down the side of the chairs) moved the furniture around to hoover under it and put it all back again and polished and dusted everything. Hoovered again making sure all the corners of the room had been clean so the spiders no longer lurk there in their webs

Hubby said I should have told him it needed to be done but he never does a clean like I do, it is surface only!

Might start on the dining room and conservatory tomorrow

HOpe you had a good day xx

Regular readers of my blog know that at this time of year I become one of many who join the ranks of becoming football widows.

We are the ones who have to put everything on a back burner because it may interfere with our husband's/partner's viewing habits on the telly or,as in my case, on the terraces.

Major events have to be meticulously planned so they do not clash with upcoming games or you know your other half will not be in attendance and neither will his many footballing buddies. Out of season sees us suffering as partners hop from foot to foot and stroll around like caged bears because there are no games to watch - unless of course the world cup is approaching or you have a partner that finds one of the sporting channels now shows coverage of Aussie rules football.

Nig, for the first time in years, went to the opening game of the season yesterday, with a happy smile on his face, leaving me with the two children, in agony with my back drugged up to the nines and unable to get comfortable. In previous years I have deviously accidently planned our summer holiday away at the start of the season, flattering eyelids and feigning innocence when this has been pointed out by himself -"WHat do you mean it is the start of the season hun, I thought that was next week when we were back!" I would cry out when questioned. This year there was no holiday away as we are saving up to have the bathroom done and also to go back to Florida in a couple of years time.

So as I said, off he went, happy as a skylark while I suffered here at home. He came back full of the joys of because his beloved team had won, and I, with half an ear (because I was catching up on all those programmes I had recorded on V+) listened as he told me the usual - the manager is a , the ref is a , so and so played well but the other one was useless and so on it went......

You see it doesn't matter how well or how badly his team does, there will always be an element of who should be playing,who shouldn't be and what a twat the manager is (Nig has never been a fan of this particular manager and decided armageddon had arrived when he had been appointed), and how idiotic a ref is. I will put up with this tirade until mid may when no doubt there will be something else for him to moan about while he paces up and down like a caged bear.

HE is a life long Spurs supporter, season ticket holder of many years standing, and like most Spurs supporters never is really happy. But unlike a lot of teams who have supporters that have never seen the team play live football, other than on the telly, he goes to every game he can and would follow them anywhere if it wasn't for the fact that every so often I put my foot down and have a mammoth size tantrum because really, the kids and I never get his attention while the season is here. Our standing joke is that Spurs comes first, work second, then the dogs then us somewhere in that list of priorities, so of course I have to stamp my foot and throw my rattle out of the pram to get noticed, wouldn't you do so if you had to be as accomodating as I?

Thankfully the kids are not into football, he put them off as he is far to serious - afterall 22 overgrown and overpaid adults who have never grown up chasing after a ball is not that exciting to watch now is it!

He tells me that he has two weeks off work to spend with me - hmm where is he now? Doing a private job in London somewhere lol!

So to those that read this blog regularly you know what to expect, those that are new, welcome to the rants that will come your way over the next few months because as much as I love my husband there are times when he can be so darn infuriating and a girl needs to vent once in a while lol!

Have a good Monday x

Ok seen this on Queen Mab and Rubychoo blogs so thought I would join in.

My avatar, Faffa was because:

a) I like bulls

b) Bull in a china shop accurately describes me

c) I have always wanted a bull called Faffa

d) My starsign is the Taurus bull, my name is what I called myself when I was youner

e)It is just my quirky sense of humour lol!!

You decide

I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and
have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake &
sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for
mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that
you will be relieved when
I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you
will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu

Now get your mind out
of the gutter and go
get your flu shot!

Received by email today

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

You know the day is not going to go well when your husband turns over in bed to drape his arm across you and you scream in agony.

No matter how you lay, sit, stand, you want to cry with the pain.

You sneeze and wet yourself as you have very little feeling and control.

You want to go to the toilet but you can't.

The pain stems from my shoulder blades, travels down my spine, across my hips and is affecting the top of my legs.

I walked around town as if I had something large shoved up my backside, descending stairs was agony, tears threaten to burst forth, yet determined to keep moving.

I have taken all tablets I have in my possession, bit by bit, the pain is easing now but that may because the tens machine is on high and is pummeling away - no doubt getting up will burst forth the flood of tears that lay behind these eyes of mine.

Hubby had to drive to town today as I just couldn't manage it, getting in and out of the car was hard enough.

Yet what did I do?

Ironing.

Yes I stood at the ironing table yesterday afternoon, happily ironing away at what threatened to be the Mount Everest of ironing piles, watching a film or two, put it all away and hey presto, agony starts.

So I sit here now, having updated son's cv and helped fill out an application form for yet another part time job that he will probably never hear about and get even more depressed about.

Daren't sneeze, daren't cough. Another hour to go before I can take any more tablets, if you don't hear from me you know I have been swallowed up by that great big hole called self pity.

Hugs x

Oooh look at that yet another two friends have disappered in as many days.

Goodbye!

My mum passed on this to me

Barnet Council turned my sister down for a council house despite the fact that she, her partner and their child are living at home with my mum and my bed riden grandmother in a house you can barely swing a cat in.

ON top of it all is the quote

They put people into places you wouldn't put dogs into

If you know the area at all then you know that is not the case!

Makes me angry.

Thanks for all the messages yesterday not caught up with them all yet

My friend and I had a great time yesterday having a good gossip session catching up with the news in our individual lives and the going to watch a good film. We saw the Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds which was very funny - didn't stop laughing and one that I think I will get on DVD when it comes out. We plan on going again in a couple of weeks to see The Ugly truth so I am already looking forward to that.

Video of me dancing and singing on Saturday night is on Facebook though the girl made it friends only so as I am not on her friends list yet I haven't seen it though her mother says that it is highly embarrassing!

Nig's eldest neice has got engaged so I am really happy for her. She had a difficult childhood and it is great to see her so happy at last.

Right that is all the news I have for now. Exercise time and hang out some washing I think.

Hugs xx

The sun shines and I am plucking up the courage to do another workout, though not sure what yet, and have yet another cup of tea.

Feel a bit more alert than I was yesterday which is just as well as I am off to the cinema and a meal later, with a friend, to catch up on the gossip that surrounds our lives.

She is one of my best friends and even if we don't see each other often we tend to pick up on where we left off.

Not much else planned for today - may be around later if not play nicely!

Hugs xx

Had a night out with the girls last night.

Friend of mine has move to Milton Keynes to live with her partner as it wasn't worth trying to keep two homes going, so I drove another friend and myself up there for a night of laughter, singing (badly) and dancing. I only hope her daughter doesn't put the video she took of us all on facebook.

I wasn't drinking as I was driving and we didn't get home till the wee small hours of the morning (2.30am) and i have spent the best part of the day feeling like a zombie, very tired.

Amongst the many things we talked about was going clubbing later this month once we get paid which will be fun though not sure how I will be able to stand it when I can't cope with a simple night out at a friends house and I haven't been drinking!!

We are also thinking of saving our pennies and plan a trip to Galway to meet up with another friend of ours who has recently moved there. All we have to do is find accomodation and plan to hit the clubs while there as well or at the very least explore the nightlife available lol. Probably won't make it for a year or so yet so plenty of time to plan.

In other news my mum is planning an open house/party to celebrate my nans upcoming birthday. She will be 100 in October and is already planning the finer details - wine, cake, food. Can see I will have to renew my Costco card now which is good as I have been nagging Nig about doing it for a while now as he let it lapse!

Right enough rambling better check up on what everyone has been up to!

Hope you are all having a great Sunday x

So all these channels on offer and not one that is showing anything remotely entertaining.

The radio has nothing but sport on - the footie season has started by the sound of the scores they are reading out.

I have set the V+ box to record some programmes that I will miss this week as usually hubby has the control.

Off out later. A friend and I are going to Milton Keynes where another friend of ours now lives and we shall have an entertaining evening with her. I am driving so no alcohol for me - wil have to make up for it tomorrow

Now I had better sort out the clothes on my bed and find a home for them as well as find out if I can fit into the skirt I bought in a sale 3 weeks ago.

Did I iron the skirt I plan on wearing tonight? Hmm better stop blogging and find out the answer to this question as I can't remember - memory is not what it once was you know lol!

Have a good evening xx

What is it about a smell that hits you as someone walks past or you enter a shop that has the ability to make you go weak at the knees or want to hurl the entire contents of your stomach up?

I encountered both today.

Standing in the queue at the building society and this person was standing two people ahead of me. At first I could not understand why the person in front was leaving such a gap between himself and the person in front of him then it hit me, the smell.

It was disgustining. The smell of the unwashed, that one that hits you and lingers, of body odour, unwased hair and body, dirty clothes - yet this person made quite a reasonable deposit into her account and had a cheque written out of a large sum that suggests that they could afford some soap with which to wash. I think after she left, one of the clerks in the building society must have gone through a can of air freshner in order to mask the smell left by the person when they departed, the amount of people who tried to cover their noses and not look conspicuous in doing so was amazing in itself. YOu have to feel sorry for the person, neither old nor young in years, but still it wasn't a pleasant experience.

The other smell, well, do you ever go into a shop to have someone walk past you and think mm that perfume/aftershave is nice?

Some scents suit certain people, and when you wear the right one that compliments you perfectly then you probably get a better effect than what he adverts for Lynx and Impulse suggest

Today a young man walked past me leaving behind him a smell of aftershave with a hint of sandalwood and musk that was delightful. He was tall, looked good in jeans and white t shirt, hair tumbling to his shoulders with a hint of stubble on his chin, looks aside his aftershave complimented him perfectly and if I was younger and unmarried who knows what I would have done, however I was very good and just enjoyed the pleasant aroma and admired him from afar.

Last night, my husband and I were sitting in the living room and I said to him,
'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

he got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.

he's such a b..............

I must remember this one when my son goes off to university!

Peter invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal;
his mother couldn't help but notice how lovely Peter's flat mate,
Joanne, was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and
this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flat mate
than met the eye.
Reading his mum's thoughts, Peter volunteered, 'I know what you must
be thinking, but I assure you, Joanne & I are just flat mates'.
About a week later, Joanne came to Peter saying, 'Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you
don't suppose she took it do you?

'Well I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her just to be sure' said Peter.
So he sat down and wrote

DEAR MOTHER,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DID' TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE. I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DID NOT' TAKE THE FRYING PAN BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.

LOVE PETER

Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read

DEAR SON,

I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO' SLEEP WITH JOANNE, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU 'DO NOT' SLEEP WITH JOANNE, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF SHE WAS SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED, SHE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE F**KING FRYING PAN BY NOW.

LOVE MUM

1. Why is the earth round?
So that it will spin round easily have you ever tried to spin something that was square or triangular?

2. Why does toast burn just as you turn round to make a cuppa tea?

Because it is jealous and wants attention if you go to the kettle.

3. Are you a hoarder and never throw stuff away?
No I just like to recycle things

4. Why do dogs always want to kiss you after they have been licking their "bits"??
To take the taste of their balls away

5. Why do petrol stations charge you for air to blow your tyres up?? Isn't air free?

If it was free they would be accused of giving it away

So here I am married to a marvellous man who is an electrician.

As an electrician he will readily agree to change a socket for someone.

He will change a fuseboard

He will work in people's houses at a weekend when I have planned to do other things (that is when Spurs are not playing of course).

Ask him to do something for you and he will readily do it, no problems at all.

BUT

Has he replaced the broken socket in our bedroom yet? No

Has he managed to replace the lightbulb that he blew in the livingroom? No

Has e done any of the many things that need to be done around the house that he decided needed to be done when we moved in 10 years ago? No.

I may have to phone for an electrician!

The sort of day when you've gotta wear shades

..... about hubby.

flicking through the channels today in the hope that something, anything worth watching will be on.

"Emmanuel in Space!" he says "A really crap film even for something that is soft porn!"

Errr did the title not give that one away?

Apparently not because he watched it the other night when I was in Wales and decided it was crap.

I wonder about him sometimes lol

I have had a fairly lazy hump day so far.

I managed to drag myself out of bed and do a little light core workout, showered, ate breakfast, had a little sleep (I had a panic attack in the night which always leaves me feeling shattered the next morning), instructed youngest to hoover for me, played on here, phoned a friend, answered or deleted the many emails I received while on holiday, played some more on here and am now cooking some chicken ready to put into a pie.

I am exhausted.

I can't decide if I want to curl up with my book or do some cross stitching.
Hmmm decisions decisions.

See you later x

I spent the afternoon baking cakes with my youngest child.

He made the first batch which came out looking a bit flat but were tasty anyway while the second lot came out looking like they should do:

Needless to say the kids and hubby have been at them already and most of them have been eaten!

Youngest wasn't as keen on washing up as he was making the cakes but I told him that the secret of being a good cook was knowing how to wash up well afterwards - who says I am sneaky lol

Friday dawned overcast after a night of rain, and after a hearty cooked breakfast the boys and I decided to tackle the delights of Devil's Bridge. Now I have been here several times but never done the walk round the waterfall or attempted Jacob's ladder but decided that today would be the day to do this despite the gloomy looking weather afterall the sun was trying to find it's way through the clouds.

Like most places in Wales there is a tale behind this area and how it came to be called Devil's Bridge:

Once Upon a time around the IIth Century, the Devil visited Wales as he had never been there before and he had heard that the scenery was breathtaking. He soon came across an old lady who seemed upset. "What's the matter?" he asked out of curiosity.
"Oh, I'm in such a terrible muddle and I don't know what to do!. My cow has wandered across the river and I can't get her back".
'Ah!" said the Devil 'What you need my dear, is a bridge, and I am just the man to build you one. Why don't you go home, and in the morning there will be a bridge waiting for you. All I ask in return is to keep the first living thing to cross the bridge!"
"Okay then" she said "It's a bargain. I'll see you in the morning. Nos da, Goodnight"

That night she wondered about this stranger who would build her a bridge. 'What a strange request! Why should I cross the bridge to get my cow back if he gets to keep me in exchange? Mind you it is very tempting offer"

The next day she got up and called for her faithful dog. Together they went down to the river. "Well well" she couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her was the best bridge that she had ever seen! I told you that I would build you a bridge" said the Devil appearing from nowhere.
"Now it's your turn to keep your side of the bargain".
I know, you get to keep the first living thing to cross the bridge" and she started to walk towards the bridge. But just when she got to the entrance, she stopped, took out a loaf of bread from her apron pocket and hurled it across the bridge. As quick as a flash and before the Devil could stop it, the dog chased after it. 'Aaaaaaagh!!!!!" screeched the Devil. "You stupid old woman, I don't believe it! Your smelly, hairy farm dog has become the first living thing to cross my bridge. It's no good to me" he screamed and then he vanished.

Well, the Devil was never seen in Wales again as he was so embarrassed at being outwitted by the old lady. High in the mountains near Aberystwyth, there is a village where a very old bridge crosses a deep gorge. Above it are two other bridges built at later dates. But the lowest one....Well, they say that the Devil himself built it!

My cousin and his two girl's arrived later that day. His wife was on a hen weekend so he drove up from Cardiff to drop the girls off who are spending this week with his parents, ny aunt and uncle. They are lovely girls aged 6 & 2 and it was great catching up with him. He has had a promotion at work and is now manager of National Roman legion Musuam in Caerleon. There is a picture of him dressed in his finery here the first one on the top right hand side of the page.

We also paid a visit to Nant yr Arian which is run by the forestry commision. It is a lovely place full of wonderful views, where you can see kites feeding by the lakes and the children can play in one of their play areas safely. I supervised while my aunt and cousin went off searching for winberries to pick for crumble. Alas there weren't many around so missed out on having that delicious crumble lol.

So that was it really a fun time as always and one that has many memories, not least of my eldest getting drunk for the first time, mind you we weren't watching how much wine he was drinking, but at least he got drunk around people that know him rather than in the street LOL!

Yes, as some of you may have guessed, I have returned from what my friend lovingly calls the 'land of lard' and by the way the scales groaned when I got on them this morning, I am inclined to agree though I have to say I think my downfall was the amount of wine that was consummed on a nightly basis!

But that is what holidays are all about aren't they?

So the boys and I had fun. We travelled to my aunt and uncle's house on Sunday taking our time and stopping for lunch just outside Telford watching people park badly

We all cheered when we saw the sign Croeso i Cymru and agreed it felt like we had come home - something I have always felt in Wales and never anywhere else. We settled in, had dinner, chatted and caught up with the family gossip over wine of course, before planning what we would do the next day.

We went to Cardigan town and bay, unfortunately no photos due to the fact there were roadworks everywhere and we couldn't get to the castle. We did however find the welsh wildlife centre, Teifi marshes which had some spectacular scenery
We tried to find the farm park that was signposted nearby but we managed to lose the signpots somewhere along the way so amused ourselves by taking shots of the views on the drive back between Aberaeron and New Quay

The next two days we spent indoors playing board games and cards as the weather was foul!

Sunshine on Thursday and we ventured out to head to Conwy Castle in North Wales. Again marvellous views and scenery on the drive up unfortunately unable to stop to take photos of them even though I wanted to take one of the waterfall that was on the side of the road obviously going down to an underground cavern that lead to the river. Next time perhaps.

I am a big fan of exploring castles and ruins in fact I tend to spend a lot of time in Wales doing just that, even going back to ones I have been to before. This castle is one of the better ones though, it was spectacular and well worth the 2 hours it took to travel to it. A visit to the website will do it more justice than I can do here. .